What first made you suspicious that your spouse was having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Do cheaters use their real photos on Tinder in their own cities?

Even if you look at all the options anonymously, I'd think the risks are high you'll get caught because most people know lots of other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do cheaters use their real photos on Tinder in their own cities?

Even if you look at all the options anonymously, I'd think the risks are high you'll get caught because most people know lots of other people.

I volunteer to
Help Out of some of the “are we dating the same person” boards. Yep, they use their real picture but fib on all other details eg. Location, age, job and even name. Some of these guys have like 6 names and completely different details all around. Pics are often dated or kind of made so they don’t look easily identifiable. Some of them are incredibly crafty.

[Anonymous]

Mine turned into a martyr. He must have asked me why I was mad at him 45 times a day. Guilty conscious.

Turns out he was cheating with men. It destroyed me.

[Anonymous]

In my case it was a bunch of odd things. A few of them include:
1. Her drinking more
2. Doing more work events and happy hours that I couldn’t join.
3. Having sex differently
4. Setting up one of her single friends with this “hot guy” at work and then oversharing about their sex life.
5. Her always being “depressed” and mentally somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine turned into a martyr. He must have asked me why I was mad at him 45 times a day. Guilty conscious.

Turns out he was cheating with men. It destroyed me.

Ugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my case it was a bunch of odd things. A few of them include:
1. Her drinking more
2. Doing more work events and happy hours that I couldn’t join.
3. Having sex differently
4. Setting up one of her single friends with this “hot guy” at work and then oversharing about their sex life.
5. Her always being “depressed” and mentally somewhere else.

Gross. That 'single friend' was her and she was telling you about banging her AP.

[Anonymous]

Gross. That 'single friend' was her and she was telling you about banging her AP.

DP. I agree.

PP, I am so sorry to hear your story. Did your DW come clean about her affair(s)? Was she an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my case it was a bunch of odd things. A few of them include:
1. Her drinking more
2. Doing more work events and happy hours that I couldn’t join.
3. Having sex differently
4. Setting up one of her single friends with this “hot guy” at work and then oversharing about their sex life.
5. Her always being “depressed” and mentally somewhere else.

Gross. That 'single friend' was her and she was telling you about banging her AP.

She actually did set her friend up with him but I think talking to her friend about their escapades just made her want to sleep with him more because of the things her friend told her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Gross. That 'single friend' was her and she was telling you about banging her AP.

DP. I agree.

PP, I am so sorry to hear your story. Did your DW come clean about her affair(s)? Was she an alcoholic?

She was fast becoming an alcaholic. Honestly, I think she was just really unhappy, felt guilty for what she was doing yet wanted to keep doing it.

She didn’t come clean, I busted her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them.

Exactly! Like you I refused to wallow in anger. I took action. He's shocked. If you're going to cheat on a fire sign you had best prepare to be burned. I found my strength the day he moved out. I'd forgotten I knew how to be capable and strong but I learned pretty darn quick. It's been kind of awesome even when he throws up obstacles and has tantrums.

[Anonymous]

It had lipstick on it but not in my color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Gross. That 'single friend' was her and she was telling you about banging her AP.

DP. I agree.

PP, I am so sorry to hear your story. Did your DW come clean about her affair(s)? Was she an alcoholic?

She was fast becoming an alcaholic. Honestly, I think she was just really unhappy, felt guilty for what she was doing yet wanted to keep doing it.

She didn’t come clean, I busted her.

My ex became an alcoholic. Affair, booze, all ways to numb oneself - self medicate. Stress of lying and guilt just made the drinking worse. Then shame after confessing = more drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them.

Your situation is unique, you know that, right? You’re either in denial or a sociopath. The rest of us are traumatized, even if we, too, “kicked his overweight manbaby ass out”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them.

Your situation is unique, you know that, right? You’re either in denial or a sociopath. The rest of us are traumatized, even if we, too, “kicked his overweight manbaby ass out”.

I'm sorry. I had a hard few months, but not what I would call "traumatized." Or maybe trauma quickly morphed into RIGHTEOUSLY PISSED OFF. Which may, in retrospect, have manifested as a tiny bit of sociopathy.

I don't think I'm unique. I do know I'm fortunate. I hope you find peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them.

Your situation is unique, you know that, right? You’re either in denial or a sociopath. The rest of us are traumatized, even if we, too, “kicked his overweight manbaby ass out”.

I'm sorry. I had a hard few months, but not what I would call "traumatized." Or maybe trauma quickly morphed into RIGHTEOUSLY PISSED OFF. Which may, in retrospect, have manifested as a tiny bit of sociopathy.

I don't think I'm unique. I do know I'm fortunate. I hope you find peace.

I’m pissed off, too. But I don’t run around calling my ex names. He’s those things, but I find solace allowing him to show the world his true colors all on his own, which was exactly what he did when he cheated. I hope you find peace, too!