10+ years into “settling”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really hope there are men out there who are settling as well. The responses by a lot of women here really show their transactional nature the very same criticism they Levy at men...

Woman here wondering the same thing.
Come on, there's got to be men willing to talk about how they settled.

Nope, which is ironic given the tendency for women to date up (e.g. the men are the ones settling).

Part of the reason why you don't see men whining online about settling is because they like being in the power position and all the security that comes with that. I also believe that, in cases where their spouses are truly atrocious, men tend to either soldier on to appease her (Type B men) or walk away from the relationship (Type A men); they don't seek validation on Internet forums and wail to strangers on tiktok about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women always eventually conclude they "settled" even though they married the best guy they could catch at the time.

This is so true. My husband isn't perfect but truth is, he was the best I could do. At the time my mother insisted I was settling and wanted me to hold out for someone better. It really ruined our relationship for a few years but I didn't exactly have men knocking down my door. I felt like the odds of someone better coming along were low.

Yes my mother has really damaged my marriage with her constant complaining that I could have done better.
We don't have a whole lot in common (he's a 100% homebody and I'm the opposite) and I work a lot harder than he does at earning money. But physically we are excellent together. I have a feeling that when we are older and that doesn't matter anymore we may fall apart.