How terrible will it be to be away from my 1 year old daughter at Christmas? I am regretting things

[Anonymous]

Leave the plan as is. Stop guilting your wife. I think it’s telling that you think she can easily take leave without pay. Maybe after maternity leave your wife doesn’t want to risk the ding to her professional rep by taking more time off (paid or not). And being in a “fun” group house with a toddler sounds totally unfun. Plus, your plan is set, which means your wife and her family are now looking forward to their local plan-making. Stop trying to guilt your wife because of the plan you committed to.

[Anonymous]

OP back again. Thanks to all the cool posters who said our plan is fine and probably for the best. Yeah, I will just leave it as is. At this point, it would be very expensive to be on the exact same flights there and back anyway.

Now I'll respond to some of the haters....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny to see the last few responses of piling on

We are fine with how things are planned and are not going to get divorced

Douche. She will divorce you. Nobody can ne with a man child for long.

lol. "man child" - you sound like you are divorced and bitter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you're not Christian and that most of the posters on this thread are Christian. Christmas really isn't that big of a deal to other cultures/religions.

I am Christian

Not a good one.

Thanks. You have proof that we celebrate Christmas on the exact "correct" day? No, of course you don't. But we had to agree on one day to have the holiday, take off work, get together, and so on, so we did as a society.

My family will celebrate Christmas together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. Thanks to all the cool posters who said our plan is fine and probably for the best. Yeah, I will just leave it as is. At this point, it would be very expensive to be on the exact same flights there and back anyway.

Now I'll respond to some of the haters....

I think this is a troll... surely nobody is this childish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have here a person
1. doesn't know how to take care of his baby
2. Has no clue what to pack when traveling with the baby
3. Asks questions how hard can it be to travel with the baby
4. Thinks his wife should sacrifice to be with him and his family on Christmas
5. Given 4 he will not help a single thought to helping his wife take care of the said baby on this trip
6. Who e-mails his wife instead of talking to her about going on this trip
7. His wife is a smart cookie, she will have her dd with HER family(as OP clearly doesn't count) and while it will be embarrassing that her husband and the father of her child has his priorities messed up, she will come out looking like a sunshine and her parents are most likely getting her and the baby a nice place to stay long term.

1. Yes I do. 2/3. Never done it - learning. 4. No. 5. No. 6. She was at work. 7. This one doesn't even make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty telling that the wife doesn't have the leave to go on this trip without pain but the husband does.

I wonder who takes leave when the baby is sick or daycare is closed.

I wonder how the answer to that reflects the distribution of responsibility for parenting in that family.

We share it 50/50. Her work's maternity leave wasn't great, so she used some of her vacation days to be able to stay home longer with the baby. Blame her employer and our society for not mandating more guaranteed maternity leave, not me. In Canada, most women are off of work for one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. Thanks to all the cool posters who said our plan is fine and probably for the best. Yeah, I will just leave it as is. At this point, it would be very expensive to be on the exact same flights there and back anyway.

Now I'll respond to some of the haters....

I think this is a troll... surely nobody is this childish?

If I wanted to troll, I would pick a scenario with a bit more sizzle than this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take your wife and baby! I think you'll all regret not being together, particularly at a big family gathering where all will be keen to meet your daughter. We started traveling overseas when our DD was 1 and it's really not so bad.

+1 I would say it's far easier to travel with a baby than with kids age 1.5+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are nuts. OP hasn't said his wife has any problems with the plan. I have no idea why you all assume she's upset - I would be fine with this. The OP's question was more along the line of whether he should try to push for his wife and daughter to come because he'll miss them (consensus - no). But he has not indicated that his wife has asked him or even hinted that she wants him to skip the reunion.

That's right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take your wife and baby! I think you'll all regret not being together, particularly at a big family gathering where all will be keen to meet your daughter. We started traveling overseas when our DD was 1 and it's really not so bad.

+1 I would say it's far easier to travel with a baby than with kids age 1.5+.

She will see how our plane travel goes next month with an 8 month old and maybe reconsider it, but I won't be the first one to bring up the subject, especially since some people said a 13 month old is much tougher when they want to move/crawl/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just keep your plan the way it is. You’ll be able to spend a wonderful holiday with your extended family without having to accommodate a baby’s needs and schedule. Your wife can relax at home with the baby and celebrate Christmas with her family. You can Skype every day.

+1 and I am DW.
I would totally prefer to spend Christmas with my baby and parents rather than traveling abroad with 1 y.o. to see ILs or staying home with unhappy DH.
Have to add that we are atheists and Christmas is just another holiday.

+one more. I would much rather stay home and note deal with airports and planes with 1 yr old... think flue season, that would suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are nuts. OP hasn't said his wife has any problems with the plan. I have no idea why you all assume she's upset - I would be fine with this. The OP's question was more along the line of whether he should try to push for his wife and daughter to come because he'll miss them (consensus - no). But he has not indicated that his wife has asked him or even hinted that she wants him to skip the reunion.

That's right.

I don't believe for a second that this woman is totally cool solo parenting her baby for a week at Christmas while her husband travels to see his own family. Do you know ANYONE who would be cool with that? Can you IMAGINE the other way around? The wife going to see her family at Christmas and leaving DH/baby home?? Inconceivable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume you're not Christian and that most of the posters on this thread are Christian. Christmas really isn't that big of a deal to other cultures/religions.

I am Christian

Not a good one.

And neither are you.

Didn't Jesus teach you to love all men & not be judgmental of one another?

Are you undermining your lord by taking judgment into your own hands?
Seems you're probably the one he's disappointed with now, not the OP.

The hypocrisy is REAL with this Judas, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are nuts. OP hasn't said his wife has any problems with the plan. I have no idea why you all assume she's upset - I would be fine with this. The OP's question was more along the line of whether he should try to push for his wife and daughter to come because he'll miss them (consensus - no). But he has not indicated that his wife has asked him or even hinted that she wants him to skip the reunion.

That's right.

I don't believe for a second that this woman is totally cool solo parenting her baby for a week at Christmas while her husband travels to see his own family. Do you know ANYONE who would be cool with that? Can you IMAGINE the other way around? The wife going to see her family at Christmas and leaving DH/baby home?? Inconceivable.

DP. That’s because you’re small-minded and have a limited social circle. Feel sorry for you.