What would happen if you denied spouse intimacy for years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious as to how long a marriage could last if a spouse was always denied.

If your spouse is a rude nasty slob who refused to fix the underlying relationship problems: indefinitely.

same here. no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with “much higher quality women”.

As soon as I read that, I shuddered. You sound gross.

Exactly. There's another story from his wife's point of view!

Maybe but instead of presenting her story, she pushed the Nuclear Destruct button. By her "announcing there would be no more sex" she simultaneously:
- rendered her point of view irrelevant
- ensured their imminent divorce
- opened the marriage for him to find sex elsewhere

Not at all. Either they work it out, or compromise. If not divorce. Cheating is what horrible people do, and chance bringing wackos into their lives.

There is no “working it out” or “compromise” if a wife cuts off sex. If she can’t handle the fact he is sleeping with the neighbor, well she should have just divorced him instead of “announcing there would be no more sex”. It was her decision to stay married, so deal with his solution to your problem.

He said “effectively announcing”, which could mean that:
1) the wife said I just don’t feel desire anymore now that I’m in menopause
2) the wife said the pill is really doing a number on me so I won’t have sex with you until you get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

If my spouse became obese with a big fat belly hanging over a pair of baggy cargo shorts I wouldn't care if I denied him intimacy. We all put on pounds over time but I have my limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Thats pretty sad you value sex over your family and marital vows.

It's pretty sad that she does not value her husband, relationship, or vows and expects him to accept her one-sided life decision.

Tell us why she should “value him”. What is he doing on the home front, with the kids, with her that is “value add?” Pay checks don’t count as character or behavior or action.

I don't know anything about the guy. He could be a perfect gentleman for all I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Most married women agree. This is not news! That is why most married men hit on all the women at work conferences, it’s why Ashley Madison has doubled in size *after* getting hacked, and there are Asian massage parlors on every corner. But once those kids hit college we can trade you in for a younger model who still knows how to fake it. As you said, it just is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious as to how long a marriage could last if a spouse was always denied.

If your spouse is a rude nasty slob who refused to fix the underlying relationship problems: indefinitely.

same here. no thanks.

+1 full stop. If you are gross, treat people badly, and a pig after getting married and having kids, then yeah, no one struggling through life with you wants you sexually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Their husbands, on the other hand, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Most married women agree. This is not news! That is why most married men hit on all the women at work conferences, it’s why Ashley Madison has doubled in size *after* getting hacked, and there are Asian massage parlors on every corner. But once those kids hit college we can trade you in for a younger model who still knows how to fake it. As you said, it just is what it is.

Hate to break it to you but WOMEN are the ones filing for divorce much more than men. Mainly because once the kids get older and are financially sound there's no reason to put up with a man's nonsense. They seldom find much younger women, only in the movies. If anything it's a big hit because they have to split the retirement etc. Women do much better than men after divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with “much higher quality women”.

As soon as I read that, I shuddered. You sound gross.

Exactly. There's another story from his wife's point of view!

Maybe but instead of presenting her story, she pushed the Nuclear Destruct button. By her "announcing there would be no more sex" she simultaneously:
- rendered her point of view irrelevant
- ensured their imminent divorce
- opened the marriage for him to find sex elsewhere

Not at all. Either they work it out, or compromise. If not divorce. Cheating is what horrible people do, and chance bringing wackos into their lives.

There is no “working it out” or “compromise” if a wife cuts off sex. If she can’t handle the fact he is sleeping with the neighbor, well she should have just divorced him instead of “announcing there would be no more sex”. It was her decision to stay married, so deal with his solution to your problem.

Ok there's no reasoning with you. Go ahead and tell your wife all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Most married women agree. This is not news! That is why most married men hit on all the women at work conferences, it’s why Ashley Madison has doubled in size *after* getting hacked, and there are Asian massage parlors on every corner. But once those kids hit college we can trade you in for a younger model who still knows how to fake it. As you said, it just is what it is.

