Found 2 movie tickets on bf, should I approach him?

[Anonymous]

OP -- you are right. Wait until you are calm so you can really gauge his reaction. If you are too confrontational, he'll get defensive.

Don't let him turn this on you by calling you crazy jealous or anything. If he denies it, use the facts. You saw the movie tickets. He never mentioned seeing it. He said he was napping during the time he saw the movie.

Either way, I wouldn't move in with him until you are sure he is honest.

Stay strong. You deserve a guy who doesn't cheat. You really, really do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Ok, so I did what a previous poster said and checked past text. At that time frame, he went missing. I texted him, are you taking a nap? And he replied an hour later saying yes. I'm beyond pissed right now. I want to confront but is feel like I'm too mad to do that right now. I don't know what to say or how to approach this. I doubt anything good will come from this.

PP here. I'm sorry, OP - doesn't sound good but I still recommend you get it out there and find out the truth so you can take the next step without any regret or second-guessing...even if you end dumping the guy.

[Anonymous]

I'd ask, face to face, so you can see if he's lying.

[Anonymous]

Don't bring up the tickets. You need to act like you want to see the movie, and see if he responds…then you need to say "You're lying," and see how he responds. Don't back down. See how he spins his lie…see what a good or bad lier he is. Then after he's spun his own trap, you bring out the tickets.
All calmly.

Hopefully it won't go that way but OP you need to see NOW if he's a lier or not.

I did this with an ex-boyfriend I also thought I was going to marry. Knowing he could look me right in the eyes and lie--it turned me off. Made it much easier.

Sorry, OP, but you might have just dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

I think she should just say she saw the tickets and ask who he went with. Why all the subterfuge?

[Anonymous]

What if he says Ok, let's go to the movie and doesn't admit he already saw it? She should be direct.

[Anonymous]

My recommendation is to be direct, as well. None of this pretending you want to see the movie bullshit.

I am so sorry you're dealing with this. If it does turn out that he was on a date with someone else, please don't give him any second chances. You deserve so much better than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she should just say she saw the tickets and ask who he went with. Why all the subterfuge?

+1! OP, act like a grownup. Say: BF I found two tix to "About Last Night" for President's Day, so who went to see it with you?

Once you're satisfied with your answer, tell him of the phone call about the nap.

Be prepared for very bad news. If he's going out with someone else, then napping, you have to ask him why. Once you get his response, you have to ask yourself where you go from here. To another BF may be your answer.

[Anonymous]

I am all for strait talk but this might be an excellent opportunity for a young woman considering marriage.

Ask him the question.."did you see About Last Night?" or something else about that evening that you already know and see if he tells you the truth.
If he lies through his teeth, you will have learned something very important about the man you are considering marrying.
Better to know right now than 10 years and a few kids later...

The only explanation that I may have fallen for would be that he spent ran into an ex or someone from work etc. and in his contemplation about marriage just wanted to see how he felt. So he went on this (innocent) date to see how he felt and realized that OP is the one for him. If this is the case, then ok, maybe.

But he has to come clean. And even still, OP, consider carefully here.

[Anonymous]

Yes, being frank is always better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am all for strait talk but this might be an excellent opportunity for a young woman considering marriage.

Ask him the question.."did you see About Last Night?" or something else about that evening that you already know and see if he tells you the truth.
If he lies through his teeth, you will have learned something very important about the man you are considering marrying.
Better to know right now than 10 years and a few kids later...

The only explanation that I may have fallen for would be that he spent ran into an ex or someone from work etc. and in his contemplation about marriage just wanted to see how he felt. So he went on this (innocent) date to see how he felt and realized that OP is the one for him. If this is the case, then ok, maybe.

But he has to come clean. And even still, OP, consider carefully here.

Um, sorry, no. There is no reason to be on a date while seriously dating someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all for strait talk but this might be an excellent opportunity for a young woman considering marriage.

Ask him the question.."did you see About Last Night?" or something else about that evening that you already know and see if he tells you the truth.
If he lies through his teeth, you will have learned something very important about the man you are considering marrying.
Better to know right now than 10 years and a few kids later...

The only explanation that I may have fallen for would be that he spent ran into an ex or someone from work etc. and in his contemplation about marriage just wanted to see how he felt. So he went on this (innocent) date to see how he felt and realized that OP is the one for him. If this is the case, then ok, maybe.

But he has to come clean. And even still, OP, consider carefully here.

Um, sorry, no. There is no reason to be on a date while seriously dating someone else.

+1! OP, you're still very, very young with lots of other prospects. If you don't believe his answers, DTMFA and get right back out into the dating world. Don't learn the self-hating habit of dealing with men you don't trust. There are single men all over the DMV. Set yourself free to find a man you can trust.

[Anonymous]

Are you dating a young Jack Ryan who may be on his way to Moscow?

[Anonymous]

All those people telling you to be honest have obviously never dealt with a cheater, OP. Of course he's going to lie. The question is will you know he is lying. If you just say - hey I'd like to see this movie and he doesn't mention seeing it then you know he is lying. If you say I see you went to this movie and he says my Great Aunt Ida was in town but she's in the Witness Protection Program so I couldn't tell you you may very well believe him, because believing that he was cheating sucks.

[Anonymous]

How old is OP??