How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only mild concern I have is with girls, possibly starting their periods early. My friend growing up (YES, holding back/redshirting was a thing almost 40 years ago too!) was redshirted with a late spring birthday, I think May or June, and she started her period when she was in 5th grade at 11. Which is a typical age to start but not sure how well the elementary school was prepared for it. But it’s probably different these days with puberty happening earlier in general.

I think you just can’t know in advance! Speaking of outdated anecdotes, when I was in elementary school (30 some years ago), I also started my period at 11 in 5th grade. I have a March birthday and went on time - no redshirting at issue at all. It wasn’t ideal, but we dealt with it. I wouldn’t let this be a big consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only mild concern I have is with girls, possibly starting their periods early. My friend growing up (YES, holding back/redshirting was a thing almost 40 years ago too!) was redshirted with a late spring birthday, I think May or June, and she started her period when she was in 5th grade at 11. Which is a typical age to start but not sure how well the elementary school was prepared for it. But it’s probably different these days with puberty happening earlier in general.

I think this is different these days. I see plenty of 3-4th graders with breast buds, so presumably they're getting their periods 2ish years after that. And OP's child is a summer birthday, even if she did redshirt there would be plenty of fall birthdays only a few months older than her.

[Anonymous]

OP, in your DD's situation, I think that redshirting makes sense. Issues like ADHD can have a greater impact as school work becomes more challenging around middle school, so delaying her start by a year will benefit her. I also think that considering size makes sense, as it can be a disadvantage to be the tallest and most developed girl in the grade.

As a parent of two kids with late August birthdays, including one with small stature and ADHD, I regret not holding them back a year. They would not have been older than most of the class, as they have many friends born in September and October who are basically the same age. In addition to individual considerations, there are some real drawbacks to being on the younger side of a grade. I've seen numerous jobs and other summer opportunities that my kids were not eligible for because they were not the age of their peers during the summer. My DD wanted to take a pre-college course in her preferred field after her sophomore year of high school, but because she was not 16 at the time of the course, she couldn't. There are only so many summers before college, and being born in August limits what you can do during those summers. My DD applied for a senior camp counselor job this summer, as she was a junior counselor in the past. However, even though she just graduated from high school, she is still only eligible to be a junior counselor because she is not yet 18. A late August birthday also means that they will be the last to get their driver's license.

We've known plenty of redshirted kids over the years, and no one cares at all. If you think it makes sense for your DD, do it.

[Anonymous]

My son with significant ADHD/Anxiety/ASD has a May bday. I wanted to redshirt him. I was told he was ready for K and not to do that to him.

At the end of K, he went to 1st with his friends. Academically, he was fine. Socially, he was already behind. I considered going to a Balt private for Pre-First but the commute would be too much.

He's now in 7th. Academically he is above grade level. Socially he is more like a 4th grader. He's about 3 yrs behind his peers.

There are multiple points to retain a child. I think the earlier, the longer they have to utilize and solidify the skills they are learning. I'm leaning towards public 9th and then reclassing at a supportive private. I will probably look for a school that has a PG year and utilize that as well. So yes, by the time he gets to college, he will be 2 years older than his classmates but he will only be a year behind them socially. At his current growth trajectory he will not be ready to go away to college at 18.

Of course a lot can change in HS and I will revisit this plan each year and tweek based on his current needs. In hindsight, I really wished I had pushed to redshirt him for K.

[Anonymous]

My son is at an OOS university in a state with a later kindergarten cutoff. Most kids just assume he's been redshirted. I guess he'll be popular next year when he's among the first to turn 21

[Anonymous]

I’m not going to read 11 pages of crazy but here to confirm that it’s common, kids have birthdays at different times of year, and no one notices/cares. My kid liked being on the older side

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not going to read 11 pages of crazy but here to confirm that it’s common, kids have birthdays at different times of year, and no one notices/cares. My kid liked being on the older side

I'll also add with 100% certainty that if you have a kid with social, emotional, or behavioral, or academic challenges, no one, including teachers or other kids, notices or cares that being the youngest in the grade might make these challenges more difficult to overcome. The standards are the standards, and no one will extend grace to that immature kid just because most of the class is older.

[Anonymous]

You can give your child another year of childhood and you have another year to save for college. Win/win.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like there is an anti red shirt parent doing a ton of sock puppeting in herw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like there is an anti red shirt parent doing a ton of sock puppeting in herw

Jeff confirmed that and blocked that user for the day. Thanks, Jeff!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2023/05/24/update052423

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why redshirting generates so much ire. At least in Virginia the statute specifically says that if a child is 5 by the cut off you can satisfy the school requirement by sending your kid to a pre-k program. So it’s an option to be elected. I saw my summer birthday brother go to school “on time” and he was not the better for it. My husband had the same experience. There are no downsides that I’ve seen for putting a 5 year old in pre-k and letting them get more maturity before K. Elementary school is way more intense than it was 30-40 years ago too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can give your child another year of childhood and you have another year to save for college. Win/win.

This.

I was anti red shirt when my kids were younger (I am NOT the anti-red shirt poster). One DS went on-time with a summer birthday, which means he's a bit younger for his grade. Another DS went on-time but just two weeks after the cut-off. So, he's older than some of classmates but not those who red-shirted.

Now that my kids are in 5th and 8th respectively, I see that another year of at home before college isn't a bad thing at all. Those who were red-shirted might be more a little more mature for college. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know why redshirting generates so much ire. At least in Virginia the statute specifically says that if a child is 5 by the cut off you can satisfy the school requirement by sending your kid to a pre-k program. So it’s an option to be elected. I saw my summer birthday brother go to school “on time” and he was not the better for it. My husband had the same experience. There are no downsides that I’ve seen for putting a 5 year old in pre-k and letting them get more maturity before K. Elementary school is way more intense than it was 30-40 years ago too.

It doesn’t. It’s just one or two crazies on dcum with adult children or no children. No one else cares, truly

[Anonymous]

In Kindergarten, there are many kids in the same boat. She will barely notice.
In middle school, she may notice/ not love it if she is the first to get her period, etc. It is a phase that will pass.
In high school, she'll be one of the first to drive, so will like it!

[Anonymous]

I never understood the point of this if the kid is ready (intellectually and emotionally) for school. DS has a late July birthday and we never considered starting him late. He's now about to start middle school and he's always in the top 5% academically. No issues socially; has tons of friends.