Found 2 movie tickets on bf, should I approach him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you someone who has a history of feeling jealous in relationships without good cause? Is snooping something you tend to do because you have a hard time trusting your partner for whatever reason? If not, then trust your gut.
I think it's okay to be open with him about what you're feeling in relation to what you found - this can be done in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory way. "Honey, I have to admit that I haven't quite been able to shake the feeling I had when I saw those movie tickets. I'm not usually like this and you have given me zero reason not to trust you but it's weighing on me a bit...can we have one more conversation about it and put it to bed?" And then decide whether or not you want to trust him, drop it and move on.
Or if you are comfortable dropping it for now then just keep your eyes and ears open, as PP said. It sounds like he has given you no other reason to think he is lying and sneaking around. And it's hard to imagine he would take another woman out on a real "date" when you are so thoroughly integrated into his life - if he wanted a piece of a$$ he probably wouldn't be taking her to a romantic movie.
And yet, his story is weird, no doubt.

OP here. Lol, yes, weird story. You have given me two great options! I think that I will let it rest. Most of my stuff is over his place, I know every person in his life and this is the only red flag. I am sooooo not a snooper. I would never look at his accounts, phone, email etc. I used to be jealous but for very good causes. I think that has me worried sometimes now but this man puts me at ease.

[Anonymous]

You may know everyone in his life, but that doesn't mean he isn't dating on the side. His friends and family may not know, or they may not feel it's their place to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Or he could be dating one of his friends who doesn't mnd hiding it from you.

[Anonymous]

His excuse is dumb. You're ignoring your gut. Very odd of him to accuse you of snooping in response to a question about movie tickets on his dresser.

I'd mention to the roommates you're interested in seeing the movie and ask if they've seen it and how it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you someone who has a history of feeling jealous in relationships without good cause? Is snooping something you tend to do because you have a hard time trusting your partner for whatever reason? If not, then trust your gut.
I think it's okay to be open with him about what you're feeling in relation to what you found - this can be done in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory way. "Honey, I have to admit that I haven't quite been able to shake the feeling I had when I saw those movie tickets. I'm not usually like this and you have given me zero reason not to trust you but it's weighing on me a bit...can we have one more conversation about it and put it to bed?" And then decide whether or not you want to trust him, drop it and move on.
Or if you are comfortable dropping it for now then just keep your eyes and ears open, as PP said. It sounds like he has given you no other reason to think he is lying and sneaking around. And it's hard to imagine he would take another woman out on a real "date" when you are so thoroughly integrated into his life - if he wanted a piece of a$$ he probably wouldn't be taking her to a romantic movie.
And yet, his story is weird, no doubt.

OP here. Lol, yes, weird story. You have given me two great options! I think that I will let it rest. Most of my stuff is over his place, I know every person in his life and this is the only red flag. I am sooooo not a snooper. I would never look at his accounts, phone, email etc. I used to be jealous but for very good causes. I think that has me worried sometimes now but this man puts me at ease.

Yeah that's what I thought too honey. Doesn't mean a damn thing. Same thing with your stuff over at his place. Geez you think all the married cheaters bring their side piece home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I like to think that I am mature. If I was immature, I would have slashed his tires upon seeing two movie tickets on his dresser..... anyways, I really do not want to talk to the roommates or bring them into this. They are both great friends of his and really cool guys. I won't check bank accounts or anything like that. As far as my jealous ways, that a previous poster asked about, in every other relationship, I would get jealous but with him, I am not. I am so comfortable and confident within our relationship. He hugs female friends, calls female friends, text them, etc. With any other guy, I would hate it, but not with him. I know he loves me. I never seen him upset before. This was the first time. Our first "fight." He said he was upset because I waited to bring it up, and should have communicated it early on, instead, he saw that something was bothering me. He also was upset that I was "snooping." I still can not see not marrying him (which will be in the future, people), or breaking up with him over movie tickets.

