Lazy, careless DH stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Don’t forget watermelon slushies!

[Anonymous]

I tend to be the careless one so I will not bash my husband.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Back to the topic of the thread, when I was pregnant DH suggested we take shifts taking care of the baby. Except his shift would be in the early morning hours and he would go to the gym during his shift since the baby would be sleeping 🤔

What was his response when you communicated to him this arrangement was not acceptable?

He got really defensive. Super fun time.

Not fun. Dysfunctional. Bad for children.

You both resolved the defensiveness through communication. Right? Are you not able to resolve issues with your spouse using communication?

Why do you ask? Is it distressing to you that my DH is a flawed human being and therefore want to soothe that distress by finding a way to blame me?

I ask because you have a child who deserves parents who are able to resolve issues through communication.

finding a way to blame me?

This isn't about you. It's about your child.

Actually this thread is entitled "Lazy, careless DH stories" not "how women are to blame for men being lazy and careless and how women are thereby hurting their children"

Yes it is. So just to be clear, you don't want to consider the possibility that parents who are unable to resolve issues through communication are hurting their children. That topic you want to avoid. You prefer to share lazy, careless DH stories.

You're accusing me of wanting to "avoid" a topic that is not the subject of this thread because you want to avoid discussing the subject of this thread, by changing the subject to parental communication. Clever, I will give you that.

Yes. For the benefit of your children, I am asking you to consider pursuing the topic of resolving your problems rather than complaining about your spouse. I'm guilty.

The topic of this thread isn't preventing me from discussing issue resolution for the benefit of your children. What's preventing you?

What I am hearing from you is that you believe I have an obligation to discuss with you (random internet poster) on this thread entitled "Lazy, careless, DH stories" how I can resolve my "problems" and if I don't that means I don't care about my "children".

lol

Thanks for the laugh

That fact that you are hearing "obligation" when I used with word "consider" speaks volumes about you.

What exactly does it say about me? Let me guess, in some way it means I don't care about it it my children.

It means you misrepresent and misinterpret.

I spoke about considering a topic that would "benefit of your children", would be more beneficial to them. I never said you "don't care" about your children. Those are you words. Again, another misrepresentation, a distraction from considering topics that would be more beneficial to your children.

Ohhh I see you just think I am missing an opportunity to help my children by not discussing with you my relationship with my spouse on this thread. Not that I don't care about them! My mistake.

You already here to discuss your relationship with your spouse. You are here to share stories about how he is lazy and/or careless.

By all means, ignore the considerations I've expressed - other topics beneficial to your children - and continue to share examples of how your spouse is lazy and careless. The reader can draw their own conclusions from this exchange.

Oh I see. You are being kind and generous in offering your advice about my marriage. But I should also worry about what other posters will think of me if I don't seek your advice? Specifically they will think I don't care about my children (but you don't think that, no, you only think kind things about people)

[Anonymous]

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I mean most (not all) DCUM posters are heterosexual married women. If this isn't a space to vent about husbands then I don't know what is.

Your problem is your colossal lack of self-awareness. You seek a space to complain about someone you promised to love for the rest of your life, when you should be looking for a space to examine your actions and choices so that you can make better ones in the future.

And, no, I do not mean the choice you made to marry your DH.

I mean the choices you make every day that lead you to blame him for whatever it is that brings you here to complain. If you were an adult, you could look at your reaction to his perceived shortcomings and grow from it.

Translation: I suffer from internalized misogyny who can't handle the notion that men are not perfect and can be legitimately vented about.

I think you need to work on yourself so that you don't feel so much distress about other women venting about their husbands. This must be awful for you. The first step would be to stop reading these forums.

NP. So you married a jerk too? The problem with the watermelon post is not the venting. Not that it takes longer to post than solve the problem. Not that it fails to solve OP’s problem.

The problem is the overwhelming number of posts in the relationship forum are about women venting and not taking actual steps to improve their relationships. This place becomes an echo chamber validating so many self-identifying martyrs.

Another poster who can't handle other women venting about their husbands. I'm sorry this thread is so upsetting to you, but that's a you problem. Nobody is buying this BS that you actually just concerned about these women not "solving the problem" and being "martyrs"

So yes, you are poster who vents on here about her husband. You guys sound like petty fools.

A lot of people, including me, vent about our husbands. That's why you see more than one thread about this. Venting about your life's frustrations is healthy.

No, it’s not true that it is healthy. It’s the equivalent of pouring gas on a fire.

https://time.com/7098679/is-venting-healthy/

Came here to post this.

[Anonymous]

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

[Anonymous]

I have always hacked chunks off of giant watermelons, which live on a watermelon plate in the fridge. The juice goes nowhere except on the watermelon plate, and everyone eats up the watermelon so fast that it's not a problem.

You need perspective and anger management classes, and now I need a watermelon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

Only the women that want to vent about their husbands are sniping? Not you, no, everything YOU say is perfectly valid and fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

Only the women that want to vent about their husbands are sniping? Not you, no, everything YOU say is perfectly valid and fair.

Did you read what I wrote? Or are you so angry that people are stomping on your toxic playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

Only the women that want to vent about their husbands are sniping? Not you, no, everything YOU say is perfectly valid and fair.

Did you read what I wrote? Or are you so angry that people are stomping on your toxic playground.

+1

[Anonymous]

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

Only the women that want to vent about their husbands are sniping? Not you, no, everything YOU say is perfectly valid and fair.

Reread the post. The poster wrote "People think their sniping," not women think their sniping.

Read first, (try to) understand next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

That’s classic DCUM, though. People think their sniping is okay even when they recognize that it is nuts in others.

Only the women that want to vent about their husbands are sniping? Not you, no, everything YOU say is perfectly valid and fair.

Did you read what I wrote? Or are you so angry that people are stomping on your toxic playground.

Wait did you just snipe at me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back to the topic of the thread, when I was pregnant DH suggested we take shifts taking care of the baby. Except his shift would be in the early morning hours and he would go to the gym during his shift since the baby would be sleeping 🤔

What was his response when you communicated to him this arrangement was not acceptable?

He got really defensive. Super fun time.

Not fun. Dysfunctional. Bad for children.

You both resolved the defensiveness through communication. Right? Are you not able to resolve issues with your spouse using communication?

Why do you ask? Is it distressing to you that my DH is a flawed human being and therefore want to soothe that distress by finding a way to blame me?

I ask because you have a child who deserves parents who are able to resolve issues through communication.

finding a way to blame me?

This isn't about you. It's about your child.

Actually this thread is entitled "Lazy, careless DH stories" not "how women are to blame for men being lazy and careless and how women are thereby hurting their children"

Blame the “lazy careless DH” before you blame his mother, and way before you blame his wife, for his laziness and carelessness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Just for the record: I’m OP and left for a few hours and came back to this insanity. I’m not any of the people sniping at each other. I’m looking forward to giving the watermelon to the birds in my yard and I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Just for the record: OP came here inviting people to badmouth their spouses "Lazy, careless DH stories". I mean, who could have predicted "insanity" and "sniping" would be the result of OP's share your "Lazy, careless DH stories" DCUM topic. I am floored.

I think I recovered from this incident faster than some others here.

Bravo. We can only hope to rise to OP's level of maturity.

My favorite part: I'm not any of the people sniping at each other. No, you are the person who invited people to complain about their "lazy, careless" husbands. Please do not act as if you are above what happened here.

The OP brought the pot and a giant spoon to stir the pot.