S/o I dislike dining with “introverts” and people who have nothing to say

[Anonymous]

OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

[Anonymous]

She may be anxious pp. I have anxiety and the more questions people throw at me the more anxious I become and clam up. It has nothing specifically to do with the other person. Once I met you a few times, I will start to loosen up and say more.

Grew up in a very judgemental loud family and it's scarred me for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

Maybe she's afraid to say anything that would reflect negatively on her boyfriend. Work-related socializing is a minefield. It's not easy for spouses/girlfriends, especially if you've been raised to be guarded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

Maybe she's afraid to say anything that would reflect negatively on her boyfriend. Work-related socializing is a minefield. It's not easy for spouses/girlfriends, especially if you've been raised to be guarded.

... or maybe she was like, “who is this person asking me question after question?!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

Maybe she's afraid to say anything that would reflect negatively on her boyfriend. Work-related socializing is a minefield. It's not easy for spouses/girlfriends, especially if you've been raised to be guarded.

... or maybe she was like, “who is this person asking me question after question?!”

Right. Maybe she just found PP incredibly intrusive and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are all introverts so judgmental? Are the judgments what is really filling your head? No wonder you are exhausted!

Not necessarily. But they generally think before they speak . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you directly inviting her into the conversation? Or are you just talking, talking, talking?

I'm on the introvert/extrovert border. I can carry a conversation when others seem more shy/reserved/uncomfortable. I can speak to a room full of people, easily, without nerves.

But sometimes, it's hard to get a word in, and after a few attempts, I sit back and let the big personalities go to it. They interrupt me, and each other. On nights like that, I set the example by not interrupting others or dominating the conversation. Some big talkers ask a question and answer it themselves! It is SO annoying and rude.

If you make an effort, and they still clam up, that's one thing. But if you don't give others a chance to speak, you're the boor-ing one, even if they are boring.

This. I'm introverted in that big gatherings exhaust me, but I love conversation with one or a few close friends. But the big personalities who just talk, talk, talk I find draining. Why would I try to insert myself in whatever they're saying? They don't listen to me anyway.

You said there were three others, OP, and I have totally been in that situation where the three others just talk and interrupt, etc., as PP noted. So, yeah, I probably wouldn't say much in that case because there seems little point.

+1

I love you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Introverts are boring.

I am an introvert. I loathe people like you. Would rather be kayaking or biking or f’cking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

Maybe she voted Trump and you are an obvious NaSocialist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

Maybe she's afraid to say anything that would reflect negatively on her boyfriend. Work-related socializing is a minefield. It's not easy for spouses/girlfriends, especially if you've been raised to be guarded.

... or maybe she was like, “who is this person asking me question after question?!”

I imagine they both disliked each other and the experience equally. Shame that PP feels they have to spend time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Introverts are boring.

I am an introvert. I loathe people like you. Would rather be kayaking or biking or f’cking.

I am with you. Hate small talk with idiots

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an introvert and I'll talk your ear off if I like you and find you interesting.

Same. If I'm not saying anything it's because I find the conversation tedious. Or I've been with extroverts all day and am burned out at the constant attention-seeking behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP wrote in an aggressive way but I just had this experience with an ‘introvert.’ I asked her question after question in an attempt to make an engaging conversation and she never reciprocate or carried the conversation anywhere. It was exhausting and boring and I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. I don’t know if she’s a snob or a bitch or just dull as a white wall but unfortunately she’s the girlfriend of my husband’s coworker, so forced socializing it is...

I can't stand people like you. If you get bored after asking few questions, I don't care about you. If you ask me stupid meaningless questions, don't expect me to engage with you in a conversation. I see your stupidity through and I am not going to spend my time or energy to answer your stupid questions. I could see how hard you are trying to be a social butterfly and how unnatural you are at it. It is very entertaining to watch you. You also very insecure if you see me as a snob, or a bitch, or whatever that doesnt' fit into your cookie cutter girlfriend's image.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dare you, OP, to be silent (listening) for a half hour of a conversation between 3 extroverts (and remember everything that was said) and then try to get a word in edgewise without interrupting or talking louder. You don't realize it, but extroverts can be very controlling and don't actually care to share the airspace. In my experience, people that are good talkers make poor listeners. There are also nonverbal things they do like directing their bodies towards certain people to nonverbally exclude the more introverted people.

Ok. So this has been my experience too. But then I have also been told that I put the “burden” of conversation on other people. And the OP talks about working hard to keep the conversation going. I don’t get it. How can both of these things be true at the same time? If it feels like a burden, why not set it down sometimes?

I will admit, I have never found a conversation to be a burden. Either it flows easily or I don’t really engage and find some other way to occupy myself. Do a lot of extroverts feel a lot of pressure to keep up the small talk?

[Anonymous]

If someone is talking about something I have no interest in, like movies I haven't seen, then I will have nothing to say. Extroverts can be talking a lot but saying little (lots of hot air like "Oh WOW!" ..."That's wonderful".... "It REALLY is."...). I don't want to parrot back what someone else just said but with more syrupy adjectives, extra adverbs, and intonation in my voice. It just seems phony to me and I can't physically muster the energy to talk like that.

Talking is like public speaking. You are supposed to know your audience. Does OP even know much about this person or what she is interested in?