DD wants the big bedroom, but I don’t want to give it to her & DH not backing me up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are being ridiculous, OP.

I would resent you forever if you pulled this stunt. Give the girl her dream room. The 4 year old won't care.

Depending on how sensitive he is, it’s possible the 4 year old could feel kind of guilty about keeping his sister from having her dream room. My daughter probably would.

[Anonymous]

Now that OP has come back to say that all the bedrooms are on the main floor, I would probably opt to give DD the bedroom she wants.

However, the sneaking out thing is a real concern for when she’s older, also the safety of your daughter in the unlikely event of an intruder or something. If you put her in that room, you need a camera/Ring at that entrance that alerts you to any activity.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like favoritism. Your current 4 year old will not care now about the room. When your 4 year old is 13, the oldest should be out the house and gets to enjoy the larger room as a teen. The security reason is stupid. If she wants to sneak someone in, she will. Plus, who doesn’t have cameras on their property now a days? You don’t like your kid and want her to suffer, we get it. The smaller bedroom should always be a guest room. Why would guest need a huge room for a night or two?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like favoritism. Your current 4 year old will not care now about the room. When your 4 year old is 13, the oldest should be out the house and gets to enjoy the larger room as a teen. The security reason is stupid. If she wants to sneak someone in, she will. Plus, who doesn’t have cameras on their property now a days? You don’t like your kid and want her to suffer, we get it. The smaller bedroom should always be a guest room. Why would guest need a huge room for a night or two?

EXACTLY It would be favoritism to give the girl the larger room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that OP has come back to say that all the bedrooms are on the main floor, I would probably opt to give DD the bedroom she wants.

However, the sneaking out thing is a real concern for when she’s older, also the safety of your daughter in the unlikely event of an intruder or something. If you put her in that room, you need a camera/Ring at that entrance that alerts you to any activity.

Can’t you just put a deadbolt on the door and don’t give her the key? There is probably one there already if it’s an exterior door.

[Anonymous]

the bothy get the same size rooms. Decorate it so it's girly- that's really what she wants anyway. The third room is to be used as something else.

You have A DH problem though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like favoritism. Your current 4 year old will not care now about the room. When your 4 year old is 13, the oldest should be out the house and gets to enjoy the larger room as a teen. The security reason is stupid. If she wants to sneak someone in, she will. Plus, who doesn’t have cameras on their property now a days? You don’t like your kid and want her to suffer, we get it. The smaller bedroom should always be a guest room. Why would guest need a huge room for a night or two?

EXACTLY It would be favoritism to give the girl the larger room.

Whatever. Maybe in 5 years the boy wants to play hockey and gets more family resources for that. Things don’t have to always be equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

I mean, yeah. We have a backyard, a family room, and a partially finished basement. I bet OP does too. I don’t think she is moving into a double wide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

So, the DD sleeps on the floor in her brothers room if guests come. This isn’t a reason to keep an empty bedroom in your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

[Anonymous]

You could always give them both amazing new furniture if their choice to get them excited

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you a-holes being so mean to OP? I think her plan makes sense and I would absolutely not indulge my 9 year old child (boy or girl). Plus she says she'll put in girly fancy stuff into her child's smaller room. Your girl gets to design her dream room, tell her you'll do whatever she wants, she'll get over not having the big room SO quickly once you paint her walls the color she wants, put in shelving she wants, bedding she wants, etc...

So isn't that indulging your daughter, OP?

I'm not OP. And it's indulging her, but OP needs to use the larger room for other purposes - she said a guest bed would not fit in one of the smaller rooms, for example. She wants the kids to have a playroom/multi-purpsoe room. I truly thought most people would agree with OP that her daughter doesn't need to have the large room, I was so surprised to hear all these people saying "screw practicality, spoil your sweet sweet baby and give her the big room".

I am confident that if it was the boy that wanted a bigger, boy-themed room, OR if OP hadn't mentioned the room was already decorated in a girly manner, NONE of you would say "give it to the child". Bunch of weirdos on today.

Either that or you're all just so rich and have such huge houses that you can't even fathom having to make a decision like this for practical reasons because you have so much extra space and giant rooms in your own house.

A guest bed wouldn’t FIT in the room Op wants to give the kid? OP that’s insane to think you can fit a bed, dresser, desk, toys, etc in a bedroom that won’t fit a double bed

And if the point is to use the room as a guest room, wouldn’t it be better if it was normally set up as a bedroom, rather than a playroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now that OP has come back to say that all the bedrooms are on the main floor, I would probably opt to give DD the bedroom she wants.

However, the sneaking out thing is a real concern for when she’s older, also the safety of your daughter in the unlikely event of an intruder or something. If you put her in that room, you need a camera/Ring at that entrance that alerts you to any activity.

Can’t you just put a deadbolt on the door and don’t give her the key? There is probably one there already if it’s an exterior door.

If the “key” part of the deadbolt is on the inside, doesn’t that mean anyone outside can open it?

[Anonymous]

You realize kids can sneak out through the front or back door or a living room window (don’t ask me how I know), right?

That seems to be a really weird reason not to give your daughter a room that’s already set up for a girl and that she’s excited about.

You can always change rooms again later. In 4 years she probably won’t want a super girly room anyway.