Would you date a bisexual man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is bi and I love it! We’ve been together for 10 years so I’m pretty sure he’s not gay because we’ve had sex thousands of times. I’m a millennial and I find the idea of a MMF threesome very hot. I doubt he has ever been unfaithful because we are very open about the fact we are both still attracted to other people but monogamy is a choice not the result of lack of options.

But my favorite part of my husband being bi is that it really opened the door to challenging other gender stereotypes. My husband makes the $$$, works as an executive, vacuums and does the laundry without being asked, grocery shops and cooks without being micromanaged, and is great with kids. My life is easy.

That makes sense. A MFF threesome has been the male fantasy for as long as time, MMF seems like the female equivalent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

When whites say this, it’s an expression of racism.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

PP here. Funny thing is, when I said I’m not interested in certain ethnicities…..I’m not attracted to white men. Like at all. MY H and almost all the men I’ve dated are BIPOC. I’m sure now you’ll say I’m fetishizing them, so I can’t really win.

Interesting how your mind went to “whites only dating whites” when it could have meant a wide variety of things.

B.c I've heard so many White Supremacists saying it for so many years and when they do its extremely upsetting.

Do you think people should date people they’re not attracted to? Because I can’t think of anything worse than being led on by someone who isn’t really attracted to me, but is using me to check a box and appear a certain way. I’d rather they just date who they want to date.

DP but I’m white but generally only attracted to POC too. I thought this was a known fact, you can’t really change your sexual preferences. People don’t go around actively shunning non-preferred ethnicities (and I‘ve dated a few white people), but you are generally attracted to a type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious. Some women don't care at all, some care a lot. (And no, I'm not a bisexual man, I'm a heterosexual woman who would date a bisexual man in the right circumstances)

Are you saying he likes giving and receiving? And is sexually aroused by men’s bodies? Or just the former?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is bi and I love it! We’ve been together for 10 years so I’m pretty sure he’s not gay because we’ve had sex thousands of times. I’m a millennial and I find the idea of a MMF threesome very hot. I doubt he has ever been unfaithful because we are very open about the fact we are both still attracted to other people but monogamy is a choice not the result of lack of options.

But my favorite part of my husband being bi is that it really opened the door to challenging other gender stereotypes. My husband makes the $$$, works as an executive, vacuums and does the laundry without being asked, grocery shops and cooks without being micromanaged, and is great with kids. My life is easy.

That makes sense. A MFF threesome has been the male fantasy for as long as time, MMF seems like the female equivalent

The above is interesting and I wonder if its true. I think its pretty well know that the man in an MFF doesn't view the F's activities as cheating or problematic. However, it seems to me many women in an MMF would react emotionally to the M's behavior. I think women would prefer an MFM, but that wouldn't require bisexuality, so it's not relevant to this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is bi and I love it! We’ve been together for 10 years so I’m pretty sure he’s not gay because we’ve had sex thousands of times. I’m a millennial and I find the idea of a MMF threesome very hot. I doubt he has ever been unfaithful because we are very open about the fact we are both still attracted to other people but monogamy is a choice not the result of lack of options.

But my favorite part of my husband being bi is that it really opened the door to challenging other gender stereotypes. My husband makes the $$$, works as an executive, vacuums and does the laundry without being asked, grocery shops and cooks without being micromanaged, and is great with kids. My life is easy.

My bi-husband also makes more $$ than I do, does all the laundry, cleans the bathrooms, vacuums, and does some of the cooking. All without complaint or being asked. He’s the best!

[Anonymous]

No. No. No. My life is easy without having to date a man who likes men. There are straights who *check notes* have a job and also do housework? Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

When whites say this, it’s an expression of racism.

It’s not actually. It’s a preference. Just like not wanting to date a bisexual person or a trans person. It’s not racist or prejudiced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

When whites say this, it’s an expression of racism.

It’s not actually. It’s a preference. Just like not wanting to date a bisexual person or a trans person. It’s not racist or prejudiced.

