SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I were both professionals with demanding jobs before my husband retired. He retired young from a government job, and we moved to a quieter area. He’s now working a job related to a hobby, and I’m currently staying home. It works for us, and I’m genuinely happy. I can honestly say that I’ve been asked the “when are you going back to work” and “what do you do all day” questions, but I’ve never felt outwardly judged before today.

An acquaintance basically told me that I need to ‘get it together and find a job, even if it does pay peanuts’. Although I never like to or feel the need to defend my choices to anyone, after I explained the ways my not currently working benefit our family, I was met with how ‘it must be terrible for my husband to buy his own Christmas and birthday gifts’. At the time, I was laughing inside, because what an odd response. But she persisted, and went on and on about the ways her working benefited her family, none of which are applicable to our situation. In the end, she rolled her eyes and changed the subject.

It was such an odd interaction. As someone who has been on both ends of the spectrum, I can see the motivation for both sides. I’d never judge, because I’ve been there. But I can’t wrap my head around this woman’s motivation for attacking me to my face. Anyone experience this before?

(Also, if you’re coming here to troll and bash SAHM, you needn’t respond. I will pass right by your comment and I encourage others to do the same.)

[Anonymous]

She sucks. Waste no more energy on her.

[Anonymous]

I would say you’re independently wealthy and no longer need to work. And that works for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sucks. Waste no more energy on her.

I know well enough to know this, but for some reason, it’s left me so deflated. But yes. She sucks.

[Anonymous]

Not a friend. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

No! I’ve never felt judged, and certainly haven’t been aggressively questioned. I’ve only gotten “lucky!” remarks.

But, this lady sounds horrible, obviously she’s a head case, avoid for sure. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

I would just say that people work for money and I’m doing great in that area. My time is too valuable to be spent working .

[Anonymous]

It's just one person. Should it happen again, never justify. You can just smile or say "okay" and change the conversation or "gotta go" and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say that people work for money and I’m doing great in that area. My time is too valuable to be spent working .

Oooh I like this one.

[Anonymous]

OP here again:

Honestly, I’m as equally appalled at this woman’s comments as I am that I’m letting them get to me. I can always count on DCUM to give it to me straight. I appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I always just do the “closed lip smile” and keep repeating “it works very well for us.” No one’s business I have generational wealth and a husband with a great job he loves and my interest stream alone pays more than any job I could get with my Masters degree. Tacky to even talk about money so I don’t.

[Anonymous]

It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.

The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sucks. Waste no more energy on her.

+1. Forget her, she’s awful!

[Anonymous]

She’s envious. End of story.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say it to your face but I agree with her.
- Independently wealthy and working in a meaningful job