If DH just informed wants divorce…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

VA public schools do require it and most DC privates for sure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

OP, do not listen to this person. My brother's attorney said the exact opposite. He filed, although he didn't want to, because he wanted to prevent the kids from moving with his ex. Please talk to an attorney ASAP!

Yes, If OP files first and indicates that marital home is the kids' primary home and residency, STBX would have to prove in court otherwise and submit a motion to protest it.
There is indeed a risk that he may move kids to a state that has no strong enforcement over enrollment kids into schools or has different "residency" requirements for custody disputes. Which is why filing first would shift the burden of proof and discovery to him, making life easier for OP and the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: If mom files for divorce, does that change alimony issues? In other words, if she's a full time mom, and she files first, does that let him off the hook for alimony? Perhaps that's his goal with his threats to take the kids out of state.

Who files has nothing to do with alimony. Most people don’t get alimony anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

There has to be a factual basis for these allegations or else OP will end up losing the motion and paying her husband's attorneys fees for a bad faith filing.

All the husband ever said is he is leaving her and wants to take the kids for part of the summer. He didn't threaten her. He didn't threaten them.

What? No. You don’t need to prove anything to get a temporary custody order. He said he wants to divorce, wants to take the kids out of state, and wants to move. That’s more than enough to get a temporary order that requires the other parent’s consent for out of state visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

VA public schools do require it and most DC privates for sure

No they don’t. APS only requires one parent or guardian. Privates probably require it because both parents are financially liable for tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)?

DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

Nope.

Not allowed. Unclear why he would do that so abruptly to such young children. Take them away from the other parent for “a long period of time”?

That’s not how kicking off a separation or divorce works.

Tell him that (a) HE needs to file, then (b) you both will work out temp/separation custody plans and temp child support, until you mediate everything else.
Until that happens the young children stay in their current home and do their current day cares, camps, routine, sports and short already planned vacations.

Also once HE files, someone also needs to freeze the assets (all bank and trading accounts) and then they get split in half during separation. They may get further divied up later.

You can't make him file and it's not just up to you that any of that happens. The way you get that is by filing yourself.

No kids solo long vacation unless he files and you work out temp custody for the year.

It’s that simple.

She can't force him to file, and she can't prevent him from taking the kids without an order. So, she needs to file.

Right now, OP's STBX can legally take the kids anywhere in the US, and keep them there until OP files to get them back.

You meant to say: "Right now the children's father can legally take the kids anywhere in the U.S."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

How would it be fraud? They are legally dad’s children, and dad can legally have a different primary residence from mom, even if they’re married.

Dads new residence in a other state doesn't automatically become the children's residence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

I’ve never heard of this, and it sounds like an administrative nightmare, particularly across state lines. What if the whereabouts of the other parent are unknown?

Not hard really to get both parents or paperwork for sole custody . And not that many school in a specific county. That’s a very typical enrollment forms question. Op knows where he’s going. If not she should not allow travel without her knowledge.

You overestimate most men...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

There has to be a factual basis for these allegations or else OP will end up losing the motion and paying her husband's attorneys fees for a bad faith filing.

All the husband ever said is he is leaving her and wants to take the kids for part of the summer. He didn't threaten her. He didn't threaten them.

You file for divorce and propose a temporary custody plan. If he's not planning on taking them and not coming back, he signs and there's no problem. If he refuses to do that but just says he's planning on taking the kids out of state indefinitely, there's no bad faith filing in getting an order prohibiting that. You say, truthfully, that you are concerned about him not coming back because he refused to agree to a temporary custody plan saying he wouldn't do that.

There are any number of reasons he might not agree to a custody plan proposed by OPs lawyer that are not nefarious on his part. Do you actually expect her attorney to be totally fair to both sides in drafting his proposal?

If she files a TRO with zero factual basis she is going to have to testify why she is afraid he will take the kids out of state indefinitely.

If there is no evidence that that is his intention then she will have to explain why it will not be in the kids beat interests for Dad to have them for say half the summer.

