What first made you suspicious that your spouse was having an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the women complaining about their cheating husbands - if you got fat or were not having frequent sex with your husbands then you are part of the problem. While cheating is primarily the cheater’s fault, if you are fat or not having sex with your husband, then you contributed to the problem.

Is that why he was cheating with men?

Exactly! Then shocked that he caught an STD because he used a condom and this was another married man who wasn’t having sex with his wife so should have been safe! lol!

Should have been safe? Uh, I don't think so. Man whores who slut around with a plethora of other men aren't safe for anybody to have sex with.

Is your husband a closeted gay man or is he just bi and unfaithful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave.

One of the worst thing a man can do in a marriage is being nice and a equal partner and not be assertive.

+1000

I am having trouble telling what's sarcasm and what's not.

Not sarcasm, especially for rational people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave.

One of the worst thing a man can do in a marriage is being nice and a equal partner and not be assertive.

+1000

I am having trouble telling what's sarcasm and what's not.

Not sarcasm, especially for rational people

NP - you may want to work on your writing skills. FWIW I was cheated on by my dh. I'm well aware that it's not a matter of one person being nice and good and one person being evil and terrible. I refuse to put my tail between my legs and lick my wounds. I want to know what my role was in this dynamic so I never repeat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave.

One of the worst thing a man can do in a marriage is being nice and a equal partner and not be assertive.

+1000

I am having trouble telling what's sarcasm and what's not.

Not sarcasm, especially for rational people

NP - you may want to work on your writing skills. FWIW I was cheated on by my dh. I'm well aware that it's not a matter of one person being nice and good and one person being evil and terrible. I refuse to put my tail between my legs and lick my wounds. I want to know what my role was in this dynamic so I never repeat it.

Writing skills are a minor thing when talking about important issues. You can answer the above perhaps with the help of a counselor. Either you had a role in it or your husband is a crappy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave.

One of the worst thing a man can do in a marriage is being nice and a equal partner and not be assertive.

We all know why you're single and no one wants anything serious from you. If you're rich you can get a bit of action, but you are just being used - may as well pay a prostitute. No one wants you long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave.

One of the worst thing a man can do in a marriage is being nice and a equal partner and not be assertive.

+1000

I am having trouble telling what's sarcasm and what's not.

Not sarcasm, especially for rational people

NP - you may want to work on your writing skills. FWIW I was cheated on by my dh. I'm well aware that it's not a matter of one person being nice and good and one person being evil and terrible. I refuse to put my tail between my legs and lick my wounds. I want to know what my role was in this dynamic so I never repeat it.

Writing skills are a minor thing when talking about important issues. You can answer the above perhaps with the help of a counselor. Either you had a role in it or your husband is a crappy person.

Your critical thinking skills are lacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SO many of these! The weird work schedule, the irritability, covering his tracks administratively (hiding the phone bill, opening a secret bank account.) I feel like being secretive with his phone is universal. Anyone seeing that should be concerned.

But one I haven't seen here is new sex tricks. I had been his first, and we'd been together 15 years, and he hated porn. When he started doing something new in bed, my hackles went up. Yeah, she told him something she liked, and he brought it straight home and tried it on me. Vile.

She suddenly developed an interest in (and knowledge of) bondage and new positions that she had never previously shown in the preceding 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Women do this too, you know. Absolute focus on their AP and zero consideration for the devastating effect on their husbands and children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a dream he was cheating on me. My subconscious knew before I consciously stumbled across clear evidence.

When I recounted my dream, my then-husband laughed and said "as if I'd have time to have an affair with all the time I spend working to support this family!"

A. He worked no harder than me, and earned no more money.
B. He left the housework/ childcare largely to me.
C. He had plenty of time. And used it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Women do this too, you know. Absolute focus on their AP and zero consideration for the devastating effect on their husbands and children.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

[Anonymous]

My friend was matched with him on Tinder and she called me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic.

Agree. Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it.
Men and women. One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too.

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend was matched with him on Tinder and she called me

LOL!
I'm sorry, of course, but what a dumba**!