About to blow my top with my D's university.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People here are such mindless drones.

My DH actually ended up getting his graduate degree from an Ivy before he got his undergrad diploma.

His undergrad teacher at a big name school was denied tenure and screwed him over on a paper grade. So my DH did walk the stage, then right into a job in his field. He never lied on his resume about a degree, just said he went there. 20 years later he went to the Ivy on a fellowship. When he was done he called his alma mater, told them about his Ivy league degree, and they accepted transfer credits fro. There to finally give him his bachelor's!

Again, white male -- as good as a degree.

Irrelevant. Get over it.

Us non white and not males have to deal every minute of our lives.

[Anonymous]

This is what you paid $$$$$ for and this is a top university....
America sure is going downhill.

[Anonymous]

I still don't get why OP is mad at D's college. What did they do? or didn't do that they are responsible for??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why OP is mad at D's college. What did they do? or didn't do that they are responsible for??

Right. Even if they notified the DD "hey you didn't graduate," it wouldn't solve the problem that her employer thinks she did and now she has to decide whether and how to finish her coursework. I won't speculate on what she will do, but she seems irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

OP, your follow-up post seems to have backed down a bit. I posted previously about online grading, and I hope you realize that your daughter was playing you a bit here - she knew about her grade and almost certainly understood what it meant for her graduation status. And she used the 'decorating my apartment' thing as a ploy to let you discover the news and help her find a way out of it. She probably figured that you'd blame the university first and foremost, a not-altogether-surprising reaction given the fact that you probably paid $200-300k for that piece of paper she's still lacking.

If this was my kid, I'd want her to know that I knew exactly what was up. Because next time she gets into some deep trouble, you want her to do the adult thing and admit her responsibility. And yes, ask for help if she needs that too, directly rather than using some silly gambit to avoid her own culpability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP! I'm so sorry for all of the nasty comments. I don't know if your daughter knew or not about the grade, my instincts says that she may have. However, at this moment that isn't as important. You daughter has enough on her plate without you accusing her of anything. At this time, she needs your love and guidance to get through this. After this situaion is resolved, just reiterate to her that you love her and she can ALWAYS tell you anything.

Lots of solutions were already offered in this thread, follow up on those. Please disregard the negative ones. They do not know your daughter and a simple mistake doesnot make her a bad person. It seems that people have forgotten what it 's like to be young and in college. Also, getting a "D" does not make her an idiot. They are just some classes where the material just doesn't sink in. I can remember being overjoyed at getting a "C" and I fanatic about getting good grades. That "C" was like an "A" to me.

Remember mistakes can be made by the college. During my DS senior year, I kept on asking him if he's on point to graduate. He said yes, he had already spoken to his advisor; he even had the papers where she had wrote that he was on track. I nagged his so much that he went back to see her again. Fortunately, she was out and he had to see someone
else. Yep, he was missing a class. Thank goodness this all happened in the fall semester and he was able to take the class during the spring.

OP! Good luck! Continue to assist your daughter in correcting this situation. Please don't tell your husband, because in the grand scheme of things, this is just a blip on
the radar.

What if Op's daughter beat out other job candidates who actually do have degrees? What if the position she was hired for requires a college degree? She doesn't have a degree which would have made her an unqualified candidate for the position. This is not just an "oops, teehee, look how I goofed!" thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP! I'm so sorry for all of the nasty comments. I don't know if your daughter knew or not about the grade, my instincts says that she may have. However, at this moment that isn't as important. You daughter has enough on her plate without you accusing her of anything. At this time, she needs your love and guidance to get through this. After this situaion is resolved, just reiterate to her that you love her and she can ALWAYS tell you anything.

Lots of solutions were already offered in this thread, follow up on those. Please disregard the negative ones. They do not know your daughter and a simple mistake doesnot make her a bad person. It seems that people have forgotten what it 's like to be young and in college. Also, getting a "D" does not make her an idiot. They are just some classes where the material just doesn't sink in. I can remember being overjoyed at getting a "C" and I fanatic about getting good grades. That "C" was like an "A" to me.

Remember mistakes can be made by the college. During my DS senior year, I kept on asking him if he's on point to graduate. He said yes, he had already spoken to his advisor; he even had the papers where she had wrote that he was on track. I nagged his so much that he went back to see her again. Fortunately, she was out and he had to see someone
else. Yep, he was missing a class. Thank goodness this all happened in the fall semester and he was able to take the class during the spring.

OP! Good luck! Continue to assist your daughter in correcting this situation. Please don't tell your husband, because in the grand scheme of things, this is just a blip on
the radar.

What if Op's daughter beat out other job candidates who actually do have degrees? What if the position she was hired for requires a college degree? She doesn't have a degree which would have made her an unqualified candidate for the position. This is not just an "oops, teehee, look how I goofed!" thing.

If it was a condition of her employment that she be a college grad and she was hired on that basis, every day that goes by that she doesn't tell them the truth she is engaging in fraud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your follow-up post seems to have backed down a bit. I posted previously about online grading, and I hope you realize that your daughter was playing you a bit here - she knew about her grade and almost certainly understood what it meant for her graduation status. And she used the 'decorating my apartment' thing as a ploy to let you discover the news and help her find a way out of it. She probably figured that you'd blame the university first and foremost, a not-altogether-surprising reaction given the fact that you probably paid $200-300k for that piece of paper she's still lacking.

