Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

[Anonymous]

OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are her reasons for wanting private school?

I think it is a super odd decision to give up having a SAH spouse, who presumably has made your career possible and kept the home running, over taking a stand about $30k which is not material for your household.

The real conversation is about public vs. private and what is best for your kids and family - including when you retire. Solve that question - this isn't about needing her to work.

This is so right.

OP, if you have the discussion, make it about budget and priorities. State your concerns about retirement, etc. Do not use the word "you" at all. Don't bring up her going to work; instead ask her for ideas on how to make up the "shortfall."

"Shortfall" is in quotes because I cannot fathom making that much money or how much your expenses could possibly be to be concerned about a relatively small chunk of change that even subtracted from your income still puts you well ahead of most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Again, OP has teens. He doesn’t need childcare for winter break or quarantines. Does anyone read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Again, OP has teens. He doesn’t need childcare for winter break or quarantines. Does anyone read?

Yes, we do. Which is how we know OP’s kids are still in elementary, and his wife wants to send them to private school for middle school. A 6th grader should not be left home alone all summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

My DH and I both work full time and I am the person that ‘handles sick days and breaks and dr appointments and driving to activities’ not him. My husband is a physician whereas I work for a local school system and has the more demanding job so I pickup the vast majority of childcare and household tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

My DH and I both work full time and I am the person that ‘handles sick days and breaks and dr appointments and driving to activities’ not him. My husband is a physician whereas I work for a local school system and has the more demanding job so I pickup the vast majority of childcare and household tasks.

That’s fine if you’re happy, but not all of us want to work the second (and third) shift because our H’s can’t be bothered to be a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

Many have a flexible parent. OP will need to be that flexible parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

My DH and I both work full time and I am the person that ‘handles sick days and breaks and dr appointments and driving to activities’ not him. My husband is a physician whereas I work for a local school system and has the more demanding job so I pickup the vast majority of childcare and household tasks.

That’s fine if you’re happy, but not all of us want to work the second (and third) shift because our H’s can’t be bothered to be a parent.

Would you be happy with the lower quality of life that came with your husband taking a less demanding job to take on those additional responsibilities? I have my guess...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

My DH and I both work full time and I am the person that ‘handles sick days and breaks and dr appointments and driving to activities’ not him. My husband is a physician whereas I work for a local school system and has the more demanding job so I pickup the vast majority of childcare and household tasks.

You are lucky you had a flexible job. When I worked, I didn't. I couldn't even get my doctors appointments approved for a serious medical issue let alone if someone got sick. Your husband needs to step up and parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Again, OP has teens. He doesn’t need childcare for winter break or quarantines. Does anyone read?

If they are home sick, someone needs to be home or close by. Let me guess.. your kids have to figure out most things for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Does anybody read?? Ops kids are entering teenage years. What is wrong with y’all!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Is this a joke??? The majority of family have two working parents. Give me a break.

No one is denying that families make it work with two working parents. I don’t understand why you keep bringing that up as a retort to multiple posts.

Those who make it work, do so because BOTH parents take on the house and child responsibilities. Which means, yes, OP will have to handle sick days and breaks and doctors appointments and driving to activities.

You seem to believe OP should not take on any responsibilities, and I don’t understand why. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect OP to take on his fair share, rather than leaving his wife to work full time AND continue all the work of being a SAHM.

My DH and I both work full time and I am the person that ‘handles sick days and breaks and dr appointments and driving to activities’ not him. My husband is a physician whereas I work for a local school system and has the more demanding job so I pickup the vast majority of childcare and household tasks.

That’s fine if you’re happy, but not all of us want to work the second (and third) shift because our H’s can’t be bothered to be a parent.

Would you be happy with the lower quality of life that came with your husband taking a less demanding job to take on those additional responsibilities? I have my guess...

Mine did, and yes, I’m very happy with the decision. He makes *gasp* only 5 figures. Means I get to work on my career and he can be an active parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think its a great idea for your wife to go back to work. Clearly you are not a particularly nice person and would probably leave her high and dry in a divorce and she needs a back up plan.

With that said, if she goes back to work, she will have little to no leave. Are you prepared to do all the doctor/dental appointments? Are you prepared to take of for half days and teacher work days? Are you prepared to make child care arrangements for summers, spring break and winter break. Are you prepared to take off at a moments notice to pick up your sick chid from school? Are you prepared to be at home 10-14 days if they get covid? Are you prepared to be home early to drive you kids to every activity? No including, the cooking, cleaning and other household duties. And, how much do you think it would cost to hire a full-time nanny?

You make a fortune. I don't get it.

If we made what you did there is no question our kids would be in private. The publics are a hot mess right now.

Does anybody read?? Ops kids are entering teenage years. What is wrong with y’all!!

Everything Pp wrote applies to teenagers. You think an 11 year old can drive themselves to activities, drive home when sick, and cook their own dinner?