Odd visit from DS GF dad
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Anonymous
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My son (M16) has been dating “Liz” (F17) for 2 months. They hang out a lot, like teenagers do. She comes over to our house probably 3-4 days a week and they watch movies. Sometimes they go out. We have put normal restrictions - she needs to leave at 9:30 on weekdays and 11 on weekends. If they go out, curfew is the same, but we have made exceptions to midnight if they have actual plans (like glo zone bowling). We met her mom a few weeks ago when she came by to pick up my son so they could go on a shopping trip.
Her parents divorced when she was young, and dad lives 1+ hour away. She rarely visits him, and only lives with mom, stepdad and step siblings. Her dad showed up at our house last night around 7:30. Apparently she stopped sharing her location with him a few days ago so he felt the need to track her down. (Yet oddly, he found her so he must still be tracking her). He had her go outside and talk with him for about 10 minutes. It was very odd. She was extremely upset and embarrassed. After he left and she calmed down, I let her know that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. The more I thought about it, what a controlling jerk. If he has issues with his DD, that needs to be handled at “home”, not a friend’s house. I can see driving here if it was a true emergency, or after curfew - but this was neither. I’m not going to insert myself into this family’s drama - just curious what other people think. |
Anonymous
| Dad has some control issues. That is not a normal reaction. |
Anonymous
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OP, why wouldn't you have met him? He is her Father.
(I actually think letting her stay at your house till 9:30pm on school nights is pretty horrible.) |
Anonymous
| Perhaps he was looking for a way to assess the boyfriend's family and home. And that would definitely make him a nosey and controlling jerk. Hopefully she will report to her mother. |
Anonymous
| She's ducking her dad - he's not the one who is trouble. |
Anonymous
?? |
Anonymous
The girl is 17, not 12. |
Anonymous
NP here. What?? Why is letting the girlfriend stay until 9:30 on weeknights horrible?? Are you one of those moms of a 3 year old who has grand and ideal plans that will control their life? If so, here is a lesson: 9:30 is early for a 16/17 year old. Between homework, sports, activities and such they often aren’t in bed until 11 or 12! |
Anonymous
| If my child turned off the locator app, I’d be looking for her. And I’d go to the places that I’d tracked her to before. I think you’re off base here. |
Anonymous
+ 1. My kid was a college student while still 17! Without knowing more it’s hard to say exactly what’s going on as far as controlling dad v. ducking teen. Based on just what’s in the OP, I’d the GF and her mom handle it. |
Anonymous
She wasn't dating a 26 year old when she was in college, was she? |
Anonymous
^ 16 |
Anonymous
Yeah me too. |
Anonymous
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Seems way off. Agree with how you handled but wouldn't say anything unless something else happens.
Also maybe talk to your son about his perspective of the incident. Sounds like they are very serious he is pretty young to have to deal with parents who overreact like that and make it clear that you think it was an overreaction. If Dad was so involved, why didn't he get your or your husband's number awhile ago since she spends so much time at your house? |
Anonymous
Whoa. This probably ought to be raised in a separate thread, but you track your teen’s’ whereabouts all the time? |