If this was my kid, I'd want her to know that I knew exactly what was up. Because next time she gets into some deep trouble, you want her to do the adult thing and admit her responsibility. And yes, ask for help if she needs that too, directly rather than using some silly gambit to avoid her own culpability.

All it's going to take is one alumni from that college either coming to work at her place of employment or doing business with her company to find out that she is not listed in the alumni network.

Better to be honest about this sort of thing than it would be to found out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what you paid $$$$$ for and this is a top university....
America sure is going downhill.

+1.

China and India are graduating millions of incredible engineers and scientists a year, and instead we have built a pipeline for entitlement and stupidity.

[Anonymous]

Here would be my response as a professor (which I am, so this is what I actually say":

"Dear Larla,

This situation sounds very upsetting, and it is unfortunate that the "D" in ECON 356 kept you from graduating. I have reviewed your grades, however, and everything was graded according to the policies laid out in the Syllabus. [Here, i would include the bullets of what led to her "D," whether it was individual assignment grades, missed assignments, bombing the final, etc..].

According to our university's policy on Arbitrary and Capricious Grading (insert link here), every student in the class must be graded on the same basis. This means that if I impose late penalties on any students I must impose them on all students. I am also unable to "forgive" assignments or offer extra credit to a single student in the class without offering the same to everyone. This policy is meant to ensure fairness and to prevent both favoritism and retaliation.

However, I also understand that this a single course that would lead to a significant burden on your part to retake. If you feel that your circumstances should receive special consideration from the university, or that I applied grading or other policies unfairly, you can appeal your grade to [the department chair or dean depending on the school]. Her email address is [e-mail]. I can promise that she will take your concerns seriously and help you reach a solution."

And then if the dean comes back and says "let her retake the final," or whatever, I would do so, and no one else in the class could accuse me of unfairness under university policy.

It is also possible that something didn't get entered into the gradebook, so wasn't included in her final grade. This is why you must always check your grades! Humans make mistakes in data entry, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this anyone’s fault but your daughters? She must have majorly bombed that class to get a D.

How did she bomb if she passed the course?

? To me a "D" is majorly bombing - you may disagree. But in this context it was bad enough to deny her a diploma - so it had a real bad outcome, didn't i?

Holy crap, yes. I was distraught when I got a C; a D would have been horrific. Also, it's pretty widely known (at least I thought it was) that while a D is "passing" and may result in getting overall credits, it is insufficient for getting "credit" towards a major.

It wasn’t like this at university

What school? It is at my kid's college.

And in grad school, you typically need a "B" for it to count. But grades in grad school are different, and even a "B" would be sending you a message. I am not including professional schools in this, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say that something similar happened to my friend at an Ivy. She had already had a job (which she received in March so the verification process happened pre-graduation). She never told the employer and she’s still there 7 years later. She never graduated.

Not a risk I would take but it’s working for some people!

Your friend risks a future employer checking her resume credentials and finding out she does not have the degree she claims to have. It can derail her career and tar her as a liar (even if the fault actually was with the college somehow). If she is shrugging and depending on the belief that no employer will ever ask her Ivy to confirm her degree, she's got her head in the sand. I would bet that seven years after college she figures that her work experience is all that matters now. She's wrong. I used to work for an HR organization and know that some employers would have to reject a candidate who claimed a degree that the candidate's college said wasn't granted, even if the employer liked the candidate. Some employers wouldn't care and some would be understanding if the issue was a single class credit. But many would consider this a problem with the candidate's honesty.

Same thing happened to a friend of a friend. He never told employer he didn’t graduate. Years into the job, employer found out. they took away his clients and demoted him.

[Anonymous]

An oldie, but it still applies.

[Anonymous]

My BIL had enough credit to graduate, but never paid overdue library fines so they withheld his diploma. He managed to get away with being employed for a long, long time, but once he ran into other issues with his employer, they used the graduation thing to fire him. Though, he keeps finding jobs fine (mechanical engineer) so either he's pulling the same fast one with other employers or they just don't care.

[Anonymous]

First, as a parent, OP is entitled to feel upset. But the final buck stops with OP's DD.


OP states that the school dropped the ball because it the school failed to inform her that she doesn't have the enough credits to graduate. However, I feel like the final responsibility lies on DD's shoulder on several fronts, and the school needing to inform DD about the situation should be something that DD should have already known well in advance. DD should have at least:
1.) knew where her standing was in term of the grade for that class. Assuming this is unlike law school where a single exam determines your grade, she should have had an understanding that the possibility of getting a D over the course of the semester.
2.) knew that getting a D means she would not get full credit for that class.
3.) knew that she needed full credit for that class to graduate.
4.) been proactively checking her status.

The college experience, and this situation for sure, is meant to train DD to be on top of her life skills (such as paying taxes, applying for her own credit cards, paying for bills, etc.). Hope DD learns her lesson.