Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

Freezing eggs is expensive and there's a chance I might need a few cycles. I'm considering it but not sure if I'll proceed with it.

Single motherhood is out of question. I don't want to raise a child alone.

In case you're wondering, I'm not looking for Henry Cavill. I just want someone I enjoy spending time with and have chemistry with even if that person isn't physically attractive by objective standards. I'm currently dating a guy that I like talking to but I'm not too keen on the idea of sleeping with him. I was in a long term relationship with someone I really liked around. This relationship ended 4 years ago because of incompatibilities around work.

Most women raise the child alone - if you are married, odds are you are caring for your child and your husband. Why risk the extra burden? This is especially risky given you are already asking about settling.

[Anonymous]

It’s very dangerous to settle and marry a man you are not interested in sexually. This is a bare minimum: he needs to bring income and be desired by you. Without income no point to marry (you can pull it off yourself with the child, most men don’t do much at home anyway). Without sex he’ll grow to resent you, you risk having a toxic divorce and then extremely oppositional coparent .

[Anonymous]

To add to the above post - maybe identify the dealbreaker items and what you can live with. It’s all individual: to me I must want him sexually, bedroom should be great. Also he needs to bring as much disposable income as myself for marriage to make sense.
I can settle on height, educational level (many people without degrees are street smart as long as they are not from a trashy family); age difference; face.

[Anonymous]

Never settle on integrity and intellect, everything else is personal preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many don't want to settle at first but by the time they are ready to settle, options are even worse.

What'a the point of dating and marrying someone you're not attracted?

You find more attractive and attracted partners while y'all are young and high on hormones from 15-35.

[Anonymous]

The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

Child support is not much unless he's a celebrity of makes over 500K. Not worth it the pain of being forever tethered in parenting to a complete strangerb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

It wouldn't be a failed relationship from the perspective of the pregnant woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

This is so selfish on every level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

This is so selfish on every level.

Men can always use condoms

[Anonymous]

As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

It wouldn't be a failed relationship from the perspective of the pregnant woman.

The child is all that matters and this is not responsible family planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Be prepared to be a deep wallet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40-year-old man, I have no interest in getting involved with anyone over the age of 35.

Be prepared to be a deep wallet

When my BIL was 35-36, he didn’t want an older woman because he wanted kids. He ended up getting engaged to someone in her late twenties. They are now 30 and 40 and getting married.