Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Be prepared to be a deep wallet

When my BIL was 35-36, he didn’t want an older woman because he wanted kids. He ended up getting engaged to someone in her late twenties. They are now 30 and 40 and getting married.

Hope he enjoys his SAH future wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Be prepared to be a deep wallet

PP here. I made my money in Bitcoin, so I can take care of my young wife and our offsprings. I call that "options".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go the sperm bank and do it yourself.

+1

The 3 single woman I know as single parents really struggle. They struggle financially, they struggle with exhaustion etc.

[Anonymous]

Watch Indian matchmaker on Netflix (not sure the exact name of the show). It is about a matchmaker for arranged marriages for people who are Indian.

It is interesting her take on how marriage comes first then love. As long as you are around 60% compatible and you have shared values and goals and can comprise, the marriage will be successful. Two people are never going to be 100% compatible. After you marry every year you become more bonded and love grows as you raise a family together.

I think with social media it is even harder today for women to get over this idea that they are settling. There are way too many pictures a few women repeatedly post who seem deeply in love with their husbands. Most of the people I know who post all these pictures of the happy couple life end up divorced or are not really that happy.

[Anonymous]

Have a baby on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:35 is too old dangerous for the baby

No. It is not. Try 45+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Jesus why would you even date a man you don’t want to sleep with ? Imagine in marriage he would want sex daily and you will grow to hate him and will become frigid yourself. Why do you waste time ? Date around find somone you are enjoying in bed and who has a similar goal in life

Plenty of people get married and don’t want to sleep with that person. I did. He did. It lasted a decade: 7 years without sex.

[Anonymous]

I think most people settle in some ways in marriage. But no, I would not have a child with someone I didn't love or at least like a whole lot because it means having them in your life forever. You will deal with their values, how they want to raise kids and their family. I wouldn't have wanted to go through the first year of raising a kid with someone I wasn't thrilled with. But if you mean settling on some things that were less than important dealbreakers when you were more immature, yes, it probably works. But you should like and respect that person and they should do the same for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

Child support is not much unless he's a celebrity of makes over 500K. Not worth it the pain of being forever tethered in parenting to a complete strangerb

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Dont worry, plenty of women don't want yo get involved woth men over 40 either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Be prepared to be a deep wallet

PP here. I made my money in Bitcoin, so I can take care of my young wife and our offsprings. I call that "options".

Not every woman can be bought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Jesus why would you even date a man you don’t want to sleep with ? Imagine in marriage he would want sex daily and you will grow to hate him and will become frigid yourself. Why do you waste time ? Date around find somone you are enjoying in bed and who has a similar goal in life

Plenty of people get married and don’t want to sleep with that person. I did. He did. It lasted a decade: 7 years without sex.

You did. He did. Now substantiate “plenty” with evidence.

Also 7 years without sex - meaning, he wasn’t having sex with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Most women raise the child alone - if you are married, odds are you are caring for your child and your husband. Why risk the extra burden? This is especially risky given you are already asking about settling.

NP. Plenty of men are present and active parents. Women should have higher standards for men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really depends how attractive you are.

I’m 48 now so know of some old maids who never got married. They are not very attractive. They may not be ugly but probably average at best. Maybe if they dressed better, groomed better, they would be more attractive.

So if you are a 5 and say you are settling for another 5, that is different than if you are a 9 and settling for a 3.

I think my cousin settled. She was super smart and very tall. Because she was so tall, she could not go for an average man or they would not go for her. She ended up marrying an ugly classmate. My cousin was a 7-8. This guy was probably a 1 face and shorter than her. He was smart and successful. They had one kid and now divorced. She would have been better off forever single.

does your partner enjoy your personality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Dont worry, plenty of women don't want yo get involved woth men over 40 either.

Yea, 40s msn is ancient for late 20s women. Unless they are blinded by the bitcoin revenues