Interesting Reddit post exposes a big problem modern dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today men want & need women more than women want & need men. Thus women are choosier.

I think both women AND men need each other less nowadays. 125 years ago a person might need to make their own clothes, make their own bread from scratch, wash their clothes by hand. Plus work shifts were often longer and involved more manual labor. Imagine working a 12 hour manual labor job and when you get home you have to wash your clothes by hand, start fiddling with yeast if you want bread, need to go to a pump to get water, etc. Literally impossible. Most single males would live in homes that included a room AND board for that very reason.

Nowadays, there are takeout options, meal-prep services ready made bread and other goods. A washing machine and dryer makes cleaning clothes a snap. Vacuum cleaners make tidying up a lot easier. It's feasible for a single guy to live alone and get by. I know because I was a single guy for 5 years when I was in my 30s and got along fine.

The strongest evidence that men don't "need" women the way they used to is men's refusal to meet many of the standards set by modern women. If the men really needed women, they would take the steps necessary for their survival and meet women's standards. The fact that many don't just shows the men don't really need women.

Sure some men will say they want a woman who they expect to cook and clean and be sexy while they sit around playing video games. But this "want" or "need" should be given as much credence as me saying I want breakfast in bed everyday.

Good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take a look at the beauty forum on this website. Women spend A LOT of time on looking good. Of course they are more attractive.

I have three boys and one girl. My daughter is 12 now and starting to have to do all of this stuff that her brothers don’t just to fit in (hair, jewelry, eyebrows, shaving). She’s pretty resentful of it, so I notice it more.

I bet if you spent $50/wk and one hour a day trying to make yourself more attractive (in addition to working out), you would find that women notice you more.

As a man, if I had $50 a week to spend on grooming, I'd be able to save about $48 a week. I really have no idea what products I'd buy for that price. I use the same razor for about two weeks. A bottle of shampoo lasts me months. No conditioner. Some body lotion in the winter months. My tweezers are a few decades old and my nose hair trimmer costs less than $10.

I do feel sorry for your 12 year-old daughter. That seems way too soon to be concerned with all that. My daughter was playing soccer at that age and didn't do any of that until later.

I work with several gay men and they know where it's at. They all have wonderful skin thanks to tretinoin, botox, sunscreen. They do look better than my husband, who refuses to do all those things and looks terribly aged.

But your husband is a real man. The gays are just … well, gay.

and a guy wrote this, above. No doubt a Trump voter, too. #sus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today men want & need women more than women want & need men. Thus women are choosier.

I think both women AND men need each other less nowadays. 125 years ago a person might need to make their own clothes, make their own bread from scratch, wash their clothes by hand. Plus work shifts were often longer and involved more manual labor. Imagine working a 12 hour manual labor job and when you get home you have to wash your clothes by hand, start fiddling with yeast if you want bread, need to go to a pump to get water, etc. Literally impossible. Most single males would live in homes that included a room AND board for that very reason.

Nowadays, there are takeout options, meal-prep services ready made bread and other goods. A washing machine and dryer makes cleaning clothes a snap. Vacuum cleaners make tidying up a lot easier. It's feasible for a single guy to live alone and get by. I know because I was a single guy for 5 years when I was in my 30s and got along fine.

The strongest evidence that men don't "need" women the way they used to is men's refusal to meet many of the standards set by modern women. If the men really needed women, they would take the steps necessary for their survival and meet women's standards. The fact that many don't just shows the men don't really need women.

Sure some men will say they want a woman who they expect to cook and clean and be sexy while they sit around playing video games. But this "want" or "need" should be given as much credence as me saying I want breakfast in bed everyday.

Good point.

This just tells me that most men are largely asexual. Men particular post 40 yo have performance issues. They know they can't perform and not interested as much in women anymore. Why bother being on diet, taking care of yourself, being a good partner? Its way easier just to live alone

It's not because of easily available sex. These men are NOT getting a lot of free sex on the apps. The men who are dating actively on OLD at least can offer good looks and performance.

So yes, when I see a well groomed and well spoken man it tells me he still cares about being attractive to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today men want & need women more than women want & need men. Thus women are choosier.

I think both women AND men need each other less nowadays. 125 years ago a person might need to make their own clothes, make their own bread from scratch, wash their clothes by hand. Plus work shifts were often longer and involved more manual labor. Imagine working a 12 hour manual labor job and when you get home you have to wash your clothes by hand, start fiddling with yeast if you want bread, need to go to a pump to get water, etc. Literally impossible. Most single males would live in homes that included a room AND board for that very reason.

Nowadays, there are takeout options, meal-prep services ready made bread and other goods. A washing machine and dryer makes cleaning clothes a snap. Vacuum cleaners make tidying up a lot easier. It's feasible for a single guy to live alone and get by. I know because I was a single guy for 5 years when I was in my 30s and got along fine.

The strongest evidence that men don't "need" women the way they used to is men's refusal to meet many of the standards set by modern women. If the men really needed women, they would take the steps necessary for their survival and meet women's standards. The fact that many don't just shows the men don't really need women.

Sure some men will say they want a woman who they expect to cook and clean and be sexy while they sit around playing video games. But this "want" or "need" should be given as much credence as me saying I want breakfast in bed everyday.

Good point.

This just tells me that most men are largely asexual. Men particular post 40 yo have performance issues. They know they can't perform and not interested as much in women anymore. Why bother being on diet, taking care of yourself, being a good partner? Its way easier just to live alone

It's not because of easily available sex. These men are NOT getting a lot of free sex on the apps. The men who are dating actively on OLD at least can offer good looks and performance.

So yes, when I see a well groomed and well spoken man it tells me he still cares about being attractive to others.

