SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally would say, “why would I work if I don’t need the money? YOLO.”

Because people most likely know that isn’t true.

I’m not sure what your background is, but this is true for many.

So why does your husband have to continue to work?

Unsurprisingly, the SAHMs responding here have very poor writing skills and/or don’t seem to speak English as a first language. Therefore - less options.

It’s fewer options, genius.

—SAHM

Ouch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, women tend to judge other women's life choices more than men. There seems to be judgment on all sides-judgment of working mothers, judgment of SAHM's and judgement of women who don't have kids. You can't win. Its sucks. Yet another area in life where it's easier to be a man...less judgment.

I don’t know about that. If a guy was SAHP with kids in school I think his guy friends would assume he would go back to work unless he said he was retired. My DH knows someone that retired from the military and he stayed at home with kids. I also have an uncle that retired, though he took on some part-time work and he did was Foch, troop leader etc with his son. had a kid later in life and his wife was a little younger.

[Anonymous]

I stay home and 2/3 children are in school. I feel most judged by my MIL and SIL. They ask at least once per year what I’m planning to do for work when my youngest starts school. They also love to ask what I do all day. I don’t want or need to go back to work. My time is best spent putting my efforts toward my children, husband, and home. We do not outsource anything.

We are all judged for one thing or another. I don’t let it bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stay home and 2/3 children are in school. I feel most judged by my MIL and SIL. They ask at least once per year what I’m planning to do for work when my youngest starts school. They also love to ask what I do all day. I don’t want or need to go back to work. My time is best spent putting my efforts toward my children, husband, and home. We do not outsource anything.

We are all judged for one thing or another. I don’t let it bother me.

You should get your DH to shut that down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, women tend to judge other women's life choices more than men. There seems to be judgment on all sides-judgment of working mothers, judgment of SAHM's and judgement of women who don't have kids. You can't win. Its sucks. Yet another area in life where it's easier to be a man...less judgment.

I don’t know about that. If a guy was SAHP with kids in school I think his guy friends would assume he would go back to work unless he said he was retired. My DH knows someone that retired from the military and he stayed at home with kids. I also have an uncle that retired, though he took on some part-time work and he did was Foch, troop leader etc with his son. had a kid later in life and his wife was a little younger.

My husband retired from the military at 38. Good for him.

[Anonymous]

God. The work I do for myself is far more meaningful than the corporation I worked for. It's sad we live in a culture that values money over absolutely everything: over friendship, family, humanism, activism, art and music, being happy or healthy. Some literally value this woman getting a meaningless job to earn pennies when she doesn't need it, even if it made her life shorter or her family more stressed. I hope that woman chokes on her sour grapes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God. The work I do for myself is far more meaningful than the corporation I worked for. It's sad we live in a culture that values money over absolutely everything: over friendship, family, humanism, activism, art and music, being happy or healthy. Some literally value this woman getting a meaningless job to earn pennies when she doesn't need it, even if it made her life shorter or her family more stressed. I hope that woman chokes on her sour grapes.

x1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out (Pilates, yoga, barre, and spin).

The days I do Pilates I generally take 2 classes - Pilates first, then spin.

I read a lot.

I meet people for lunch or coffee including my husbands and friends who work. We meet up during their breaks.

I do self care: hair and nail appointments. I have to get my roots touched up every 2 weeks.

I clean, do laundry, run errands, etc. so our weekends are totally free. We go skiing a lot in the winter and hiking in the summer in the Finger Lakes area (we live in upstate NY).

After school I run the kids around to their activities.

We have 4 kids so I’m pretty busy.

I want your life!

If laundry and nails are a life, sure.

I guess you missed the part where she said she has FOUR kids, a husband, a social life, and lots of hobbies

Four kids in school or out is a full time job! The amount of jealously is sad.

[Anonymous]

This thread sadly reemphasizes to me that SAHMs suck at life.

dropping out of the workforce...staying out of it for years...accepting a job with a long commute...quitting right away

Way to make terrible decisions!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out (Pilates, yoga, barre, and spin).

The days I do Pilates I generally take 2 classes - Pilates first, then spin.

I read a lot.

I meet people for lunch or coffee including my husbands and friends who work. We meet up during their breaks.

I do self care: hair and nail appointments. I have to get my roots touched up every 2 weeks.

I clean, do laundry, run errands, etc. so our weekends are totally free. We go skiing a lot in the winter and hiking in the summer in the Finger Lakes area (we live in upstate NY).

After school I run the kids around to their activities.

We have 4 kids so I’m pretty busy.

I want your life!

If laundry and nails are a life, sure.

I guess you missed the part where she said she has FOUR kids, a husband, a social life, and lots of hobbies

Four kids in school or out is a full time job! The amount of jealously is sad.

Don’t forget the roots - they HAVE to be done every 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God. The work I do for myself is far more meaningful than the corporation I worked for. It's sad we live in a culture that values money over absolutely everything: over friendship, family, humanism, activism, art and music, being happy or healthy. Some literally value this woman getting a meaningless job to earn pennies when she doesn't need it, even if it made her life shorter or her family more stressed. I hope that woman chokes on her sour grapes.

Yeah I don’t get this at all.

[Anonymous]

Weird to me that so many people value work this much. Most people I know either dislike their jobs, or like them but still look forward to retiring. We’ve been through every variation. I’ve worked. I’ve been a single working parent. I’ve had a SAH DH. I’ve been a SAHM. Each had pros and cons. Why do some of you care? Seems like you just want to feel superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job

NP here. I would not say anything on your face, PP, but I wonder why is that your family not meaningful to you? Why is being with them and nurturing them not the most meaningful, loving and fulfilling job you could ever do? If you think that only little kids need a full time mom then you are deluded and not really been involved in raising kids. You have outsourced raising your kids (if you have kids) and it was probably ok for your family. Older kids need you differently, but not less. But, that is a moot point - your family is not the most meaningful and time consuming thing for you - and that is your prerogative.

I find people who say or think like the PP above, very unenlightened.

OP, you have the most meaningful and wonderful job in the world. If you have the money to take care of your needs and some wants, then feel free to LIVE your life and spend time with your family.

Stay Blessed!

D

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread sadly reemphasizes to me that SAHMs suck at life.

dropping out of the workforce...staying out of it for years...accepting a job with a long commute...quitting right away

Way to make terrible decisions!!

No. It makes me realize SAHMs suck at working for other but excel at life. Especially those who have money and security. They live their best life. Of course, they are usually pretty well-educated and connected too - so they get the jobs easily too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell her that work was interfering with your sex life with your husband. Tell her you chose great sex over working, because who wouldn’t?

OMG. This is sooo true. My WOHM life meant no sex. My SAHM life means amazing sex and a much sweeter marriage.