I'm amazed by all the "social engineering" on here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why an 11 or 12 year old should have an Instagram account. No way.

Just because you don’t like it or don’t allow it doesn’t mean there aren’t reasons. Its not nearly as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.

Yes it is.

You are definitely not doing your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I never noticed or cared until my kid’s social life until she was taking to the ER by police car after a suicide hotline call.
What I can’t understand is people who judge other parents when we are all just trying to get through this life the best we can. Raising kids and teens especially is really, really hard. it’s so hard to know what’s going on with them.

This times 1 million. I will call your tween girls on their cruel behavior every time. They are ugly mean girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Agree 100%.

I get a kick out of the “there is absolutely no reason to have a smartphone or social media! None!” people. How about communication? Social interaction? Keeping up with their friends? Watching videos for FUN (oh, the horror!)? My daughter uses hers as her alarm. And a phone to call her friends. And to text. And to check out her friends Instagram. And to look up fun art projects. And to binge watch Friends on Netflix.

You may not like the reasons, but that’s on you. There are plenty of reasons in this day and age to have a smartphone and social media. I just monitor my daughters phone when necessary and talk about stuff that comes up as needed.

How old is your daughter? At sixteen, maybe. At eleven and twelve? Unnecessary. My 12yo daughter has an actual alarm. She calls her friend on our landline which we got for that purpose. She creates art projects that she thinks up using her own imagination, and she watches Netflix on a real television. She doesn’t text except from my phone occasionally and she doesn’t look at her friends’ Instagrams which is good because they shouldn’t even have them.

Your reasons why your child needs a smartphone are ridiculous. She doesn’t.

Ha. Ok lady.

No, the lady is correct. Parents should not open up this world to elementary and middle school kids. Teens are a different story. If your elementary or middle school child needs a phone to call or text you, get them a flip phone. They don't need a smartphone. They don't need to watch videos on a phone, play games on a phone and they really really shouldn't be on social media much if at all at this age, and certainly not have access to that when they are not supervised.

For most, middle school goes to 14 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I never noticed or cared until my kid’s social life until she was taking to the ER by police car after a suicide hotline call.
What I can’t understand is people who judge other parents when we are all just trying to get through this life the best we can. Raising kids and teens especially is really, really hard. it’s so hard to know what’s going on with them.

This times 1 million. I will call your tween girls on their cruel behavior every time. They are ugly mean girls.

I agree there are mean girls. I don’t agree that making plans that do not include all is mean. That prohibits kids from spending time together in groups based on common activities. One reason I want my kid in a sport is bc of the positive peer pressure from it. The more she clicks with these girls, the more she will want to continue the sport. If she wants to trick of treat with just soccer friends (kids in drama, lacrosse, the kids she volunteered with last summer, etc), fine. It doesn’t make her mean.

And...had your kid gone, you’d be consoling her in a few hours when everyone was talking about something she couldn’t relate to and the girls “excluded her” by reminiscing. You’d be right there clucking your tongue about the “mean” girls. There ARE mean girls but this isn’t what this is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why an 11 or 12 year old should have an Instagram account. No way.

Just because you don’t like it or don’t allow it doesn’t mean there aren’t reasons. Its not nearly as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.

Yes it is.

You are definitely not doing your job.

I’m doing my job, I’m just doing it differently than you do yours. As much as you need to think your position is superior to mine, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I never noticed or cared until my kid’s social life until she was taking to the ER by police car after a suicide hotline call.
What I can’t understand is people who judge other parents when we are all just trying to get through this life the best we can. Raising kids and teens especially is really, really hard. it’s so hard to know what’s going on with them.

This times 1 million. I will call your tween girls on their cruel behavior every time. They are ugly mean girls.

I agree there are mean girls. I don’t agree that making plans that do not include all is mean. That prohibits kids from spending time together in groups based on common activities. One reason I want my kid in a sport is bc of the positive peer pressure from it. The more she clicks with these girls, the more she will want to continue the sport. If she wants to trick of treat with just soccer friends (kids in drama, lacrosse, the kids she volunteered with last summer, etc), fine. It doesn’t make her mean.

And...had your kid gone, you’d be consoling her in a few hours when everyone was talking about something she couldn’t relate to and the girls “excluded her” by reminiscing. You’d be right there clucking your tongue about the “mean” girls. There ARE mean girls but this isn’t what this is.

So you admit to social engineering

You purposefully put your child in the same activity over and over so she would form a friend group you liked and you could control who she hung out with by making sure if she was with that one group you discouraged her from mixing friend groups and excluding others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I never noticed or cared until my kid’s social life until she was taking to the ER by police car after a suicide hotline call.
What I can’t understand is people who judge other parents when we are all just trying to get through this life the best we can. Raising kids and teens especially is really, really hard. it’s so hard to know what’s going on with them.

This times 1 million. I will call your tween girls on their cruel behavior every time. They are ugly mean girls.

I agree there are mean girls. I don’t agree that making plans that do not include all is mean. That prohibits kids from spending time together in groups based on common activities. One reason I want my kid in a sport is bc of the positive peer pressure from it. The more she clicks with these girls, the more she will want to continue the sport. If she wants to trick of treat with just soccer friends (kids in drama, lacrosse, the kids she volunteered with last summer, etc), fine. It doesn’t make her mean.

And...had your kid gone, you’d be consoling her in a few hours when everyone was talking about something she couldn’t relate to and the girls “excluded her” by reminiscing. You’d be right there clucking your tongue about the “mean” girls. There ARE mean girls but this isn’t what this is.

So you admit to social engineering

You purposefully put your child in the same activity over and over so she would form a friend group you liked and you could control who she hung out with by making sure if she was with that one group you discouraged her from mixing friend groups and excluding others.

