In-laws coming for ten days

[Anonymous]

Ten days is too long for any guests, especially in laws.

Three would be a gracious plenty, but I can see compromising on five.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have bigger problems than in-laws staying for 10 days. Your husband has shown you his lack of respect, this is another dismissal of your feelings.

I'm sorry but you chose to ignore the affair and stay in the marriage. If you continue in this marriage these types of issues will repeat. Or you can decide to find a real partner who respects you.

I definitely did not “ignore ” the affair. And just btw around 70 percent of marriages there is an incidence of infidelity and most people stay together and work through it. Some brush it under the rug, we definitely did not.

He continues to show his lack of respect. If he knew you didn't want to host them for 10 days he could have talked to them. Told them 10 days would be too long because you have plans after 5. There were many options. He's showing you he isn't valuing your marriage, especially after what he did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have bigger problems than in-laws staying for 10 days. Your husband has shown you his lack of respect, this is another dismissal of your feelings.

I'm sorry but you chose to ignore the affair and stay in the marriage. If you continue in this marriage these types of issues will repeat. Or you can decide to find a real partner who respects you.

I definitely did not “ignore ” the affair. And just btw around 70 percent of marriages there is an incidence of infidelity and most people stay together and work through it. Some brush it under the rug, we definitely did not.

Are you the poster who was insanely angry at a poster who posted that she contacted the husband of her husbands affair partner? She let the spouse know their spouses were having an affair and a poster was furious at her because if it was her she’d rather not know. She kept asserting that everyone has affairs and most people don’t know and continue on in their fake happy marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have bigger problems than in-laws staying for 10 days. Your husband has shown you his lack of respect, this is another dismissal of your feelings.

I'm sorry but you chose to ignore the affair and stay in the marriage. If you continue in this marriage these types of issues will repeat. Or you can decide to find a real partner who respects you.

I definitely did not “ignore ” the affair. And just btw around 70 percent of marriages there is an incidence of infidelity and most people stay together and work through it. Some brush it under the rug, we definitely did not.

Are you the poster who was insanely angry at a poster who posted that she contacted the husband of her husbands affair partner? She let the spouse know their spouses were having an affair and a poster was furious at her because if it was her she’d rather not know. She kept asserting that everyone has affairs and most people don’t know and continue on in their fake happy marriages.

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should go visit your mom for a few days. Stay in a nice hotel invite the kids and it’s their choice if they want to come along or not. Do you know to prepare for your in-laws visit. Tell your husband it’s all on him. The cooking the cleaning, the sheet changing everything.

Plus it will make a good dry run for the inevitable separation OP and her DH will ultimately be making. Doesn't sound like there's a big upside to staying with the guy who cheats and imposes family that OP doesn't like for TEN DAYS.

[Anonymous]

Reporting back he told them the dates that “work for us” tonight and adhered to the 5 days I suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reporting back he told them the dates that “work for us” tonight and adhered to the 5 days I suggested.

👏👏👏
How did they react? And will they honor it or attempt to manipulate their way into the 10 days?

[Anonymous]

I would insist to your husband that he let his parents know that a five-day visit would be a great idea.

Ten days sounds like it would be hell!
If he declines to tell his parents this - then maybe you + your kids could leave the house for a five day trip for yourselves ?

I find it perfectly unacceptable that your husband is putting his parent’s needs above his wife’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reporting back he told them the dates that “work for us” tonight and adhered to the 5 days I suggested.

👏👏👏
How did they react? And will they honor it or attempt to manipulate their way into the 10 days?

They were “ surprised” but he held his ground so no - there won’t be a change as we secure their airfare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reporting back he told them the dates that “work for us” tonight and adhered to the 5 days I suggested.

👏👏👏
How did they react? And will they honor it or attempt to manipulate their way into the 10 days?

They were “ surprised” but he held his ground so no - there won’t be a change as we secure their airfare

OP here , while not meant to be a “test” it kind of was. I said to him, “I know you’re not used to me asserting myself or having boundaries, but that was a huge issue with us and in our attempt to forge a new kind of relationship, this is important to me”. I feel good about how it’s been resolved though yes in a more perfect world he would’ve checked in on the front end, think this is good progress.