You can't win. If you're not attracted, you're racist. If you are attracted, you're fetishizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Core issue for OP is:

- how can you stay married for life, and exclusive, with a man who has unfulfilled sexual desires involving a whole gender you do not possess?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Why on earth do you assume the bolded??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

When whites say this, it’s an expression of racism.

It’s not actually. It’s a preference. Just like not wanting to date a bisexual person or a trans person. It’s not racist or prejudiced.

You can't win. If you're not attracted, you're racist. If you are attracted, you're fetishizing.

Attraction does not equal a fetish. A fetish involves fixation and reduction of the individual.

There is so much illogical, simple minded BS on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Call me biphobic if you want, but I don’t believe I owe anyone dates if I don’t want to date them. You’re allowed to say no to anyone for any reason.

I think women are guilt tripped enough into dating men they don’t want to date without also adding this to the list.

Don't use Feminism to cover up your Queerphobia. Lemme guess you are a TERF too, eh?

I’m not. But bottom line is, no one has to date anyone they don’t want to date for any reason at all.

I think part of the problem is we’ve equated “sexual attraction” with “human rights”. Doing so means that only people we find sexually/romantically attractive deserve rights. I can recognize that everyone is human deserving of certain rights, without needing to be attracted or romantically interested in them. Just like I’m not romantically interested in certain ethnicities, people in larger bodies, people with lower intelligence, etc but I still recognize their humanity.

I am Black and only interested in dating Black women so shove your shock face wherever you want but there is nothing wrong with these feelings, nor if someone from any other race feels the same way.

Sorry I can't accept whites saying they only want to date whites. B.c that's what the Klan people from my hometown say.

When whites say this, it’s an expression of racism.

It’s not actually. It’s a preference. Just like not wanting to date a bisexual person or a trans person. It’s not racist or prejudiced.

You can't win. If you're not attracted, you're racist. If you are attracted, you're fetishizing.

Agreed. Which is why mostly I just keep my mouth shut and date who I want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is bi and I love it! We’ve been together for 10 years so I’m pretty sure he’s not gay because we’ve had sex thousands of times. I’m a millennial and I find the idea of a MMF threesome very hot. I doubt he has ever been unfaithful because we are very open about the fact we are both still attracted to other people but monogamy is a choice not the result of lack of options.

But my favorite part of my husband being bi is that it really opened the door to challenging other gender stereotypes. My husband makes the $$$, works as an executive, vacuums and does the laundry without being asked, grocery shops and cooks without being micromanaged, and is great with kids. My life is easy.

That makes sense. A MFF threesome has been the male fantasy for as long as time, MMF seems like the female equivalent

The above is interesting and I wonder if its true. I think its pretty well know that the man in an MFF doesn't view the F's activities as cheating or problematic. However, it seems to me many women in an MMF would react emotionally to the M's behavior. I think women would prefer an MFM, but that wouldn't require bisexuality, so it's not relevant to this thread.

NP. Yeah, I'm a F who desires a MFM. Repulsed by a MMF.

[Anonymous]

I, a woman, dated a bi man and I had several problems:
1) he didn't tell me he was bi
2) I found out he was bi from someone else
3) he claimed he told me but I wasn't listening, omg
4) he also explained that he falls in love with women but enjoyed guys for fun, OK, but it wasn't what I signed up for, and I felt deceived.
5) I broke up with him and then guys in bars told me my ex frequented gay bath houses, group sex places around Logan Circle, and I was totally freaked out, got hiv tested.
6) in retrospect, he was a very troubled individual, but we were just mid 20s then and I didn't fully get that.

I suppose if everyone is being honest with each other and making decisions based on truth, then great for them. But this was traumatizing to me.

Depends on the bi person, but seems like double the opportunity to be attracted and cheat? And depending on the sex drives involved, would need to have open-ish relationship maybe. None of that was ever appealing to me - I am a monogamous hetero, but I have no problem with other people's sex lives, as long as they aren't lying to their sex partners.

[Anonymous]

As a straight woman I find the thought of man on man sex arousing and would probably enjoy watching, possibly during a threesome. I haven't done it but it sounds like fun. So yeah, a bi guy would be perfect.