I don't think asexual is the right term. Just like many women who stop dating because (fill in the blank: men are too cheap, broke, don't clean, etc.) are not "asexual." These women just don't think the juice is worth the squeeze. Likewise, the men who can't be bothered to meet women's standards aren't necessarily asexual. They just don't think the juice is worth the squeeze as shown by their actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today men want & need women more than women want & need men. Thus women are choosier.

I think both women AND men need each other less nowadays. 125 years ago a person might need to make their own clothes, make their own bread from scratch, wash their clothes by hand. Plus work shifts were often longer and involved more manual labor. Imagine working a 12 hour manual labor job and when you get home you have to wash your clothes by hand, start fiddling with yeast if you want bread, need to go to a pump to get water, etc. Literally impossible. Most single males would live in homes that included a room AND board for that very reason.

Nowadays, there are takeout options, meal-prep services ready made bread and other goods. A washing machine and dryer makes cleaning clothes a snap. Vacuum cleaners make tidying up a lot easier. It's feasible for a single guy to live alone and get by. I know because I was a single guy for 5 years when I was in my 30s and got along fine.

The strongest evidence that men don't "need" women the way they used to is men's refusal to meet many of the standards set by modern women. If the men really needed women, they would take the steps necessary for their survival and meet women's standards. The fact that many don't just shows the men don't really need women.

Sure some men will say they want a woman who they expect to cook and clean and be sexy while they sit around playing video games. But this "want" or "need" should be given as much credence as me saying I want breakfast in bed everyday.

Now imagine a situation where 1 of the sexes adapted to all these advancements with more education, skills, multitasking, and communication and the other gender did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men ….. trim your nose and ear hair, open the door for me, be emotionally available to listen and you are at about a 6 or 7 in my book. Keep up with my wit and sense of humor and you will be a solid 8. Add a beard and bam you are a 9.5.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

+1 he is literally the 2nd best looking billionaire behind that Russian dude with a million kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

He's 5'8", had a hair transplant, and has a face like a half-melted plastic Putin action figure. He's genuinely unnerving to look at. "Intelligent face", seriously?

He’s taller than Trump

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Today men want & need women more than women want & need men. Thus women are choosier.

I think both women AND men need each other less nowadays. 125 years ago a person might need to make their own clothes, make their own bread from scratch, wash their clothes by hand. Plus work shifts were often longer and involved more manual labor. Imagine working a 12 hour manual labor job and when you get home you have to wash your clothes by hand, start fiddling with yeast if you want bread, need to go to a pump to get water, etc. Literally impossible. Most single males would live in homes that included a room AND board for that very reason.

Nowadays, there are takeout options, meal-prep services ready made bread and other goods. A washing machine and dryer makes cleaning clothes a snap. Vacuum cleaners make tidying up a lot easier. It's feasible for a single guy to live alone and get by. I know because I was a single guy for 5 years when I was in my 30s and got along fine.

The strongest evidence that men don't "need" women the way they used to is men's refusal to meet many of the standards set by modern women. If the men really needed women, they would take the steps necessary for their survival and meet women's standards. The fact that many don't just shows the men don't really need women.

Sure some men will say they want a woman who they expect to cook and clean and be sexy while they sit around playing video games. But this "want" or "need" should be given as much credence as me saying I want breakfast in bed everyday.

You sound like the rare sane man here. How do you explain the anger that unattractive men have towards women for not wanting them? I don't see large numbers of unattractive women who have given up on making themselves attractive to men nonetheless building their lives and communities around hating men for not wanting them. Yet, it's virtually the rule that slovenly, mean spirited men who refuse to do anything to be attractive to women nonetheless hate us for not wanting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

+1 he is literally the 2nd best looking billionaire behind that Russian dude with a million kids

NP. That's not saying much re: Elon. The Russian dude with the bajillion kids has had comedic amounts of plastic surgery. Attractive, intelligent women are common, but intelligent men seem to come only in excessively ugly - like so ugly that you think they're doing it on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Is the "anger" a real thing or a feature of a few men and social media? I know a few men who lean towards misogyny, but none of them had trouble attracting women. I don't know any men who couldn't attract women and were angry with women as a result.

Men certainly are more vocal and prone to extremism. Young men especially. Large numbers of unattached angry men have destabilized societies through history. Blame testosterone, socialization, patriarchy--take your pick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

+1 he is literally the 2nd best looking billionaire behind that Russian dude with a million kids

Russian dude's real face (and this was in his prime 20s):

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the "anger" a real thing or a feature of a few men and social media? I know a few men who lean towards misogyny, but none of them had trouble attracting women. I don't know any men who couldn't attract women and were angry with women as a result.

Men certainly are more vocal and prone to extremism. Young men especially. Large numbers of unattached angry men have destabilized societies through history. Blame testosterone, socialization, patriarchy--take your pick!

Oh, it's a real thing. Get any of these below average men comfortable and watch what comes out. You don't seem to understand that social media is radicalizing people in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the "anger" a real thing or a feature of a few men and social media? I know a few men who lean towards misogyny, but none of them had trouble attracting women. I don't know any men who couldn't attract women and were angry with women as a result.

Men certainly are more vocal and prone to extremism. Young men especially. Large numbers of unattached angry men have destabilized societies through history. Blame testosterone, socialization, patriarchy--take your pick!

Oh, it's a real thing. Get any of these below average men comfortable and watch what comes out. You don't seem to understand that social media is radicalizing people in real life.

You may be right. But my peers don't fit what you describe. I have sons, nephews, cousins, etc., ranging from teenagers to their 30s, but none of them express any anger about not getting women/girls. They seem to have no problem with the opposite sex and I can barely keep up with who they are dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 2 guy who makes over $500k a year instantly moves up to a 5. Make a million a year and he’s a 7 or 8.

No Mr Misogyny.

We are not for sale.

What’s the oldest profession in the world