Interesting Reddit post exposes a big problem modern dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so there are repercussions for oppressing women for hundreds of years and now they get enhanced choice in who they procreate with? Boo hoo to you.

I don’t think you understand what this chart results in. You end up with a very small number of men that have enhanced choice. Many men that have no partners at all. And women who are pressured to have sex rather than relationships in the forlorn hope that the former will turn in to the latter.

I mean, all men have to do to be in the top 1/3 of men is to be about a 4. How is that not good news for men?

I feel like all gay men are able to achieve this. You can do this, OP.

+1. Go to the gym, get in shape. Take care of your skin. If you’re balding either embrace it and shave your head/get a crew cut or go on Rogaine. Dress better in clothes that actually fit and aren’t 10+ years old and 2 sizes too big. Work hard at your career and make more money.

Btw that’s a small fraction of what women do, just saying. It’s not enough for a man to just “show up” anymore and that hasn’t been the case in quite some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so there are repercussions for oppressing women for hundreds of years and now they get enhanced choice in who they procreate with? Boo hoo to you.

I don’t think you understand what this chart results in. You end up with a very small number of men that have enhanced choice. Many men that have no partners at all. And women who are pressured to have sex rather than relationships in the forlorn hope that the former will turn in to the latter.

I mean, all men have to do to be in the top 1/3 of men is to be about a 4. How is that not good news for men?

I feel like all gay men are able to achieve this. You can do this, OP.

This - and personality goes a long way for making a guy attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was so interesting:



So apparently women think all men are ugly. A thoroughly mid looking woman who rates only a 4-5 is probably looking for a man who is 6-7, which is basically an entire standard deviation or more away from the mean for how women are rating looks for men.

It seems like men evaluate the looks of women much more fairly given that the mean is about a 4/10, which should be expected (5/10). Women seem to have insane expectations for how their partners should look. I guess if you aren't Henry Cavill you're an instant 1 or 2. Modern dating cultures and apps have ruined all expectations, no doubt.

. Men are visual, it’s not surprise they find women more attractive. Women like different things.

At the end of the day just because a man thinks a woman is attractive and will sleep with him doesn’t mean he wants her as a partner.

Single moms for instance, most are for recreational use only, they may be hot and guys will sleep with them, but most guys won’t wife them up. No man wants to continue another man’s saved game because the women he’s sleeping with made bad decisions in the past.

Too much at stake and family courts are a mess. That’s why most women will be unmarried and childless now. Men don’t need marriage to sleep with women as they give it up easily anyways…why by the cow when you get the milk for free and all that.

My friend, back slowly away from the Internet. Maybe try a hike in the woods? You are not OK.

+1000

That diatribe was 1:1 Andrew Tate manosphere energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, so there are repercussions for oppressing women for hundreds of years and now they get enhanced choice in who they procreate with? Boo hoo to you.

I don’t think you understand what this chart results in. You end up with a very small number of men that have enhanced choice. Many men that have no partners at all. And women who are pressured to have sex rather than relationships in the forlorn hope that the former will turn in to the latter.

I mean, all men have to do to be in the top 1/3 of men is to be about a 4. How is that not good news for men?

I feel like all gay men are able to achieve this. You can do this, OP.

Maybe nationally, but around here lots of men are in shape. They may not be ripped, but most at least exercise. The major industries in DC are law and politics which require grooming and social skills. The prevalence of professionals means there is also a large pool of men earning a good salary. Basically, there is no reason for a reasonably attractive woman in DC to have to settle because even a slightly above average guy should be in shape, bathed, and earning good money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like it's way easier for a man to be attractive. Men just need to be slim, some muscles (so not just skinny fat), get a good haircut, wear nice clothes and voila- very attractive.
M
Women's skin care routines, hair routines, makeup routines and everything else is a lot. And it's on top of the men's requirements of be thin and wear nice clothes.

I think women out more stock in that than women do.

I dated someone who barely wore makeup. She looked great. Ok fact better than most.

