what is with parents serving alcohol at parties for kids who are 15 and 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

OP here.
YES!!! They are hosting the parties, with ice buckets on the patio and are handing the kids drinks.
This is not basement drinking or the sort.
None of these families are Europeans so please don't derail the thread with that line of thinking. Ironically, if anyone is a "European" I am (immigrated as a very young child).

he pool party yesterday was for 10th grade girls. The mom served 16 year old girls hard seltzer from the side of their pool.

Were you there? Did you say anything to the mom? I'm really disgusted. I feel sorry for my kids, yours, and everyone else's. Very backwards times. Also of note, when kids drink, or anyone from that matter, their judgement gets thrown out the window which means they are more likely to try things like drugs that may very well be laced with fentanyl which means they could die. Think about that too cool parents who serve alcohol to minors.

Same thing can happen to anyone drinking alcohol, anywhere.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP. I can't believe parents would serve alcohol to other people's kids without their parents' approval. Especially when some of the kids drove themselves to the party. I'm 100% judging. It's just bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

OP here.
YES!!! They are hosting the parties, with ice buckets on the patio and are handing the kids drinks.
This is not basement drinking or the sort.
None of these families are Europeans so please don't derail the thread with that line of thinking. Ironically, if anyone is a "European" I am (immigrated as a very young child).

he pool party yesterday was for 10th grade girls. The mom served 16 year old girls hard seltzer from the side of their pool.

Were you there? Did you say anything to the mom? I'm really disgusted. I feel sorry for my kids, yours, and everyone else's. Very backwards times. Also of note, when kids drink, or anyone from that matter, their judgement gets thrown out the window which means they are more likely to try things like drugs that may very well be laced with fentanyl which means they could die. Think about that too cool parents who serve alcohol to minors.

OP here. No, it was a drop-off event (that or some kids drove themselves).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

OP here.
YES!!! They are hosting the parties, with ice buckets on the patio and are handing the kids drinks.
This is not basement drinking or the sort.
None of these families are Europeans so please don't derail the thread with that line of thinking. Ironically, if anyone is a "European" I am (immigrated as a very young child).


he pool party yesterday was for 10th grade girls. The mom served 16 year old girls hard seltzer from the side of their pool.

Were you there? Did you say anything to the mom? I'm really disgusted. I feel sorry for my kids, yours, and everyone else's. Very backwards times. Also of note, when kids drink, or anyone from that matter, their judgement gets thrown out the window which means they are more likely to try things like drugs that may very well be laced with fentanyl which means they could die. Think about that too cool parents who serve alcohol to minors.

Same thing can happen to anyone drinking alcohol, anywhere.

Ok. In that case let's just offer drugs and alcohol at middle school and elementary school graduations too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

Why do you feel that way? Teens drink abroad.

And this is relevant how? This idealization of anything European is ridiculous. European teens have their own issues with drugs and alcohol and the consequences that flow from these actions--DUI's, rape, depression, poor grades, etc. Throwing alcohol into the mix of hormone crazy developing teenage boys and girls is like throwing a match onto to gasoline. They already naturally have impulse control and judgement issues by virtue of their age. Do these alcohol host parents want another Kavanaugh situation on their hands? And unlike the 80's, ALL the kids have phones, everything is documented. JUST SO STUPID and immoral on so many levels. Where are the adults. arrested development at its best.

Most European teens don’t drive. Public transportation is robust and areas are very walkable.

Well that changes everything

It does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the parents present at these parties? Just from a liability perspective, I'm flabbergasted. Especially with so many of the parents being lawyers. I know these parties do exist and it makes me sad. Why on earth are people encouraging their much to young teenagers to be drinking? Study after study shows how dangerous drinking in highschool is both in the short and long term.

Is this born out of a need for the parents to feel cool? Parents who provide alcohol to minors please explain your though process. I'm a parent who will call the cops on one of these parties. It's just fundamentally wrong on so many levels to be serving 14 to 18 year old alcohol.

Why do you feel that way? Teens drink abroad.

And this is relevant how? This idealization of anything European is ridiculous. European teens have their own issues with drugs and alcohol and the consequences that flow from these actions--DUI's, rape, depression, poor grades, etc. Throwing alcohol into the mix of hormone crazy developing teenage boys and girls is like throwing a match onto to gasoline. They already naturally have impulse control and judgement issues by virtue of their age. Do these alcohol host parents want another Kavanaugh situation on their hands? And unlike the 80's, ALL the kids have phones, everything is documented. JUST SO STUPID and immoral on so many levels. Where are the adults. arrested development at its best.

Most European teens don’t drive. Public transportation is robust and areas are very walkable.

Well that changes everything

It does.

Hmm--depression, rape, poor grades, other alcohol induced injuries (swimming under the influence and drowning, passing out and getting a concussion, the list goes on). You don't make sense pp. When teens start to drink their brain formation and chemistry changes. And make no mistake, we are not talking about a glass of table wine occasionally we with mom and dad, these teens to drink to get buzzed or very often, blackout drunk. Not sure what rock you've been living under. Drinking as a teen no matter where in the world you live is problematic.

