Anonymous wrote:Division of labor has recently become an issue in our marriage. Before losing my mind, I want unbiased opinions on whether either spouse has a legitimate gripe. I've tried to be fair in putting together a list of each spouse's responsibilities to see if either of us are overreacting. Neither of us seems to feel like our contributions are appreciated.
Are we both stuck in our own silo. Is this a fair division of labor or does either Spouse A or B have the right to complain? Are there any areas I may be missing? Any recommendations to minimize the headbutting. For context we have two elementary aged kids (3rd and 5th grade).
SPOUSE A
* Works in office 5 days a week; contributes one-fourth of household income
* Responsible for managing family calendar to include scheduling kids activities, camps, etc.
* Does the holiday gift shopping
* Prepares the weekly grocery list for grocery store pickup
* Washing and folding of kids laundry
* Schedules house cleaners (they aren't on regular schedule)
* Shops for kids clothes
* Prepares school lunches
* Picks up kids from school
* Shuttles kids to evening activities with occasional help from spouse
* Responsible for daily dinners every other week (mostly cooks packaged meals like frozen dinners)
* Coaches/leads two kids sports/activities
SPOUSE B
* Works in office 2-3 days per week with great flexibility; contributes 3/4 of HHI
* Responsible for family finances including budgeting, retirement planning, bill pay
* Plans family vacations/trips
* Responsible for house and yard maintenance and upkeep including planning and coordination of contractors for large projects and hands-on work for routine maintenance and repairs
* Picks up and puts up groceries
* Cleans house in between cleaners visits to include vacuuming/mopping, bathrooms, dusting
* Packs school lunches and feeds kids breakfast
* Drops off kids at school and is the primary at-home parent (watches kids on no-school days, picks up kids when sick or early dismissals)
* Primary shuttle for kids weekend activities with occasional help from spouse
* Responsible for daily dinners every other week (mostly cooks from scratch meals)
* Coaches/leads two kids sports/activities
Spouse B would be better off with a supportive and happy SAHP.
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