Odd visit from DS GF dad

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like their are issues with the mom and the steps if he is spending that much time at her boyfriend’s house. Doesn’t the mom want to see her ever? Is she trying to get away from bratty younger step siblings? I feel sort of bad for her but my guess is that there’s some disfunction on both sides of the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son and this girl have been dating for all of two months. You’re in no position to judge her father. You don’t know anything about the family dynamics. Mind your own friggin business.

The girl's father brought it to OP's door. Op I would probably mention it to the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she did something wrong, was ignoring his calls, so found her and talked to her. Don’t all teens get upset when they get in trouble.

Not sure why everyone is getting mad at the OP letting the girl visit until 9:30. It is not like she is holding the girl hostage. Her parents can make a different rule. My kid has tons of homework but I know lots of teens that do not.

Maybe the girlfriend’s dad has a problem with her new found after school hobby, and let her know

Hanging out until 9:30 at boyfriend’s (or any friend’s) house regularly during the week; loafing, watching movies,
playing video games wouldn’t be ok with me as a parent. That would mean what they aren’t doing is homework, studying, working a job, playing [b]sports

We get it. You’re uptight. That’s fine, but don’t expect others to feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why wouldn't you have met him? He is her Father.

(I actually think letting her stay at your house till 9:30pm on school nights is pretty horrible.)

The girl is 17, not 12.

Who pays her expenses? Where does she live?

With her custodial parent, who knew where she was and is not the father.

Next!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad better be careful. In a year his daughter will have no legal obligation to have any contact with him whatsoever. Then he’ll reap the relationship he sowed.

100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why wouldn't you have met him? He is her Father.

(I actually think letting her stay at your house till 9:30pm on school nights is pretty horrible.)

The girl is 17, not 12.

Who pays her expenses? Where does she live?

With her custodial parent, who knew where she was and is not the father.

Next!

How do you know? Dad may pay enough child support to pay all her and moms expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she did something wrong, was ignoring his calls, so found her and talked to her. Don’t all teens get upset when they get in trouble.

Not sure why everyone is getting mad at the OP letting the girl visit until 9:30. It is not like she is holding the girl hostage. Her parents can make a different rule. My kid has tons of homework but I know lots of teens that do not.

Maybe the girlfriend’s dad has a problem with her new found after school hobby, and let her know

Hanging out until 9:30 at boyfriend’s (or any friend’s) house regularly during the week; loafing, watching movies,
playing video games wouldn’t be ok with me as a parent. That would mean what they aren’t doing is homework, studying, working a job, playing [b]sports

We get it. You’re uptight. That’s fine, but don’t expect others to feel.

No they care about the child’s academics and future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do these teens have so much time to socialize on school nights? Between EC’s, school work, and family dinner, my teens do not have additional time on school nights and definitely would not be allowed to hang out with a boyfriend until 9:30. My teen is showering, finishing work and packing her lunch at that time, not watching a movie!

I guess they aren’t in any advanced classes?

Wrong, wrong, wrong. My kid has time to hang out multiple nights a week and has As in AP classes. He uses the ample class time given for work (instead of socializing or playing on his phone, like many classmates do during that time) and manages his time well. He is organized and plans ahead if he needs to do something like study for a test.

Your kid should try it sometime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not enough info or context to judge the dad's actions here, but i do agree with the other posters who say 9:30 pm on a weeknight is way too damn late for your son's GF to be hanging out at the house regularly.

What time does your DS go to bed??? 11:00 pm or midnight on school nights?

You’re ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge Op for having the girl at her house 9:30pm on a school night. And being so judgmental when she has no idea what the family dynamic or relationship is. Op, obviously wants to be cool mom above all else

Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why wouldn't you have met him? He is her Father.

(I actually think letting her stay at your house till 9:30pm on school nights is pretty horrible.)

The girl is 17, not 12.

Who pays her expenses? Where does she live?

With her custodial parent, who knew where she was and is not the father.

Next!

How do you know? Dad may pay enough child support to pay all her and moms expenses.

So what? She lives with her mother, WHO HAS CUSTODY. Reading is fundamental.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like daughter stopped responding to texts or calls. What parent would not be concerned?

Dad either got your address from the ex wife or from former tracking history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she did something wrong, was ignoring his calls, so found her and talked to her. Don’t all teens get upset when they get in trouble.

Not sure why everyone is getting mad at the OP letting the girl visit until 9:30. It is not like she is holding the girl hostage. Her parents can make a different rule. My kid has tons of homework but I know lots of teens that do not.

Maybe the girlfriend’s dad has a problem with her new found after school hobby, and let her know

Hanging out until 9:30 at boyfriend’s (or any friend’s) house regularly during the week; loafing, watching movies,
playing video games wouldn’t be ok with me as a parent. That would mean what they aren’t doing is homework, studying, working a job, playing [b]sports

We get it. You’re uptight. That’s fine, but don’t expect others to feel.

No they care about the child’s academics and future.

Darling, my oldest is at a Top 20 college. My second is getting all As in AP classes. You are doing your kids no favors by being rigid and insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like she did something wrong, was ignoring his calls, so found her and talked to her. Don’t all teens get upset when they get in trouble.

Not sure why everyone is getting mad at the OP letting the girl visit until 9:30. It is not like she is holding the girl hostage. Her parents can make a different rule. My kid has tons of homework but I know lots of teens that do not.

Maybe the girlfriend’s dad has a problem with her new found after school hobby, and let her know

Hanging out until 9:30 at boyfriend’s (or any friend’s) house regularly during the week; loafing, watching movies,
playing video games wouldn’t be ok with me as a parent. That would mean what they aren’t doing is homework, studying, working a job, playing [b]sports

We get it. You’re uptight. That’s fine, but don’t expect others to feel.

No they care about the child’s academics and future.

Darling, my oldest is at a Top 20 college. My second is getting all As in AP classes. You are doing your kids no favors by being rigid and insane.

Sad you’d rather be a friend than parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would assume that this perhaps not very socially-attuned father suddenly had a freak-out, and this resulted in the encounter you witnessed. In the moment he really wasn't thinking about the consequences of his actions on you, the parents of the boy. He was worried about his daughter, and probably wasn't too pleased to find her at her boyfriend's house, with possibly permissive adults, with an equally permissive custodial ex-wife in the background, allowing this.

In fact, if a post was created on DCUM from the point of view of a distraught dad finding out that his teen daughter is off gallivanting with a boyfriend in the evening, deploring that his ex-wife is allowing this, I'm sure it would garner some sympathy.

So since you don't know this family, and there are two sides to every story... I suggest you move on without judging too much.

+1