Hate to break it to you but WOMEN are the ones filing for divorce much more than men. Mainly because once the kids get older and are financially sound there's no reason to put up with a man's nonsense. They seldom find much younger women, only in the movies. If anything it's a big hit because they have to split the retirement etc. Women do much better than men after divorce.

True, women file for the divorce. But false that men don't pair up with younger/hotter/thinner women. A 50yo dude with a good income will CLEAN UP on the dating market.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Most married women agree. This is not news! That is why most married men hit on all the women at work conferences, it’s why Ashley Madison has doubled in size *after* getting hacked, and there are Asian massage parlors on every corner. But once those kids hit college we can trade you in for a younger model who still knows how to fake it. As you said, it just is what it is.

Hate to break it to you but WOMEN are the ones filing for divorce much more than men. Mainly because once the kids get older and are financially sound there's no reason to put up with a man's nonsense. They seldom find much younger women, only in the movies. If anything it's a big hit because they have to split the retirement etc. Women do much better than men after divorce.

I have six divorced male friends, ages 54-65. Three have married again to much younger women (two of the three women are foreign, but all have solid careers). One of those couples has subsequently had two children.

The remaining two friends married again to women a few years younger, but those women were very successful professionals. The last friend has a girlfriend who is a professional woman near his age. She wants to get married but he won't.

All six friends are much better off financially than they were when they were married even though two of them still pay alimony. Of the six ex-wives, one is dead, one is a shut-in, and the remaining four are unmarried, unpartnered, poorer and generally worse-off than when they were married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you that 18 months after my wife effectively announced there would be no more sex, that I moved out and filed for divorce.

Life as a single man is much better. I have more sex, and with much higher quality women.

Did you ever ask you wife why? Why did she not feel like having sex with you? Or what the real issue was?

If you ask a woman why she doesn't want to have sex with you, you'll just get a big cloud of bullshit and then she'll start inventing "problems" that are the supposed reason for her not wanting sex. The typical desperate, frustrated husband will start trying to "fix" these "problems" - but whenever you fix one, she'll invent a new one. He's like a cat chasing the red dot, he never catches it.

99% of the time the real problem is:
1. You (her husband) are not attractive
2. She is attracted to someone else
3. Both of the above

She's not going to tell you either of those things. She expects you to just figure it out.

As a man, you can fix problem #1. Sometimes, but not always, that also fixes problem #2. If it doesn't, at least you've done what you need to do to prepare for your next woman.

Eh, I think you are too cynical. I love my DH, he's handsome but I have no real desire to have sex with him. We do it sometimes and I may enjoy it but if it never happened it's fine with me. Not all women are hot dogs like men and after a while my DH is a handsome roommate, not like a passionate lover. It just is what it is. Many married women agree

Most married women agree. This is not news! That is why most married men hit on all the women at work conferences, it’s why Ashley Madison has doubled in size *after* getting hacked, and there are Asian massage parlors on every corner. But once those kids hit college we can trade you in for a younger model who still knows how to fake it. As you said, it just is what it is.

Hate to break it to you but WOMEN are the ones filing for divorce much more than men. Mainly because once the kids get older and are financially sound there's no reason to put up with a man's nonsense. They seldom find much younger women, only in the movies. If anything it's a big hit because they have to split the retirement etc. Women do much better than men after divorce.

Man here - wrong. If a 45 year old guy with a career gets divorced he splits the assets and has child support but he has a solid income for another 15-20 years. If his wife was a SAHM she gets half the assets but doesn’t have long term earning power equal to her ex.

[Anonymous]

Plus he can work even harder at his career because he doesn’t have those pesky responsibilities like raising children or maintaining a big house and years or paying attention to a wife!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus he can work even harder at his career because he doesn’t have those pesky responsibilities like raising children or maintaining a big house and years or paying attention to a wife!

If he had participated in parenting and paid attention to his wife, she probably wouldn’t have asked for the divorce in the first place.