what is with parents serving alcohol at parties for kids who are 15 and 16?

[Anonymous]

Wow, DC doesn’t have a social host law? I know two sets of parents in NY who were legally responsible for their kid's hosting parties with alcohol. One set of parents claimed they were unaware of the alcohol. Their kid was 15 and approx 30 kids were in their yard. Parents were inside home. The other parent (dad), was aware of alcohol consumption in his home. It was a HS grad party. He claimed it was only beer consumption which he did not provide. Unfortunately, one kid passed out and he called 911. Dad was charged under social host law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

The dissonance here is interesting. Fine for 18 year olds to get served...but 16 year olds ridiculous? I bet most of the parents of these parties you attended were also serving them as 16 year olds...but that would be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

Why do you feel that way? Teens drink abroad.

Then they can go abroad and drink.

Americans are truly backwards puritans.

I am not against a 16 year old having a drink at dinner with their family, but I am against other peoples parents giving it to my kid and allowing kids to get hammered on their watch. I know kids who are drinking to excess every weekend and it’s parents providing the alcohol. I hope that none of those kids have a genetic predisposition to addiction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

You’re in an echo chamber. There are responsible parents out there; their kids probably aren’t allowed to hang out with your kid, so you’re not at their grad parties.

Zero tolerance parents are also in an echo chamber. The mistake host parents' made was thinking that these groups should mix. Maybe they shouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

You’re in an echo chamber. There are responsible parents out there; their kids probably aren’t allowed to hang out with your kid, so you’re not at their grad parties.

Zero tolerance parents are also in an echo chamber. The mistake host parents' made was thinking that these groups should mix. Maybe they shouldn't.

They shouldn’t. If you’re an adult who thinks it’s appropriate to serve underage children alcohol, without parental permission, do NOT invite my child to any event you’re hosting. I’m happy to let my child know the bullets she’s dodging (possible sexual assault while under the influence, addiction, rehab, DUIs, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

You’re in an echo chamber. There are responsible parents out there; their kids probably aren’t allowed to hang out with your kid, so you’re not at their grad parties.

Zero tolerance parents are also in an echo chamber. The mistake host parents' made was thinking that these groups should mix. Maybe they shouldn't.

Well, yes-that’s obvious isn’t it? If you want to introduce alcohol and drugs to your 15 year old I think it’s foolish but go ahead-the problem is when you give to other people’s 15 year olds without parents knowledge or consent.

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed by both extremes here.

I absolutely don’t think parents should be serving alcohol to high schoolers. I’ve been to 7 grad parties in the last two weeks and none were serving the teenagers alcohol.

I also see absolutely nothing wrong with mocktails or non-alcoholic drinks in champagne glasses for teenagers. I don’t think it glamorizes alcohol, to the contrary I think it shows that not all fancy drinks need to include alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have attended about a dozen Senior graduation parties in the last two weeks, both from public and private school parents that where hosting the parties.

Yes, alcohol was served to graduating seniors at every party I attended. Parents were at all events and the kids were not ever over served and the parents checked in with their kids to see how they were doing.

Every family I know has a hard rule that if you have had a drink. or if any of your friends have been drinking, you may not get in the car with them. No questions asked, take an Uber home.

I guess it's different for everyone. We can afford to pay for Ubers so we are lucky. Not everyone can afford that luxury.

My kid is off to college in a few months. I'm sure it's going to be a learning experience. It was for me.

lastly I will say. parents serving 16 year old kids alcohol are ridiculous and should not be doing that!

Is your child who graduated male or female? I would be extremely worried about my teenaged daughter getting an Uber by herself, and especially so if she’d been drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

OP here.
YES!!! They are hosting the parties, with ice buckets on the patio and are handing the kids drinks.
This is not basement drinking or the sort.
None of these families are Europeans so please don't derail the thread with that line of thinking. Ironically, if anyone is a "European" I am (immigrated as a very young child).

