Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As if she doesn’t know this about herself.

You think she doesn't know OP??
You think she doesn't own a mirror??
You don't think that SHE doesn't want to lose that weight??
You don't think she hates herself for gaining it??
You don't think the extra weight is killing her self esteem??

God, you are a total moron.

Nothing you say to her will come as a shock... the only shock I hope that occurs, is the look on your face when she tells you she's leaving you for being such a self-centered, vapid, shallow, egotistical moron.

Or ... she may prefer he body as it is and/or love it just the same as before, and is learning not to give a sh&t about her DH thinks ...

I still don’t know a woman that loves being fat. They may not be willing to make changes but still don’t not like how they look.

Someone with a 26 BMI is not fat.

I feel fat when my bmi is 23+

That’s because you have disordered thoughts around food and weight.

No, it's because I don't like how I look and feel at that weight. It affects how I move, my mood and my libido. Bmi of 22 is right for me. I look and feel great at that weight. Weight is a number and I have a range I'm comfortable at. I love food and eat well. Thanks for your concern.

I don’t care about you at all. I am more concerned for people who are your orbit hearing you call yourself fat when you are clearly nowhere near anyone’s definition, medical or otherwise. You are screwing up your daughters, if you have any. You can tell yourself whatever you want but you are.

I never called myself fat, I said I *feel* fat at 23+ bmi. Feeling fat, to me, means, I move slower, I don't sleep well, my body aches, I get tired from minimal exertion, I snore, I have zero sex drive and look doughy. A bmi of 22 is maybe 5-10 pounds and they make a world of difference to me.

Ok. So this is how I feel when I’m losing weight or maintaining at a lower than comfortable weight. I can’t sleep, I fatigue easily, I feel sad and depressed, and I have no sex drive. Plus, I am always always thinking about food. I start to buy cookbooks and read them for fun and watch the food network and have conversations that center around food.

I guess I look better, but it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

I don't have that problem. For me to lose weight, I cut out the junk foods, liquid calories and mindless snacking. Because I never get more than 10 pounds over, I can lose it in a couple of months without feeling deprived. I don't think about food outside of meal planning and cooking.

This is why thin people have no idea why it’s so hard for heavier people to lose. Heavier people think about food all day long. It’s a constant chatter in your mind. And being thinner for these people makes them feel terrible. Low energy, brain fog, headaches, irritability. For most, it’s just worth feeling terrible every day to be thin.

Wow. Do fat people really think thin people don’t think about food all day? That we are somehow immune to hunger? Crazy.

It was a reply to the previous poster who said she never thinks about food other than when meal planning or cooking.

[Anonymous]

If she loses it for you, she’ll resent you. She has to want it for herself.

Losing weight is generally much harder for women than men. My DH can not change his diet at all, but run 2 miles a day, and lose 15 lbs. I can’t. Exercise makes me feel good but dietary changes are what make me lose weight. DH doesn’t really understand this and wants to go out to eat, share ice cream or a bottle of wine, etc.

It’s also harder for women as they age and approach menopause. If your kids are 7 or 8 or older, and your wife was over 30 when she had them, she’s probably entering this time when it gets harder due to hormones. This happens even to many women who don’t have kids. It may be much more work than you realize. Also, she might be trying and you don’t know. If she thinks you’ll be critical or judgmental, she may not share with you from fear of ridicule or anger if she fails.

I think the real question is, is she happy. If she is, no amount of nagging from you will make her want to lose weight; but it sure could drive her away. I wouldn’t stay married to a man who criticized me. Maybe that’s your end goal so you can go sleep with a 20 year old with a tight body, but if so, own it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Same, girl. Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

That’s just you. In general overweight couples have less sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

That’s just you. In general overweight couples have less sex

I see overweight couples having kids so they must have sex some times. I think the people who are gonna stop having sex with a spouse that gains too much weight should tell their spouse this before they marry. If my DH said no sex after 40 pounds I would’ve never married him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

That’s just you. In general overweight couples have less sex

I see overweight couples having kids so they must have sex some times. I think the people who are gonna stop having sex with a spouse that gains too much weight should tell their spouse this before they marry. If my DH said no sex after 40 pounds I would’ve never married him.

