Reply to What first made you suspicious that your spouse was having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading these stories just makes me ill. The description of these men primping, buying new underwear, paying meticulous attention to personal hygiene, etc. This is what you do when you’re dating. How on earth can men with wives and families and homes live in that environment and still have the temerity to court a new woman? Like where is their humanity and ethics? This isn’t getting drunk at a bar on a business trip and messing up. This is getting ready for a date in your own home while your wife is in the next room, probably feeding your kids dinner. It’s chillingly sociopathic. [/quote]
Agree.  Chillingly sociopathic, and narcissistic, and then they lose complete grasp on reality and start blaming their spouse for "making them" do it. 
Men and women.  One of the worst sins there is- destroying a family, yet almost no consequences in current society. Disgusting
[/quote]

Nope. Usually the only person with negative consequences is the betrayed spouse, who has had their world and how they understand it torn to shreds. They lose all their reality, often their confidence, ability to trust, not to mention their family, some friends and life as they knew it. And even as demonstrated here, they get the blame too. [/quote]

Speak for yourself. Sure, I wallowed for a few months. Then I got strategic and secured my position. (Joke's on him for being a lazy MFer and making me do all the household and financial management.) And then I kicked his overweight manbaby ass out, kept the house and everything in it, and kept half his retirement. He (and his side piece) had to move in with his parents. Zero regrets.

It was actually a huge confidence boost, and I was well supported by family and friends throughout. And then one of those supportive friends became more, and now I'm five years into a loving and satisfying relationship.

I think betrayed spouses do themselves a disservice by going all "woe is me." Stand up for yourself. Cheaters deserve everything you can throw at them. [/quote] Exactly! Like you I refused to wallow in anger. I took action. He's shocked. If you're going to cheat on a fire sign you had best prepare to be burned. I found my strength the day he moved out. I'd forgotten I knew how to be capable and strong but I learned pretty darn quick. It's been kind of awesome even when he throws up obstacles and has tantrums. [/quote]

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