what is with parents serving alcohol at parties for kids who are 15 and 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people aren’t talking more about the liability! I don’t think it’s okay for other parents to make this decision for my child. I assume my kid will drink in high school and I hope she’ll exercise good judgement, I think it’s many levels of crazy to allow it to happen in your own home though…. My 9th grader was just at her first party with alcohol (parents upstairs, clueless? Pretending not to know?). I’m not calling the cops on them, but I’m definitely judging them to be crappy parents.

Very crappy.

This was all shocking to me up until recently. Just Found out that two families have been allowing kids to get drunk at their house since they were in 9th grade. One of the kids is mean and uses the parties to get power in and to decide who is in and who is out of the social crowd. Parents encourage and allow it.

This sounds like Flint Hill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people aren’t talking more about the liability! I don’t think it’s okay for other parents to make this decision for my child. I assume my kid will drink in high school and I hope she’ll exercise good judgement, I think it’s many levels of crazy to allow it to happen in your own home though…. My 9th grader was just at her first party with alcohol (parents upstairs, clueless? Pretending not to know?). I’m not calling the cops on them, but I’m definitely judging them to be crappy parents.

Very crappy.

This was all shocking to me up until recently. Just Found out that two families have been allowing kids to get drunk at their house since they were in 9th grade. One of the kids is mean and uses the parties to get power in and to decide who is in and who is out of the social crowd. Parents encourage and allow it.

This sounds like Flint Hill.

I do not believe any of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people aren’t talking more about the liability! I don’t think it’s okay for other parents to make this decision for my child. I assume my kid will drink in high school and I hope she’ll exercise good judgement, I think it’s many levels of crazy to allow it to happen in your own home though…. My 9th grader was just at her first party with alcohol (parents upstairs, clueless? Pretending not to know?). I’m not calling the cops on them, but I’m definitely judging them to be crappy parents.

Very crappy.

This was all shocking to me up until recently. Just Found out that two families have been allowing kids to get drunk at their house since they were in 9th grade. One of the kids is mean and uses the parties to get power in and to decide who is in and who is out of the social crowd. Parents encourage and allow it.

This sounds like Flint Hill.

Then you clearly don't know anything about Flint Hill.


I do not believe any of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids at two different Big3 schools.
This past week (end of year parties and grad parties) each of my kids has been invited to KID ONLY parties
where the parents bought alcohol. The kids at one party were 15-16. The other ones were grad parties so the kids were 17-18.
The parents bought the alcohol (not the kids sneaking in). The parents had ice buckets of ice seltzer, etc for age 15+ kids.
They're not tiny parties either (like just the popular or wild kids or anything like that).
It's a normal cross section of the classes.

Am I hopelessly out of touch? My kids say "it's a private school thing mom. All the parents do it."
Is this true?
I am not judging (well I guess I am) but I'm still sending my kids to these things so I guess I'm not really judging.

And if you say "this never happens", I'd encourage you to dig deeper.
My daughter was at a 10th grade girls-only pool party yesterday afternoon and I thought I knew the mom.
I never would have even thought to ask my kid "was there alcohol at this girls-only (no boys were there) afternoon pool party?
I mean, huh?
And yet there was!! She served the kids hard seltzer.

What have you seen? Appreciate any perspectives.
Thanks you much.

Was this the coed darty? My friend's daughter was also at a pool party but it was coed and when she picked up her daughter her daughter was drunk and vomitted on the way home from the party. She was completely shocked as it was a pool party during the day.

[Anonymous]

Totally separate from the question of youth brain development, anyone doing this or allowing this (knowingly) to occur on their property is putting themselves at huge liability risk (serving minors other than their own children).

A kid slips and breaks their leg; someone accidentally (and accidents happen even sober) runs a stop sign and hits someone else after leaving said house; someone drowns; allegations of sexual assault — the parent providing the alcohol could face significant (as in $XX Million) civil liability, not to mention criminal.

Umbrella policies, homeowners insurance, etc will NOT cover these or fund defense — the parent knowingly disregarded laws about drinking and minors.

I know of a family (another area) where the parents lost $5M+, including their house/retirement/savings/trust , after a kid leaving their house, where parents provided alcohol, was involved in a car accident that injured another party. The kid’s alcohol level was BELOW the legal limit for DUI/DWI however the insurance company for the injured party went after the parents/property owners where the minor was illegally served.

Their insurance would NOT protect them as they willingly and knowingly broke the law in doing so.

