What would happen if you denied spouse intimacy for years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He would become a horrible person to live with and there would maybe be an affair and definitely a divorce, proceeded by lots of fighting.

Why do you have to become miserable and fight. Grow up and just leave like a normal person.

[Anonymous]

Dw here. It would lead to divorce if DH chose to stop having sex with me. We have an active sex life and it's part of what makes our marriage great (the intimacy and connecting). If DH just decided no more sex, that would signal a major issue is going on in our marriage which would probably lead to divorce.

Now obviously the answers are different if it's a medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the Poster upstream: if a true medical reason, I would stay. If just a lack of desire, I would go. How long? One year, at most, assuming I have had the multiple conversations with spouse about what the problem was and what I could do to fix it.

This is an issue in our marriage although our frequency is 1-2x a month. After about 2-3 weeks without, I become more and more disconnected. I can't imagine what 6 months is like, let alone years.

If I became disabled, and couldn't participate in sexual intimacy, I would grant my spouse the permission to find it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would become a horrible person to live with and there would maybe be an affair and definitely a divorce, proceeded by lots of fighting.

Why do you have to become miserable and fight. Grow up and just leave like a normal person.

HE would starting fighting/pouting, etc. after day 7. BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would become a horrible person to live with and there would maybe be an affair and definitely a divorce, proceeded by lots of fighting.

Why do you have to become miserable and fight. Grow up and just leave like a normal person.

HE would starting fighting/pouting, etc. after day 7. BTDT.

My condolences. Find a real man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would become a horrible person to live with and there would maybe be an affair and definitely a divorce, proceeded by lots of fighting.

Why do you have to become miserable and fight. Grow up and just leave like a normal person.

HE would starting fighting/pouting, etc. after day 7. BTDT.

My condolences. Find a real man.

A real man enjoys not being intimate with his wife, barring a medical situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dw here. It would lead to divorce if DH chose to stop having sex with me. We have an active sex life and it's part of what makes our marriage great (the intimacy and connecting). If DH just decided no more sex, that would signal a major issue is going on in our marriage which would probably lead to divorce.

Now obviously the answers are different if it's a medical issue.

I agree with you. We are at the 30 year mark and if it suddenly stopped for a reason other than health it would raise big issues. I’m a very willing participant and we are intimate about 2 times a week. If we went a month and he turned me down I would want to know why. If it continued for a couple of more months I would assume we have a big problem and/or he’s finding it elsewhere. I’m very happy that right now we are both doing our best to meet each other’s needs as well as keeping it fresh and fun.

[Anonymous]

I've been denied for 3 years. We will be divorced soon. Would have left 2.5 years ago if not for kids.

[Anonymous]

8:28 - 4 months is not that bad, and you have a good reason. Give yourself a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the reason. The lack of intimacy is more of a symptom. If it's caused by selfishness and lack of affection, then the marriage should probably end. If there is a medical cause, then you can get by with masturbation and porn.

I think this important. It's not a personal rejection if the reason is medical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously it will differ by couple.
A couple who both have a low need for sex might last a lifetime.
Another couple might have an open marriage and focus on children, business, or even politics together.
In a third marriage, a health issue for one spouse might be tolerated because of an overriding love and met with fidelity.

I no longer think frequent sex is a sign of a healthy marriage. I know too many women who hate their DH and are still sleeping together 3+ times a week.

All very true, especially the bolded.

Sex doesn't carry nor make a marriage good. Many other things take precedence.

[Anonymous]

My wife would get it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He would become a horrible person to live with and there would maybe be an affair and definitely a divorce, proceeded by lots of fighting.

Why do you have to become miserable and fight. Grow up and just leave like a normal person.

HE would starting fighting/pouting, etc. after day 7. BTDT.

My condolences. Find a real man.

Wow that pp needs to leave asap. That's no way to live, it's abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife would get it elsewhere.

She already is!

[Anonymous]

It wouldn’t take years for me to pull the plug if we were both healthy. My husband would like to have sex 3-4 times a week and I’m very happy and willing 1-2 times a week. I’d really wonder if we went more than a month.