[Anonymous]

I actually don’t think this is in the right forum, because this issue (and it is definitely an issue) is not limited to private schools. Remember the teens in North Potomac who died about 5 years ago after a house party hosted by a public school family? I remember going to a daytime grad party for a neighbor several years ago and there was a bar set up for the kids. I couldn’t believe it, but obviously many parents think it’s fine.

[Anonymous]

If any of those kids got into a car accident hurting themselves or another person the parents who served alcohol are responsible. This is crazy. This sends the wrong message too. I'm telling my kids you can't drink but now this parent is sending the message no you're parents are just not cool as me.

[Anonymous]

Ehhh parents have complained about this since time eternal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ehhh parents have complained about this since time eternal.

Not really, I was in a dc private high school in the late 90's and no parents ever served alcohol to minors period. Maybe kids snuck alcohol but very different from parents drinking with their kids and condoning it.

[Anonymous]

Alcohol affects teen brains differently than those of adults:

https://www.talkitoutnc.org/alcohol-developing-brain/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids at two different Big3 schools.
This past week (end of year parties and grad parties) each of my kids has been invited to KID ONLY parties
where the parents bought alcohol. The kids at one party were 15-16. The other ones were grad parties so the kids were 17-18.
The parents bought the alcohol (not the kids sneaking in). The parents had ice buckets of ice seltzer, etc for age 15+ kids.
They're not tiny parties either (like just the popular or wild kids or anything like that).
It's a normal cross section of the classes.

Am I hopelessly out of touch? My kids say "it's a private school thing mom. All the parents do it."
Is this true?
I am not judging (well I guess I am) but I'm still sending my kids to these things so I guess I'm not really judging.

And if you say "this never happens", I'd encourage you to dig deeper.
My daughter was at a 10th grade girls-only pool party yesterday afternoon and I thought I knew the mom.
I never would have even thought to ask my kid "was there alcohol at this girls-only (no boys were there) afternoon pool party?
I mean, huh?
And yet there was!! She served the kids hard seltzer.

What have you seen? Appreciate any perspectives.
Thanks you much.

Let me cut to the chase. Parents who serve alcohol to underage children are terrible parents who lack sound judgment. If I find out that you’re one of those parents, I will publicly bad-mouth you and my children will never cross the threshold of your home again. The End.

[Anonymous]

The parents should’ve been more exclusive about who they invited. We often get complaints about being cliquey, but the people excluded would react horribly to being invited. Some of us are ok with kids drinking small amounts of alcohol. I grew up in Europe and have had beers with teachers. I think it’s much healthier. The students never do more than sip respectfully. I’d rather be with them during these first, tepid encounters than have them have nothing, to go college, and encounter it for the first time at an American frat house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids at two different Big3 schools.
This past week (end of year parties and grad parties) each of my kids has been invited to KID ONLY parties
where the parents bought alcohol. The kids at one party were 15-16. The other ones were grad parties so the kids were 17-18.
The parents bought the alcohol (not the kids sneaking in). The parents had ice buckets of ice seltzer, etc for age 15+ kids.
They're not tiny parties either (like just the popular or wild kids or anything like that).
It's a normal cross section of the classes.

Am I hopelessly out of touch? My kids say "it's a private school thing mom. All the parents do it."
Is this true?
I am not judging (well I guess I am) but I'm still sending my kids to these things so I guess I'm not really judging.

And if you say "this never happens", I'd encourage you to dig deeper.
My daughter was at a 10th grade girls-only pool party yesterday afternoon and I thought I knew the mom.
I never would have even thought to ask my kid "was there alcohol at this girls-only (no boys were there) afternoon pool party?
I mean, huh?
And yet there was!! She served the kids hard seltzer.

What have you seen? Appreciate any perspectives.
Thanks you much.

Let me cut to the chase. Parents who serve alcohol to underage children are terrible parents who lack sound judgment. If I find out that you’re one of those parents, I will publicly bad-mouth you and my children will never cross the threshold of your home again. The End.

I would do the same. I don't mind at all if other parents serve alcohol to their own kids. Presumably you know your kids better than I do and if you think they can handle it, I'm inclined to believe you. I am foreign-born and my own parents let me have small amounts of alcohol as a teen. But if you serve alcohol to a bunch of kids at a party, unless you have permission from each and every single kids' parent there, this is an irresponsible and classless move and I will bad-mouth you far and wide.

[Anonymous]

This is just not a big deal to me since my kid is going to college in about 75 days. I don’t serve alcohol to high school kids, but my DC has been to about 7 grad parties in the last week and all had bartenders serving the kids. Literally EVERY ONE. Everyone takes Ubers. I don’t think this is strictly a private school thing. Our neighbors send their kids to the local public school and hosted a grad party last weekend. Parents were mingling with kids - all drinking.