Men aren’t asking you to dress up like a model every day. Stay in shape and be nice is usually good enough.

Women get the “ick” over random things. Oh he eats good a certain way…gross. Oh he wears striped shirts…gross.

Guys just don’t want you to be fat and rude…that’s it.

Also, if you are a woman with baggage doesn’t mean he still won’t sleep with you. Just means he won’t get into a relationship with you. I’ve slept with many red flags. And as soon as they’re too much I slow fade and block. You’re someone else’s problem after that.

[Anonymous]

I tracked back the source data. It's not particularly interesting.

Women want to choose a person they perceive as less attractive than themselves. Men want to choose a person they perceive to be more attractive than themselves. Their ratings are not fully objective, they're more heavily skewed in each direction to back-in to what they're looking for in a partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was so interesting:



So apparently women think all men are ugly. A thoroughly mid looking woman who rates only a 4-5 is probably looking for a man who is 6-7, which is basically an entire standard deviation or more away from the mean for how women are rating looks for men.

It seems like men evaluate the looks of women much more fairly given that the mean is about a 4/10, which should be expected (5/10). Women seem to have insane expectations for how their partners should look. I guess if you aren't Henry Cavill you're an instant 1 or 2. Modern dating cultures and apps have ruined all expectations, no doubt.

. Men are visual, it’s not surprise they find women more attractive. Women like different things.

At the end of the day just because a man thinks a woman is attractive and will sleep with him doesn’t mean he wants her as a partner.

Single moms for instance, most are for recreational use only, they may be hot and guys will sleep with them, but most guys won’t wife them up. No man wants to continue another man’s saved game because the women he’s sleeping with made bad decisions in the past.

Too much at stake and family courts are a mess. That’s why most women will be unmarried and childless now. Men don’t need marriage to sleep with women as they give it up easily anyways…why by the cow when you get the milk for free and all that.

My friend, back slowly away from the Internet. Maybe try a hike in the woods? You are not OK.

Sorry the truth hurts you. Maybe you shouldn’t open your eyes and you’ll see why you can’t find a decent man.

I mean as long as women keep sleeping with men without a relationship why would we change up? There’s no reason to invest heavily in someone if I have their legs over my shoulders after one or two dates. I can keep living my life and keep myself free from headaches and when I need intimacy put in minimal effort and still get what I need.

And yes men, dress well, get in good shape and wash yourself so you smell nice. You do that and have a steady decent income you can basically get laid whenever you want.

Sounds like you have the answer you were looking for. Carry this wisdom back to your Reddit incel community, OP! We wish you well!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was so interesting:



So apparently women think all men are ugly. A thoroughly mid looking woman who rates only a 4-5 is probably looking for a man who is 6-7, which is basically an entire standard deviation or more away from the mean for how women are rating looks for men.

It seems like men evaluate the looks of women much more fairly given that the mean is about a 4/10, which should be expected (5/10). Women seem to have insane expectations for how their partners should look. I guess if you aren't Henry Cavill you're an instant 1 or 2. Modern dating cultures and apps have ruined all expectations, no doubt.

. Men are visual, it’s not surprise they find women more attractive. Women like different things.

At the end of the day just because a man thinks a woman is attractive and will sleep with him doesn’t mean he wants her as a partner.

Single moms for instance, most are for recreational use only, they may be hot and guys will sleep with them, but most guys won’t wife them up. No man wants to continue another man’s saved game because the women he’s sleeping with made bad decisions in the past.

Too much at stake and family courts are a mess. That’s why most women will be unmarried and childless now. Men don’t need marriage to sleep with women as they give it up easily anyways…why by the cow when you get the milk for free and all that.

My friend, back slowly away from the Internet. Maybe try a hike in the woods? You are not OK.

Sorry the truth hurts you. Maybe you shouldn’t open your eyes and you’ll see why you can’t find a decent man.

I mean as long as women keep sleeping with men without a relationship why would we change up? There’s no reason to invest heavily in someone if I have their legs over my shoulders after one or two dates. I can keep living my life and keep myself free from headaches and when I need intimacy put in minimal effort and still get what I need.