The pool party yesterday was for 10th grade girls. The mom served 16 year old girls hard seltzer from the side of their pool.

How did your dd get home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just the private schools, OP. There are families in public schools who allow this, also. The alcohol is in the basement parties, much like decades prior.

I was coming on here to say the exact same thing. I have been to grad parties in N Arlington and alcohol is served openly to teens.

I am from Europe (my kids are first generation) and I would never serve alcohol to minors at our home. If my kids were to ever have friends over where alcohol was snuck in and I caught them I would call each parent and have them come pick up their child. We also never leave our kids alone if we go out of town.

According to our kids, we are "the only parents who are so strict." First of all, I know that's not true and second of all I don't give a flying ****.

I have been doing a lot of reading on drug/alcohol abuse by teens and there is research out there that if kids use alcohol to numb their pain when experiencing discomfort they will never mature past the age when they started drinking heavily. We talk to our kids about drugs/alcohol all the time and talk about it in terms of safety and brain development.

I’m with you PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m amazed by both extremes here.

I absolutely don’t think parents should be serving alcohol to high schoolers. I’ve been to 7 grad parties in the last two weeks and none were serving the teenagers alcohol.

I also see absolutely nothing wrong with mocktails or non-alcoholic drinks in champagne glasses for teenagers. I don’t think it glamorizes alcohol, to the contrary I think it shows that not all fancy drinks need to include alcohol.

Agree.

Also, I'd be incredibly suspicious of any adult who wanted to serve alcohol to minors. Especially at a pool party. It feels very groom-y. What other adults were there? What sort of photos were being taken?
Didn't some rich lady just get arrested for child pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
For what it's worth, the host families at these things (I'm thinking of 6 families) are all very white-bread Americans.

When this has occurred, I’ve assumed the parents are alcoholics. Almost as bad were parents serving “mocktails” pre-homecoming dance. I thought it was glamorizing alcohol.

Signed,
The strictest and meanest Mom in Bethesda

Are you my twin? My teens have bestowed that title on me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just not a big deal to me since my kid is going to college in about 75 days. I don’t serve alcohol to high school kids, but my DC has been to about 7 grad parties in the last week and all had bartenders serving the kids. Literally EVERY ONE. Everyone takes Ubers. I don’t think this is strictly a private school thing. Our neighbors send their kids to the local public school and hosted a grad party last weekend. Parents were mingling with kids - all drinking.

Agree with you. We have hosted teen parties in the basement for 15 year olds and have not served any alcohol, but these kids are resourceful and get older siblings to buy it for them. No driving - everyone picked up by a parent or an Uber.

Side note, we are at the public school. Ironically, the private school kids have been the worst in terms of respecting our home and belongings.

Even with the damage, I will let my kids host again. Many of today's teens are lagging socially especially after the pandemic. Where are these kids supposed to hang out? Hanging out with friends face to face versus texting via your smart phone is good for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not just the private schools, OP. There are families in public schools who allow this, also. The alcohol is in the basement parties, much like decades prior.

I was coming on here to say the exact same thing. I have been to grad parties in N Arlington and alcohol is served openly to teens.

I am from Europe (my kids are first generation) and I would never serve alcohol to minors at our home. If my kids were to ever have friends over where alcohol was snuck in and I caught them I would call each parent and have them come pick up their child. We also never leave our kids alone if we go out of town.

According to our kids, we are "the only parents who are so strict." First of all, I know that's not true and second of all I don't give a flying ****.

I have been doing a lot of reading on drug/alcohol abuse by teens and there is research out there that if kids use alcohol to numb their pain when experiencing discomfort they will never mature past the age when they started drinking heavily. We talk to our kids about drugs/alcohol all the time and talk about it in terms of safety and brain development.

Anecdata, but I see this with adults I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools tend to draw a more cosmopolitan, international crowd that understands there’s nothing wrong with teenagers drinking like they do abroad.

What part of it being illegal tracks to your "nothing wrong"?