dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?
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Anonymous
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The word is out that women who take on a guy with kids will have a rough road to travel. This goes for women who have their own kids, too.
Despite all our societal efforts to be woke and aware and fair and nonjudgmental, there is one specific group of people who are immediately given negative connotation just by their name alone: Stepmother. No matter how old the kids, no matter how amicable the divorce, no matter what - if you are a woman you will probably not have success at developing a relationship with a man's kids. Maternal bonds are the strongest bonds there are. Kids are naturally going to be loyal to their mothers and any other woman who comes around is eventually suspect. It's the oldest story in the book. Even widowers will tell you of problems trying to date - memories of mom may make it very hard for kids (even adult kids) to accept that dad has another woman. Even stepmoms who started out great and held steady for years will eventually find out that they have never been accepted by those kids. Once weddings, grandkids, health/long term care, inheritance starts entering the picture, even those nice adult stepkids you have may very well turn on you. Money and how it is allocated is a real issue. This should be a wake up call for men. Once you have kids with one woman, you will NEVER be able to fully integrate another woman into your life. The warning to women is those children will never fully accept you, and should you marry, they may very well be the reason you find yourself in that 70% divorce-rate for a second marriage. |
Anonymous
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Heh, haven't read this whole thread - but back when I was dating, I actually assumed I would marry someone like OP.
I didn't want kids of my own, didn't want to parent full time, but thought I would be a great part time stepmom - like a fun aunt role. Having kids in my life that I am not primarily responsible for, but that I have a close-ish relationship with. Anyway too late now because I got married - to someone who doesn't have kids and doesn't want kids - but I can't imagine I am the only one out there. Then again, there are exactly zero people I talked to about this who thought it was either a good idea or really possible once you navigated actual relationships with actual people, so. |
Anonymous
I think if you open your pool to divorced women with kids who don't want to have a blended family, you have a good chance of finding someone. However, a woman without kids of any age who does not want kids is unlikely to want to be in a relationship with you. I posted before. I am early 40s with kids but do not want to blend families. I am not looking for a serious relationship. My pool is divorced dads who have the same idea or men who are are divorced without kids or never married, no kids and don't want kids because they feel like they are too late in the game to start now. I think you need to give a bit on the kids part. I actually wrote this before: -- You are being unrealistic. Women who do not want kids do not want a man with kids. Your choices are 1. a 30s woman and you be willing to have another kid 2. A woman 42+ 3. A divorced woman (30s or 40s) with kids who does not want to blend families (that is your best bet) I am an early 40s woman with kids; I do not want to blend families. I am dating a man who is 40 who does not want kids. I will never remarry. I just want a boyfriend. You need to adjust your expectations. --- If you add divorced moms who don't want to blend families, I think you would do well. |
Anonymous
| Op is a creep. Now there’s a post in this virus asking if you have to disclose if you had a vasectomy!!! Gee I wonder if that’s op! So when we told him his only hope was women in their 40’s he said nope to that and now wants to lie to younger child bearing women. DISGUSTING |
Anonymous
| Forum. Not virus! |
Anonymous
If that's real, just look for something casual and make clear that's what you want. None of this "I'm not looking for a stepmom for my kids [unless you're into that]". |
Anonymous
Are you successful? Because successful black men are at a premium, as they are preferred by the majority of the black women. |
Anonymous
But he's not willing to spend $, according to his prior post. So unless they get married, there's no advantage. |
Anonymous
Not by DCUM standards. 150K, but do work in what sounds like a cool job with fun travel. Also, my ex and I made out great when we sold our house after divorce and were each able to buy houses of our own with plenty of room for our kids. Some of the women I've dated live with their parents or in a group house. |
Anonymous
| ^ so it’s just sex and it has to be at your house? I can’t imagine being your age with kids and ever introducing any 20 something to my friends, family, etc. It’s even more cliche that they still live at home or in a group house. Let me clue you in -your “dates” see you as a meal ticket. |
Anonymous
And watching too much porn. Which is made FOR men, BY men. |
Anonymous
Some men are attractive enough and good enough in bed to find casual sex with younger women without it being a $ thing. If you're in your 20s and not looking for something serious, having a short-term relationship with a guy who is kind, attractive, cooks you dinner, knows what he's doing, is grateful for your presence, and cares enough to take his time and take care of you is not a bad way to spend a few months. |
Anonymous
Sure. And to the vast majority of women, they're going to find men in their 20s and 30s the most attractive. And when it comes to a NSA situation, where there is no hope of creating a life together one day, all the other concerns for money and frankly everything else go out the window. Women can get random, casual sex from about 90% of single men. Why on earth would they pick a 40+ father with nothing to offer? When there are 20 year olds with six packs, huge d***s, and endless stamina? Just asking, from someone who's had many of the 20 year old FWBs (and a lot of fun!) |
Anonymous
I don't think they're going to pick OP. If they were, he wouldn't be here. But the guy who said he's getting this, that doesn't seem implausible to me, and I don't think it's about the money. I've chosen significantly older lovers when I could have chosen younger guys with six packs because there were a lot of things I preferred about that dynamic. The focus on my body and my pleasure and not his d***, the sheer gratitude for and joy that I was in his bed, the skill and intuition, and playing with some specific dynamics related to age. |
Anonymous
Of course SOME older men who have aged well can do it, just as SOME older women can have full blown relationships with hot guys in their 20s. A ton of it is based in: where you already considered extremely attractive? Have you kept yourself looking good, i.e. free of visual signs of aging like wrinkles, hair loss for men, sun spots, etc? Do you have a youthful demeanor (OP's posts and extremely overrational explanations of things suggest he has not)? The fact is it's way easier to date UP the age ladder than down it. Most people ten years older than a person are going to be clamoring for literally anyone younger than them, for both sexes. Most younger people are going to have to have a reason to date older. A lot of times that's money, especially for men. With the situation OP described, I frankly cant see one thing that would entice a young woman into NSA sex with him, not with so many other options around. Just being blunt. |