And yes men, dress well, get in good shape and wash yourself so you smell nice. You do that and have a steady decent income you can basically get laid whenever you want.

Sounds like you have the answer you were looking for. Carry this wisdom back to your Reddit incel community, OP! We wish you well!

As noted…you’re one of the women for recreational use only. As you’ve shown the only thing you “bring tincture table” is your body. And believe me when I say lots of women also bring that and it’s probably much better than yours.

I hope your budget in the future includes cat food and vet bills…you won’t be finding a guy who will be helping with those.

[Anonymous]

Lots of salty women. I’ll be investing in box wine and hallmark movies soon. Should make a killing in the next few years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, some women would rather be single than be in a relationship or have casual sex with a 2/10 guy who doesn’t have a good career to the point that they can’t do things like go out to nice restaurants or go on vacation, and who has a crappy attitude on top of all that. So start bringing more to the table outside of looks and your life will improve as a result. Not rocket science.

They bang married guys just to be able to bang a 7-9. Married guys aren’t picky and they will bang what is available and discreet. And women that had to marry guys as bland or unattractive as themselves cheat with married men for the sane reason.

[Anonymous]

From the original post:

If this graph seems a bit skewed, one reason may be that it is that a lot of data is pulled from online dating sites, and there may be some sampling bias that favors the less attractive side of the scale.

Another major factor is this, from the data source:

The original ratings were provided on a 7-point attractiveness scale, which I scaled and extrapolated to an 11-point attractiveness scale, from 0 (least attractive) to 10 (most attractive), such that 5 is the median.

Someone rated as a 1/7 would become a 0/10 based on this extrapolation.

But if you click through to the source's sources, the one allegedly using a 7-point scale (a blog post from 2009) states: "Our chart shows how men have rated women, on a scale from 0 to 5."

The figures in the sources doesn't really look that similar to the graph we see here.

Tinder data is also included. So somehow, swipe left/right is being extrapolated into a score out of 11.

It's total nonsense.

[Anonymous]

https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/1alibge/comment/kpf65ui/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you could look at this another way, OP. Most straight men really aren’t trying that hard to be attractive. I mean, this chart wouldn’t have the same curve for gay men, right?
So, if you can do the kinds of things gay men do to be attractive and get yourself to a 6-7, then you will be in the top 2-3% of straight men!

+1. This chart is a joke but does reflect some accurate opinions. But people aren't responding to innate attractiveness, it's the whole package. A very beautiful woman who dresses poorly, has a bad haircut, and poor hygiene, will not be rated as highly as the same woman in decent clothes with a good haircut and good hygiene.

A lot of men walk around with bad clothes that don't fit, bad haircuts or badly in need of a haircut, and subpar hygiene. Women don't find them attractive because they are putting zero effort into making women find them attractive. Even just the effort itself is attractive, because it signals to others that you think of yourself of worth of basic self-care, and that you are interested enough in dating that you are willing to spend 40 minutes in a dressing room twice a year to make sure your pants actually fit.

I'd say about 90% of men could improve their attractiveness rating in a week or less by simply putting in a little more effort. But men are socialized to believe that taking care of your appearance is "effeminate." Truly, toxic masculinity is holding y'all back. Guess what, all the "ruggedly handsome" men you idolize put a ton of effort into their appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attractiveness matters less to women than to men though, resources matter much more. You really think Elon musk is good looking? Men care about looks (because she’s more likely to be fertile and produce healthy offspring) women care about mens resources (because bearing and caring for children is a high resource vulnerability). This is evolutionary biology 101.

Elon Musk isn’t Adonis, but he is much better looking than a lot of men. He’s tall, has all of his hair and has an intelligent face. I’m not sure why you chose him as an example when there are Bezos and Gates.

He's 5'8", had a hair transplant, and has a face like a half-melted plastic Putin action figure. He's genuinely unnerving to look at. "Intelligent face", seriously?