Elite privates and social dynamics for a fat mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry, you can dis the skinny moms after their husbands divorce them and they lose their social standing.

+1 and you get to watch these SAHMs become real estate agents.

lol, this is really funny and SO true.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't worry, you can dis the skinny moms after their husbands divorce them and they lose their social standing.

+1 and you get to watch these SAHMs become real estate agents.

lol, this is really funny and SO true.

+2

+3 (and thanks above poster for letting me know you could do more than just post the traditional +1. I had no idea )

[Anonymous]

It's been said in here but I agree with those who suggest that... 95% of us are very busy and don't have the time to stop and chat up new faces around the school (there are many each year at schools with new admitees). If we do seem to talk with some people but not others it's probably because we are talking with our neighbors or a parent who's also on our kid's soccer team, etc. Nothing against you! We are busy! Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry that your child and you are experiencing this. At my son's private school, I experienced this myself. It was quite hurtful because my son wanted to play with his friends outside of school. For me, it was just blatant racism, I believe. I'm African American. I'm a kind, friendly person, and the children in my son's class love me. I guess they do because I volunteer a lot. Anyway, things changed when a Jewish couple came to the school and started inviting our son for play dates. So, our family and two other families get together about once a month, and it's positive for the children and the adults.

People who have not experienced this type of alienation may not notice or understand. I hope those who exclude others will think about the example they are setting for their own children. It can start them on a path of becoming mean-spirited human beings.

OP, hang in there. If things don't improve this year, start thinking of better school communities for your DC and you.

Good luck!

I'm not sure what school your child goes to in DC, but I know parents are kept out of things, and racism does exist. I can't speak about being prejudiced against overweight moms or dads, but I've seen women in our school slight the few Latino families or blacks and not think much of it. The exceptions are the very wealthy ones who are included, so class is an issue. I'm guilty because I haven't done anything to change it. Because of this thread, I'm going to speak with our head about how we can be a more inclusive school community. We talk about diversity in admissions, but what happens once diverse families come?

For the OP, it's a different type of exclusion, but it shouldn't be this way. Again, I feel like we as fellow parents could be more inclusive but choose not to be. Parents and school leadership should take the lead to change this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry that your child and you are experiencing this. At my son's private school, I experienced this myself. It was quite hurtful because my son wanted to play with his friends outside of school. For me, it was just blatant racism, I believe. I'm African American. I'm a kind, friendly person, and the children in my son's class love me. I guess they do because I volunteer a lot. Anyway, things changed when a Jewish couple came to the school and started inviting our son for play dates. So, our family and two other families get together about once a month, and it's positive for the children and the adults.

People who have not experienced this type of alienation may not notice or understand. I hope those who exclude others will think about the example they are setting for their own children. It can start them on a path of becoming mean-spirited human beings.

OP, hang in there. If things don't improve this year, start thinking of better school communities for your DC and you.

Good luck!

I'm not sure what school your child goes to in DC, but I know parents are kept out of things, and racism does exist. I can't speak about being prejudiced against overweight moms or dads, but I've seen women in our school slight the few Latino families or blacks and not think much of it. The exceptions are the very wealthy ones who are included, so class is an issue. I'm guilty because I haven't done anything to change it. Because of this thread, I'm going to speak with our head about how we can be a more inclusive school community. We talk about diversity in admissions, but what happens once diverse families come?

For the OP, it's a different type of exclusion, but it shouldn't be this way. Again, I feel like we as fellow parents could be more inclusive but choose not to be. Parents and school leadership should take the lead to change this.

Jeez. Run to the principal to complain? Really is like high school all over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry that your child and you are experiencing this. At my son's private school, I experienced this myself. It was quite hurtful because my son wanted to play with his friends outside of school. For me, it was just blatant racism, I believe. I'm African American. I'm a kind, friendly person, and the children in my son's class love me. I guess they do because I volunteer a lot. Anyway, things changed when a Jewish couple came to the school and started inviting our son for play dates. So, our family and two other families get together about once a month, and it's positive for the children and the adults.

People who have not experienced this type of alienation may not notice or understand. [u]I hope those who exclude others will think about the example they are setting for their own children. It can start them on a path of becoming mean-spirited human beings.

OP, hang in there. If things don't improve this year, start thinking of better school communities for your DC and you.

Good luck!

THIS. x10000

Most of the pp have not experienced this so they just don't believe it exists instead of realizing it does.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge overlap between the private school set and the country club set. The latter is almost utterly devoid of fat people. So why the surprise that Op is feeling left out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It's been said in here but I agree with those who suggest that... 95% of us are very busy and don't have the time to stop and chat up new faces around the school (there are many each year at schools with new admitees). If we do seem to talk with some people but not others it's probably because we are talking with our neighbors or a parent who's also on our kid's soccer team, etc. Nothing against you! We are busy! Sorry!

[/

There's a difference between chatting up all the new families and being welcoming to the new moms in your kid's class. The moms who are "too busy" to talk to new people do contribute to a sense of cliquishness.