This is just risk management 1.0.

[Anonymous]

Here’s the situation. I’ve been through this on a few occasions.

1. Your children are unable to stop this from occurring. If they have a party other kids are going to try and either arrive drunk or bring in booze. Impossible you say? Try vodka and gin in water bottles.

2. Limit the attendees and invite other parents to chaperone too. This works wonders and yes many parents are clueless. Explain to your kid that it’s a liability issue.

3. The popular house is usually the home of the clueless parents. Hard to believe they exist but they do exist.

[Anonymous]

St. John’s?

[Anonymous]

So many of the parties my kid goes to have alcohol and the parents are there on premises. Not serving, but looking the other way.

We have had many talks about this with our kid and they thin we are is uptight b/c "everybody's parents" let them drink.

Of course this is not true, but it is very, very common. (Bethesda and NW DC).

My kiddo is going to a party tonight where there will be alcohol. they know not to drink and we are picking them up at a reasonable hour, but it is very tough to parent when other parents don't hold the same standard. I have been brushed off by several parents when I tried to give them a heads up about drinking and weed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of the parties my kid goes to have alcohol and the parents are there on premises. Not serving, but looking the other way.

We have had many talks about this with our kid and they thin we are is uptight b/c "everybody's parents" let them drink.

Of course this is not true, but it is very, very common. (Bethesda and NW DC).

My kiddo is going to a party tonight where there will be alcohol. they know not to drink and we are picking them up at a reasonable hour, but it is very tough to parent when other parents don't hold the same standard. I have been brushed off by several parents when I tried to give them a heads up about drinking and weed.

As a parent who sounds similar to you pp, why do you think there are so many lax/neglectful parents? And make no mistake, allowing 15 and 16 years kids to drink is neglectful. I have parent friends who have said they will drink and smoke weed with their kids so that their kids can experience drugs and alcohol in a safe environment. I don't agree with it, but it's up to them to do that with kids but not mine. When did it become ok to endanger other kids? Where is the school involvement? I went to a DC private, went to a party in 8th grade where 3 or 4 kids out of 15 or 20 were drinking and smoking cigarettes. The following Monday, the school brought each kid into to speak with the head, no more such parties were held that year. Lastly, there is a lot of media talent whose kids are engaging in this behavior, how are they unconcerned about this behavior leaking out? My guess is they protect their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with all the posts saying that it's ok in Europe or they did it growing up, now there is social media and ramifications for school attendance even if incidents happen outside of school. I'd be livid if my kid was photographed at a party drinking alcohol provided by parents, and was subsequently suspended/expelled from school. Would be so much better if parents were a united front against alcohol, but based on the comments here that will obviously never happen...

The problem with the posts saying it's ok in Europe is that it is almost exclusively people who know nothing about Europe, or have taken 2 vacations there. So far only one or two people have seem to actually BE FROM there, and are not in favor of it. Others make vague statements about "having grown up in Europe". Sure. Sure, you did. Scared of being outed on a forum this big because you say you're originally from France? Here? There are more than 10,000 French nationals in DC. (randomly selected France)

People on this board spout nonsense about how rich and cosmopolitan they are and that they take yearly two week trips to Europe so they know it's a utopia where nothing bad happens, children happily drink with no problems, and there's no rape at all. It's... embarrassing to say the least.

[Anonymous]

We discovered DC and friends had alcohol in our home. DC was grounded for a time. What was shocking to me is the number of friends who said parents found out about a similar situation and nothing happened. There were no repercussions. SMH

[Anonymous]

This discussion seems pointless bc there seem to be multiple situations all lumped under “parent sanctioned alcohol”

1 - kids throw a party, sneak alcohol in and either no repercussions or parents don’t officially find out. This is what I think of as typical hs experience - basically kids are operating on a don’t ask/don’t tell parental willful ignorance type relationship

2- parents serve their own child limited alcohol (beer or wine) at family dinners or at home to demonstrate or practice responsible, measured drinking in social situations - what many glorify as “so European”

3 - the situation OP raised where adults knowingly and intentionally provide alcohol to underage kids not related to them.

#3 seems rife with liability, not to mention it’s stunningly hypocritical. If parents don’t want strangers reprimanding junior on the playgroundsound or otherwise parenting their kid, they should not be providing alcohol unless they have received permission from other parents.

[Anonymous]

Kids these days watch too much archival C-SPAN coverage of Supreme Court confirmation hearings and think it's 'cool' to drink.