Man. Reading comprehension is not your thing.

DP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I never noticed or cared until my kid’s social life until she was taking to the ER by police car after a suicide hotline call.
What I can’t understand is people who judge other parents when we are all just trying to get through this life the best we can. Raising kids and teens especially is really, really hard. it’s so hard to know what’s going on with them.

This times 1 million. I will call your tween girls on their cruel behavior every time. They are ugly mean girls.

I agree there are mean girls. I don’t agree that making plans that do not include all is mean. That prohibits kids from spending time together in groups based on common activities. One reason I want my kid in a sport is bc of the positive peer pressure from it. The more she clicks with these girls, the more she will want to continue the sport. If she wants to trick of treat with just soccer friends (kids in drama, lacrosse, the kids she volunteered with last summer, etc), fine. It doesn’t make her mean.

And...had your kid gone, you’d be consoling her in a few hours when everyone was talking about something she couldn’t relate to and the girls “excluded her” by reminiscing. You’d be right there clucking your tongue about the “mean” girls. There ARE mean girls but this isn’t what this is.

So you admit to social engineering

You purposefully put your child in the same activity over and over so she would form a friend group you liked and you could control who she hung out with by making sure if she was with that one group you discouraged her from mixing friend groups and excluding others.

No, wrong. I simply said, “One reason I want my kid in a sport is bc of the positive peer pressure from it.“. I don’t pick my kid’s friends. You have issues. Sounds like you have a kid who has some social issues and you’ve taken it on to find fault and hate in everyone because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why an 11 or 12 year old should have an Instagram account. No way.

Just because you don’t like it or don’t allow it doesn’t mean there aren’t reasons. Its not nearly as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.

Yes it is.

You are definitely not doing your job.

I’m doing my job, I’m just doing it differently than you do yours. As much as you need to think your position is superior to mine, it’s not.

You are like a parent that is letting a toddler play by themselves in the median of a busy road. Got to learn how to cross the street safely sometime, right?

[Anonymous]

Well, yes, they do need to learn to cross the road.

They also need to learn how to use phones/internet etc responsibly.

Your kids and PP kids will both learn both things- you just disagree about a few years.

Relax, man. So uptight. It’s a slight difference between 11 and 14- or whatever

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no reason why an 11 or 12 year old should have an Instagram account. No way.

Just because you don’t like it or don’t allow it doesn’t mean there aren’t reasons. Its not nearly as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.

Yes it is.

You are definitely not doing your job.

I’m doing my job, I’m just doing it differently than you do yours. As much as you need to think your position is superior to mine, it’s not.

You are like a parent that is letting a toddler play by themselves in the median of a busy road. Got to learn how to cross the street safely sometime, right?

Yes! And I let them learn about safely handling sharp objects by stabbing them a couple of times. One trip to the ER and 56 stitches later, and my kid is a knife handling pro. You know me well, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up our parents did not care who you liked or did not like, you invited everybody and you did not leave somebody out. You got over it and learned to be a gracious host.

Yep. My parents let me learn to navigate life. They’ve passed, but I love them for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the parents stressing about their kids' social lives, agonizing about why they haven't been invited to this or that, writing tirades against the other parents for being "mean girls" and "social climbers" and assuming they are deliberately leaving your special snowflake out for Machiavellian reasons etc. etc. It utterly amazes me.

Have you ever thought that maybe the other kids just don't like your kid all that much and it's that simple? If you're on the periphery of a social group as it is, it's going to be "out of sight, out of mind" when you're not there. The simplest, kindest explanation is that the other kids are just not thinking to invite yours and you have to accept that.

Do you not remember what it's like to be this age? Friendships and their intensity change quickly at this age. I remember going through it myself and it would have been 1000% worse if I knew my mom was ruminating about it in her spare time instead of being benignly ignorant, as most tweens and teens hope for their parents to be about their social lives.

I know the parents writing these posts are going to say "well my kid doesn't know I am so stressed and worried about this" but I guarantee, if you are writing screeds about it on an anonymous message board, the emotion is apparent in your every day actions as well.

You sound like a real b!&@h.

Pretty sure if we knew your whole story we could come up with something to be super judgemental about with you. Not saying you don't have a valid point of view is SOME cases, but you sound a little too overinvested in why other parents may be overinvested. Your empathy is overwhelming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the parents stressing about their kids' social lives, agonizing about why they haven't been invited to this or that, writing tirades against the other parents for being "mean girls" and "social climbers" and assuming they are deliberately leaving your special snowflake out for Machiavellian reasons etc. etc. It utterly amazes me.

Have you ever thought that maybe the other kids just don't like your kid all that much and it's that simple? If you're on the periphery of a social group as it is, it's going to be "out of sight, out of mind" when you're not there. The simplest, kindest explanation is that the other kids are just not thinking to invite yours and you have to accept that.

Do you not remember what it's like to be this age? Friendships and their intensity change quickly at this age. I remember going through it myself and it would have been 1000% worse if I knew my mom was ruminating about it in her spare time instead of being benignly ignorant, as most tweens and teens hope for their parents to be about their social lives.

I know the parents writing these posts are going to say "well my kid doesn't know I am so stressed and worried about this" but I guarantee, if you are writing screeds about it on an anonymous message board, the emotion is apparent in your every day actions as well.

You sound like a real b!&@h.

Pretty sure if we knew your whole story we could come up with something to be super judgemental about with you. Not saying you don't have a valid point of view is SOME cases, but you sound a little too overinvested in why other parents may be overinvested. Your empathy is overwhelming

She doesn’t sound like a b!tch at all. She sounds pretty rational. And I think she’s right.

[Anonymous]

I just hopped on here to thank you and your kids for being kind to my kid. That is all.