what is with parents serving alcohol at parties for kids who are 15 and 16?

[Anonymous]

I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'm blown away by the permissiveness. For American parents it's just bad parenting. Full stop. They're parents that want to be friends with their kids and cooler than their parents were 30 years ago. The legal risk is insane. And my kid comes home from these house parties with stories of substantial theft and property damage caused by the drunken teens.

[Anonymous]

So sad... No wonder these kids are overdosing on pills and everything else. Being the cool parent is the in thing vs being responsible.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone that says this is reckless behavior and I too would report it. However, it's not new. I remember attending a party as a highschooler 25 years ago and the parents were supplying the alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The parents should’ve been more exclusive about who they invited. We often get complaints about being cliquey, but the people excluded would react horribly to being invited. Some of us are ok with kids drinking small amounts of alcohol. I grew up in Europe and have had beers with teachers. I think it’s much healthier. The students never do more than sip respectfully. I’d rather be with them during these first, tepid encounters than have them have nothing, to go college, and encounter it for the first time at an American frat house.

You think you are the cool parent, but the teens are laughing at you behind their back. My DC goes to these parties (as do we), and then comes home and laughs about the parents who never grew up and don't know how to act like parents. You should not be deciding for other parents whether their kid can drink. End of story.

Agreed no one should decide for other parents. Hence the mistake the parents throwing the parties described here have made the mistake of inviting the wrong people.

[Anonymous]

Not just a private school thing. There was a huge QO party last year broken up by the cops. The kids hosting the party were sophomores. Their parents were home and either allowed the alcohol or provided it and were drinking too. They didn't even try to be discreet. It was in the backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
For what it's worth, the host families at these things (I'm thinking of 6 families) are all very white-bread Americans.

When this has occurred, I’ve assumed the parents are alcoholics. Almost as bad were parents serving “mocktails” pre-homecoming dance. I thought it was glamorizing alcohol.

Signed,
The strictest and meanest Mom in Bethesda

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not just a private school thing. There was a huge QO party last year broken up by the cops. The kids hosting the party were sophomores. Their parents were home and either allowed the alcohol or provided it and were drinking too. They didn't even try to be discreet. It was in the backyard.

I recall a few years ago after the Gansburger fiasco in Bethany, they started charging parents and fining them thousands of dollars. Has that stopped?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious how others react if they find out a parent does this. I found out one of my teen’s friends’ parents let them drink alcohol and use weed products several times at their house (they weren’t sneaking it-parent was fully aware) during when they were just turned 16. I’ve had the rule my child can’t spend time in that house. Reasonable?

Absolutely more than reasonable. The “weed products” outrage me even more. vaping and edibles are huge problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

Every single one of those parents was knowingly violating the law. I bet none of them were Black. These people play by different rules and are the type of people who believe they are above the law. I would never ever trust any of them or do business of any kind with them. In our family, we teach that you may not like the law, so you can work to change the law. You may not act like the law does not apply to you. How disgusting and privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids at two different Big3 schools.
This past week (end of year parties and grad parties) each of my kids has been invited to KID ONLY parties
where the parents bought alcohol. The kids at one party were 15-16. The other ones were grad parties so the kids were 17-18.
The parents bought the alcohol (not the kids sneaking in). The parents had ice buckets of ice seltzer, etc for age 15+ kids.
They're not tiny parties either (like just the popular or wild kids or anything like that).
It's a normal cross section of the classes.

Am I hopelessly out of touch? My kids say "it's a private school thing mom. All the parents do it."
Is this true?
I am not judging (well I guess I am) but I'm still sending my kids to these things so I guess I'm not really judging.

And if you say "this never happens", I'd encourage you to dig deeper.
My daughter was at a 10th grade girls-only pool party yesterday afternoon and I thought I knew the mom.
I never would have even thought to ask my kid "was there alcohol at this girls-only (no boys were there) afternoon pool party?
I mean, huh?
And yet there was!! She served the kids hard seltzer.

What have you seen? Appreciate any perspectives.
Thanks you much.

Let me cut to the chase. Parents who serve alcohol to underage children are terrible parents who lack sound judgment. If I find out that you’re one of those parents, I will publicly bad-mouth you and my children will never cross the threshold of your home again. The End.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

This is different than OP's story. 10th graders, drop off pool party, one parent serving all of the teens (including teen drivers), no other parents present to approve or not, parents who dropped off were unaware that alcohol was being served.

I'd be PIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

Way to quiet flex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
For what it's worth, the host families at these things (I'm thinking of 6 families) are all very white-bread Americans.

When this has occurred, I’ve assumed the parents are alcoholics. Almost as bad were parents serving “mocktails” pre-homecoming dance. I thought it was glamorizing alcohol.

Signed,
The strictest and meanest Mom in Bethesda

I hate the mocktails for kids and agree about them glamorizing alcohol. And I grew up drinking Shirley Temple’s right up on the barstool while my dad chatted with his business partners…I thought it was incredibly glamorous back then!

Even my BIL, an alcoholic clean for 10+ years and his wife serve their kids sparkling grape juice in champagne flutes on NYE. They even photograph everyone toasting and cheering and acting silly with their glasses. I just don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

You’re in an echo chamber. There are responsible parents out there; their kids probably aren’t allowed to hang out with your kid, so you’re not at their grad parties.