Since OP has said absolutely nothing to suggest that her husband isn't a good parent to the child, imnit sure what that would be. It can't be just because he's a man.

OP has to be very careful with her credibility in front of the judge. Making hysterical unfounded allegations against the other parent in a divorce case is no bueno nowadays

Saying " But the bitter divorcees on DCUM told.me tondo this," is not a good plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

They don't have collectible assets. He does. School district can and will sue him for repayment if the tuition value for a fraudulent enrollment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

There has to be a factual basis for these allegations or else OP will end up losing the motion and paying her husband's attorneys fees for a bad faith filing.

All the husband ever said is he is leaving her and wants to take the kids for part of the summer. He didn't threaten her. He didn't threaten them.

What? No. You don’t need to prove anything to get a temporary custody order. He said he wants to divorce, wants to take the kids out of state, and wants to move. That’s more than enough to get a temporary order that requires the other parent’s consent for out of state visits.

LOL no
A temporary order will dictate who gets the children when and where. Not OP. He won't need to ask her permission either the judge will allow it or he won't. If she makes allegations that he should not be allowed to take them out of state at all because he intends to not return them, she better have more than DCUM to back up that claim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

[Anonymous]

Don't want to be involved

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

What kind of ex husband is going to volunteer that information? He can just enroll them in school with his new address and omit DW's info altogether. He doesn't need to say "in the process of divorce" at the time of enrollment. And if he doesn't want the prior school notified, he can easily write "homeschooled" on the form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should not wait for him to file. She should file for two things:

1) Temporary custody orders that prevent the children from spending the night, or more than a certain number of nights out of state without written consent from the other parent.

2) Freezing bank accounts and assets.

She should also consider that, unless there is abuse, it will be in the best interest of the kids to spend time with both parents. If he's moving out of state, then extended stays during school breaks, that start now while they're still used to living with him, are probably going to be part of that. So, the goal probably shouldn't be to prevent him from taking them to the new state for a visit this summer. It should be to make sure that if he takes them, he takes them with official documentation that he has committed to returning them on a certain date, and a court order that means that if he tries to keep them and enroll them in school in the other state he is in contempt.

And yes, there's a good chance that he is already planning to return them, probably even better than the chance that he isn't. But as parents we take steps all the time to prevent unlikely occurrences. It's unlikely that your kid will be in an accident on their bike today, but you probably still make them wear a helmet, because bike crashes are real possibilities, even if they happen less than 50%. There is a real possibility that he is trying to position himself for primary custody, and OP should protect against that.

Excellent advice, every word.

There has to be a factual basis for these allegations or else OP will end up losing the motion and paying her husband's attorneys fees for a bad faith filing.

All the husband ever said is he is leaving her and wants to take the kids for part of the summer. He didn't threaten her. He didn't threaten them.

You file for divorce and propose a temporary custody plan. If he's not planning on taking them and not coming back, he signs and there's no problem. If he refuses to do that but just says he's planning on taking the kids out of state indefinitely, there's no bad faith filing in getting an order prohibiting that. You say, truthfully, that you are concerned about him not coming back because he refused to agree to a temporary custody plan saying he wouldn't do that.

There are any number of reasons he might not agree to a custody plan proposed by OPs lawyer that are not nefarious on his part. Do you actually expect her attorney to be totally fair to both sides in drafting his proposal?

If she files a TRO with zero factual basis she is going to have to testify why she is afraid he will take the kids out of state indefinitely.

If there is no evidence that that is his intention then she will have to explain why it will not be in the kids beat interests for Dad to have them for say half the summer.

Since OP has said absolutely nothing to suggest that her husband isn't a good parent to the child, imnit sure what that would be. It can't be just because he's a man.

OP has to be very careful with her credibility in front of the judge. Making hysterical unfounded allegations against the other parent in a divorce case is no bueno nowadays

Saying " But the bitter divorcees on DCUM told.me tondo this," is not a good plan.

She's not saying he can't have them for half the summer. She can propose and he can propose something else. They can work it out. But if he refuses to agree to anything as far as when he'll bring the kids back, then there will be plenty of evidence to bring to a judge at that point.