I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wanted to fuck the other guy and in the end you don't really care for your husband. I hate it when people use alcohol as a crutch and blame "being really waisted" for their character flaws...For your husband's sake, I hope he finds out and leaves you slut!

I totally agree. Whether or not someone carries a few extra pounds around the waist does not make them flawed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wanted to fuck the other guy and in the end you don't really care for your husband. I hate it when people use alcohol as a crutch and blame "being really waisted" for their character flaws...For your husband's sake, I hope he finds out and leaves you slut!

This seems to me a little unfair. Good people sometimes do bad things. OP sounds like a decent person who was unable to resist temptation in a relatively unusual setting that relaxes inhibitions for many. If I were her DH, I could see forgiving her for the indiscretion, but it would be very hard to get past the ongoing deception.

[Anonymous]

Fear is a relationship killer. That fight or flight response causes more chaotic consequences and results in more crushing chain reactions than any other emotion.
OP is scared. Scared of losing her husband. Scared of losing her marriage. Scared of the repercussions that will rain down upon her head for her mistake. She's scared and her instincts along with 10 pages of people giving advice have her ready to run as fast as she can toward cover-up and denial - but she won't escape. Can't escape fear. Can't escape fear. Can't escape fear.
Face it OP.
Open up to your husband and face your fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've done it. I didn't tell my man. I didn't feel guilty. It didn't affect my lust for or my love for my man. I had forgotten how good it felt to seduce a stranger and just walk away in the night with a smile on my face.

Hot and of course because you are a woman you can get laid any time you want.

Yes, men are easy, for which i am thankful, otherwise i would not have met my man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people are saying not to tell the husband. He definitely needs to know when she returns, not by a phone call. He's her spouse and only he can make the decision to forgive with all of the information at hand. He needs to know this about his wife and choose to still love her, warts and all.

As long as she doesn't spread the warts, it's gonna be ok. Hopefully they were both clean.

[Anonymous]

I'm a DH and I wouldn't want to know. As long as our marriage is fine and it's not an ongoing affair, I'm good with it (not knowing about it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've done it. I didn't tell my man. I didn't feel guilty. It didn't affect my lust for or my love for my man. I had forgotten how good it felt to seduce a stranger and just walk away in the night with a smile on my face.

Hot and of course because you are a woman you can get laid any time you want.

Yes, men are easy, for which i am thankful, otherwise i would not have met my man!

Man=thinks with penis=no wonder I have so many problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Currently on a business trip overseas. Last night I got incredibly drunk and slept with a colleague. He is a foreign affiliate and I only see him twice a year. I do not have feelings for him. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. I have never ever cheated on my husband and I am just so devastated. I don't know what to do. Should I call my husband? I feel so sick over this. My husband is a good man and we have a good marriage. I would do anything to take it back. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer me advice? Please help.

I haven't read this entire thread, sorry if I'm repeating a question. Was the sex better then with husband - did he last longer, was his penis bigger, did he move better, was oral better, etc?

The reason why I ask is as a husband that would determine for me whether there would be any hope in saving my marriage. Most men aren't like me though, once the trust is broken that's it.

But I would be willing to consider moving forward if I could establish with my wife that there is no chance it would ever happen again AND the sex with the guy had not been better than what I put on her.

I might not care if the oral was better, that's not a male competition thing to me since even women can do that to women, but if the intercourse outperformed me that would be bothersome.

The catch is I can't imagine a woman admitting she cheated AND ALSO admitting the sex was better. That would be taking honesty too far under the circumstances if she has any hope in saving the marriage.

[Anonymous]

When a man finds out his wife cheated on him, divorce is the only option. Painful, but true.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, WAS the sex better? I mean, if you are going to go thru all this trouble, you'd at least think the juice was worth the squeeze.

Ultimate failure = bad sex and all this crap to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a husband.
Ongoing lie is far worse than getting laid.

Nobody has asked , but is your religious practice strong on the repentance/forgiveness angle?

If my wife came to me with such a tale, complete with remorse and the resolve not to repeat, both my upbringing and my love for her would make forgiveness the natural response.

64, married 32 years

[Anonymous]

This is DCUM. You are female. Because you cheated and say it was a mistake, it obviously was and your husband should just "man up" about it.

Whatever. You are the same piece of shit men are called out for being when they cheat for whatever reason. You should tell your husband only because he has a right to know you could be infecting him right now. Or, hopefully you'll get a nice heart attack or stroke from the immense pangs of guilt for hiding it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow if this was a man who was the OP the responses would be SO DIFFERENT. Interesting.

-Signed a Married Woman

Exactly. People would be talking to him like he's a piece of trash. Because a woman cheated, "mistakes happen."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When a man finds out his wife cheated on him, divorce is the only option. Painful, but true.

Not true. Of all the men I've ever know who had a wife cheat on them, not one of them got divorced. I think over the years I've met three or four.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've done it. I didn't tell my man. I didn't feel guilty. It didn't affect my lust for or my love for my man. I had forgotten how good it felt to seduce a stranger and just walk away in the night with a smile on my face.

I believe the lack of guilt and cheating with a smile makes you a sociopath.