OP, have you ever talked about prior relationships? Do you know why his ended? If he's had decent relationships before, he's probably got one with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you someone who has a history of feeling jealous in relationships without good cause? Is snooping something you tend to do because you have a hard time trusting your partner for whatever reason? If not, then trust your gut.
I think it's okay to be open with him about what you're feeling in relation to what you found - this can be done in a non-confrontational, non-accusatory way. "Honey, I have to admit that I haven't quite been able to shake the feeling I had when I saw those movie tickets. I'm not usually like this and you have given me zero reason not to trust you but it's weighing on me a bit...can we have one more conversation about it and put it to bed?" And then decide whether or not you want to trust him, drop it and move on.
Or if you are comfortable dropping it for now then just keep your eyes and ears open, as PP said. It sounds like he has given you no other reason to think he is lying and sneaking around. And it's hard to imagine he would take another woman out on a real "date" when you are so thoroughly integrated into his life - if he wanted a piece of a$$ he probably wouldn't be taking her to a romantic movie.
And yet, his story is weird, no doubt.

OP here. Lol, yes, weird story. You have given me two great options! I think that I will let it rest. Most of my stuff is over his place, I know every person in his life and this is the only red flag. I am sooooo not a snooper. I would never look at his accounts, phone, email etc. I used to be jealous but for very good causes. I think that has me worried sometimes now but this man puts me at ease.

Yeah that's what I thought too honey. Doesn't mean a damn thing. Same thing with your stuff over at his place. Geez you think all the married cheaters bring their side piece home?

Here's a story for you. A few years ago I was married. My DH knew everyone in my life, hung out with my guy friends, and felt pretty good about us. I had caught him cheating with an ex girlfriend and was vindictive and decided to give it right back. I started hooking up with a good friend of mine. Every Tuesday I'd go to a friends house for a weekly get together we did and me and the guy would leave after dinner and go back to his place. I kept it well hid for about a year before I messed up. The guy was a smoker and left an empty cigarette pack in my car. My friends all smoke the same cigarettes I did, with the exception of the guy I was sleeping with and his best friend. DH asked when the guy had been in my car and I told him he had run it up to his shop for me to check a noise (guy is a mechanic, which was the cover of why we talked so much). DH asked the guy about it next time we saw him, something like "Hey, what do you think about Sarah's car? Time to give in and get a new one?" and of course the guy covered it. That cigarette pack was the only trace I ever left and when I left DH he still had no idea. He didn't know til a year after we were separated and divorced.

You could go fishing with the roommate, but there's a good chance he's been told to cover for your BF. You are better off keeping track of things like him going incognito (I would not answer texts while with my other), changing in his spending habits (two GFs and twice the dates), and any other little changes. One of my biggest tellers for my DH cheating was the smell of his clothes. He'd wear a hoodie at night that smelled like Tide. He used an undcented detergent himself, so the Tide smell stuck out. He'd left it at her house and she'd washed it for him.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may know everyone in his life, but that doesn't mean he isn't dating on the side. His friends and family may not know, or they may not feel it's their place to tell you.

Right. When my ex cheated on me, the women all knew about me. He told them not to call during certain times when I would be there and they were complicit, for the most part. I believe you found those stubs for a reason.

[Anonymous]

I think you should show your BF this post so he can see why you're so conflicted. For every person who says it's no big deal, there are two people who say you're a fool for believing him. Personally, I'm in the 'it's likely nothing' camp. As a PP said, when you have roommates, shit finds its way all over the place and it's odd he'd take a piece of ass to a romantic movie. But, then again, I've not been cheated on (that I know of) and I haven't cheated.

[Anonymous]

No offense to all the CSI wannabes, but OP, if your BF is/was cheating, you would have NEVER seen those movie tickets. Men can be pretty stupid, sometimes are careless and even sometimes want to be caught. But cheating men usually do not leave obvious signs where they live - especially if he knows you will be in and out of there. And if he did, you need to leave him anyways because he is an idiot.

Also, I can see him being pissed about the way you approached him. I agreee with him that you should have asked him right when you saw them. Instead you thought about and came up with every negative scenario before approaching him. Yea, if my DH saw something and waiting days to say something, I would also think that IS snoop-ish.

GL