[Anonymous]

It is one thing to shun someone b/c of their race, color, or creed. That is despicable. You cannot criticize someone for how God molded them. Being fat is another thing entirely. It suggests slovenly, yield to temptation, undisciplined behavior. Who wants to associate with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge overlap between the private school set and the country club set. The latter is almost utterly devoid of fat people. So why the surprise that Op is feeling left out?

fwiw: OP, perhaps you are bound to feel more self conscious about your weight in a place like NW , DC because, statistically speaking , it is an area of the country with the lowest rates of obesity and cardio-vascular disease in the US. Most people would regard those as positive health indicators and not feel resentful.

http://stateofobesity.org/states/dc/[/url]


These health stats are largely result of life long health habits. You might have noticed that NW DC in general has a high concentration of over achievers ( not just lots of joggers, but every one seems to be training for a marathon or , at minimum, a fund raiser 10K )

You criticize blonde women for being shallow based on what you infer from their looks and the fact that they have not sought you out. May I suggest that for a smart, educated capable person such as yourself, you take a look at the stats in the below link and think about some of the women and children in DC who's obesity may actually be causing more than a psychological complex. Perhaps you can do something to help people.

http://www.americashealthrankings.org/DC[url]

Many of my friends do charity fund raising to help with homelessness , teen pregnancy and protecting women's access to birth control. Oooops , a couple of them are blonde and thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge overlap between the private school set and the country club set. The latter is almost utterly devoid of fat people. So why the surprise that Op is feeling left out?

fwiw: OP, perhaps you are bound to feel more self conscious about your weight in a place like NW , DC because, statistically speaking , it is an area of the country with the lowest rates of obesity and cardio-vascular disease in the US. Most people would regard those as positive health indicators and not feel resentful.

http://stateofobesity.org/states/dc/[/url]


These health stats are largely result of life long health habits. You might have noticed that NW DC in general has a high concentration of over achievers ( not just lots of joggers, but every one seems to be training for a marathon or , at minimum, a fund raiser 10K )

You criticize blonde women for being shallow based on what you infer from their looks and the fact that they have not sought you out. May I suggest that for a smart, educated capable person such as yourself, you take a look at the stats in the below link and think about some of the women and children in DC who's obesity may actually be causing more than a psychological complex. Perhaps you can do something to help people.

http://www.americashealthrankings.org/DC[url]

Many of my friends do charity fund raising to help with homelessness , teen pregnancy and protecting women's access to birth control. Oooops , a couple of them are blonde and thin.

PP, if you read this thread carefully, you'll find that OP never says anything about "thin blond" people, except to say that people shouldn't make judgments about them based on looks either.

From the immediate PP, you can clearly see the fat-shaming attitude many people in the DC area hold. If you're fat, it's a defect of character, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is one thing to shun someone b/c of their race, color, or creed. That is despicable. You cannot criticize someone for how God molded them. Being fat is another thing entirely. It suggests slovenly, yield to temptation, undisciplined behavior. Who wants to associate with that?

Actually, PP, I think you are pretty despicable.

[Anonymous]

Some of the name calling on DCUM is brutal. That's all I can say. Am I living in a bubble?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of the name calling on DCUM is brutal. That's all I can say. Am I living in a bubble?

The beauty (or is it ugliness) is that people can say what they are really thinking. Hate to burst your bubble...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry that your child and you are experiencing this. At my son's private school, I experienced this myself. It was quite hurtful because my son wanted to play with his friends outside of school. For me, it was just blatant racism, I believe. I'm African American. I'm a kind, friendly person, and the children in my son's class love me. I guess they do because I volunteer a lot. Anyway, things changed when a Jewish couple came to the school and started inviting our son for play dates. So, our family and two other families get together about once a month, and it's positive for the children and the adults.

People who have not experienced this type of alienation may not notice or understand. I hope those who exclude others will think about the example they are setting for their own children. It can start them on a path of becoming mean-spirited human beings.

OP, hang in there. If things don't improve this year, start thinking of better school communities for your DC and you.

Good luck!

I'm not sure what school your child goes to in DC, but I know parents are kept out of things, and racism does exist. I can't speak about being prejudiced against overweight moms or dads, but I've seen women in our school slight the few Latino families or blacks and not think much of it. The exceptions are the very wealthy ones who are included, so class is an issue. I'm guilty because I haven't done anything to change it. Because of this thread, I'm going to speak with our head about how we can be a more inclusive school community. We talk about diversity in admissions, but what happens once diverse families come?

For the OP, it's a different type of exclusion, but it shouldn't be this way. Again, I feel like we as fellow parents could be more inclusive but choose not to be. Parents and school leadership should take the lead to change this.

Can I ask why you wouldn't just make a point to introduce yourself to these families, ask for their contact information so that you can reach out to have them over to get to know them better versus going to the principal?

It seems like the first step would be to actually do what you are saying you would like to report that no one else is doing and do it en masse.

From your initial dinner party you can add them to your list of people you invite to all your social events and introduce them to your social circle.