He can’t dictate himself at 25 what his sexual desires would be at 45. If someone married you when you were 40 pounds thinner they will want you less for sure when you gain weight. Sure, you can divorce him if you want more sex . In my experience men dating in their 40-50s have way better sex life vs married. Many women just let themselves go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

That’s just you. In general overweight couples have less sex

I guess that across the population, this may be true. Because there are a lot of things that cause weight gain and decrease libido…pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause, depression, antidepressants, steroid medication, etc.

They aren’t having less sex because their partners cannot get turned on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Okay.
I have been with DH for 20 years (since I was 22), so I haven’t ever been with a man who has had erection issues. But my understanding is that it’s typically not a comment on his partner’s appearance.

That’s just you. In general overweight couples have less sex

I guess that across the population, this may be true. Because there are a lot of things that cause weight gain and decrease libido…pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause, depression, antidepressants, steroid medication, etc.

They aren’t having less sex because their partners cannot get turned on.

There is plentiful research just google -weight gain decreased couples libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

You would be wrong.

[Anonymous]

Maybe ask for a divorce? Or at least, that's what I hope she does since you seem like a sadistic prick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Overweight women are actually much healthier than the extremely underweight women many women hold up as the ideal. See which one has an easier time getting pregnant- that says it all about who's healthier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a European fit woman I don’t see how it would devastate me if my partner told he wanted me to become my former self. American women are full of s..t and self-justifying their poor eating habits.

Cut the racist bullshite

DP

I have an Italian gf and she straight up tells me if I’m getting a bit puffy in my midsection

She’ll poke / pinch and say:

“La Pancia” and shake her head

I’m foreign born and always tell my American BF that he’s got lazy when I see his belly getting pregnant. I’m thin with 27 inches mid section in my 40s. No tolerance to extra fat there. It made him work out and eat less. He knows I won’t stay with him if he gets fat

So you do not love him, you only are his "girlfriend" because you want to have sex with him and only if he has a specific body you've deemed acceptable.

OK then. As long as he understands you don't see him as a complete person but only as a body, and that if he were to, say, change physically due to illness, injury, etc., you will vanish. But surely you've made that clear, right?

If he gets sick - no, I’ll support him and accept less sex. But getting fat (not working out, hermit lifestyle with beer by TV ) is simply disrespectful to yourself and y

Wow, did you miss the point. You'll "support him and accept less sex"? OK, for how long? How long would you condescendingly "accept" less sex? What about no sex, if he were injured in a way he couldn't have sex at all? You'd be out of there sooner rather than later. And you'd probably say on the way out the door that you know it's what he'd want for you....

And you totally missed the idea that some illnesses can make people gain weight, weight they may never lose. Some medications do this too. Some conditions and injuries cause weight gain and other issues of appearance that can't necessarily be changed. I wonder how long you'd nobly support him before you eased on out the door because he could no longer, say, work out enough to keep as trim as you want.

Let’s be honest here - most men will dump the wife if she gets sick. This thread is not about extreme situations- it’s about people who consider themselves healthy and justify their chosen lifestyle: be overweight .
Which, of course, if a health risk long term

Being overweight isn’t a health risk long term. I mean, maybe a minor one, but it isn’t the health risk that say, being a skier is. (It certainly doesn’t affect your life insurance premiums in the same way!!)

It’s a risk your partner won’t want you sexually anymore. Partner might be ok taking care of you, being moral etc - but you can’t force people be sexual around you if they want want you, based on your understanding of morality. It’s just there or not.
So if someone choses to be overweight they shouldn’t shift the blame for their choices on partner for him/her being “immoral” for not wanting them anymore.

Just live with consequences yourself - others don’t owe you feelings no matter married or not.

Sure. The same could be said for cutting your hair short when your partner likes long hair or not wearing makeup or lingerie when you know your spouse likes it. You make that choice and you have to live with the consequences.

I’m a woman and couldn’t care less if a man has hair or not. Being overweight is a major turn off - just don’t get wet for him. We are programmed to sleep with healthier partners by nature. Similarly, I can imagine men would have erection issues with overweight partners

Overweight women are actually much healthier than the extremely underweight women many women hold up as the ideal. See which one has an easier time getting pregnant- that says it all about who's healthier.

What about comparing overweight women pregnancy chances vs those within normal BMI ? Being overweight can be life threatening during pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe ask for a divorce? Or at least, that's what I hope she does since you seem like a sadistic prick.

79% chance he makes more money so no, she won’t ask for divorce. He can though