Vent about my sister just being a jerk

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. If it bothers your dad he can take it up with her. Don't make it your issue.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking us instead of asking your sister what happened?

[Anonymous]

There is no universe where sending flight and hotel information in the absence of anything else after it was agreed that the family would get together for the holidays is normal. You all are frickin' nuts to suggest that. It's not normal to bail on family plans in that manner. Obviously she isn't required to be there, but she never should have agreed to come if they really wanted to do these other trips, and if they're going to cancel, at least say something rather than a cold flight and hotel itinerary. That's sick actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking us instead of asking your sister what happened?

You could apply that to literally everything in this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no universe where sending flight and hotel information in the absence of anything else after it was agreed that the family would get together for the holidays is normal. You all are frickin' nuts to suggest that. It's not normal to bail on family plans in that manner. Obviously she isn't required to be there, but she never should have agreed to come if they really wanted to do these other trips, and if they're going to cancel, at least say something rather than a cold flight and hotel itinerary. That's sick actually.

My guess is she didn't actually say she'd come. She probably said "we'll talk it over," or "we'll think about it" or "we'll see if we can work it out to change our other plans" or something like that and then OPs family took it as gospel that they'll be there when sister made no such plan.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is married and her husband has a say in where they spend the holidays. My guess is that he does not like to be with your family. It could be something you do that actually annoys him or he could just be an ass.

Maybe you can find another time when you coukd suggest that just your sister visit. Then you can see if it is her or him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is married and her husband has a say in where they spend the holidays. My guess is that he does not like to be with your family. It could be something you do that actually annoys him or he could just be an ass.

Maybe you can find another time when you coukd suggest that just your sister visit. Then you can see if it is her or him.

This! Husband has a say how he wants to spend time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds just like my sister in law who it turned out was being terribly abused by her husband, who also didn’t want her seeing her family. You never know what goes on in people’s lives. It’s best not to assume you know their motivations.

I wish I could connect more with her. I really try. Most of you are telling me I’m being an asshole when I honestly just want to talk to my sister.

OP, you should read this article:https://medium.com/the-atlantic/dear-therapist-my-daughter-hasnt-wanted-a-relationship-with-me-for-25-years-a3f8b373fbd2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no universe where sending flight and hotel information in the absence of anything else after it was agreed that the family would get together for the holidays is normal. You all are frickin' nuts to suggest that. It's not normal to bail on family plans in that manner. Obviously she isn't required to be there, but she never should have agreed to come if they really wanted to do these other trips, and if they're going to cancel, at least say something rather than a cold flight and hotel itinerary. That's sick actually.

My guess is she didn't actually say she'd come. She probably said "we'll talk it over," or "we'll think about it" or "we'll see if we can work it out to change our other plans" or something like that and then OPs family took it as gospel that they'll be there when sister made no such plan.

No -- she absolutely said she'd come. I know you want to twist my words, but that is absolutely what she said.

[Anonymous]

Whoever posted that drivel from the Atlantic, has never had a an experience with a self centered sister. The fact that she goes every year means that holidays with the family are on her terms every single time. Dad will have to drop dead on the holiday before this sister’s plan can include a moments attention for him, but don’t plan on more than three days that one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever posted that drivel from the Atlantic, has never had a an experience with a self centered sister. The fact that she goes every year means that holidays with the family are on her terms every single time. Dad will have to drop dead on the holiday before this sister’s plan can include a moments attention for him, but don’t plan on more than three days that one time.

Then why expect anything different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever posted that drivel from the Atlantic, has never had a an experience with a self centered sister. The fact that she goes every year means that holidays with the family are on her terms every single time. Dad will have to drop dead on the holiday before this sister’s plan can include a moments attention for him, but don’t plan on more than three days that one time.

OP, you should get some therapy. I mean that sincerely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whoever posted that drivel from the Atlantic, has never had a an experience with a self centered sister. The fact that she goes every year means that holidays with the family are on her terms every single time. Dad will have to drop dead on the holiday before this sister’s plan can include a moments attention for him, but don’t plan on more than three days that one time.

OP, you should get some therapy. I mean that sincerely.

OP here. FWIW, I didn't post the above.

[Anonymous]

Is it truly unreasonable to request an adult child spend the holidays with family after a major medical event?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it truly unreasonable to request an adult child spend the holidays with family after a major medical event?

Apparently. And if you suggest otherwise, you’re apparently an asshole.