Middle School Culture Shock

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

My grandmother married at 18 to get away from her sisters' husbands, who were handsy. This was the 1920s, so maybe her above-the-ankle skirts are what caused her brothers-in-laws' behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

Wait....so you think progressive women are fine with MS girls wearing inappropriate clothing to school?

Nope.

I'll ask again.. why don't you let your MSer where her underwear to school?

Wear? When my daughter was in MS she had sensory issues and developed an affection for specific clothes, some of which she wore even when they got short, even when they got tight. We talked about it, but I struck a balance between not shaming her and suggesting alternatives. From what I saw, even her NT peers did this to some extent. These girls were growling like six inches in a year.

Why are you so hellbent on shaming your own daughter?

Follow up question: how IS her diet? She fake eating salads at dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

Wait....so you think progressive women are fine with MS girls wearing inappropriate clothing to school?

Nope.

I'll ask again.. why don't you let your MSer where her underwear to school?

Yep. I think that other PP is correct: it's not the clothes that offend you, it's the bodies wearing the clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

My grandmother married at 18 to get away from her sisters' husbands, who were handsy. This was the 1920s, so maybe her above-the-ankle skirts are what caused her brothers-in-laws' behavior.

Was probably that slutty bobbed hair. I have read my Fitzgerald.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

Wait....so you think progressive women are fine with MS girls wearing inappropriate clothing to school?

Nope.

I'll ask again.. why don't you let your MSer where her underwear to school?

Define inappropriate. Not the regular posters but I don't have an issue with shorter shorts, tank tops and crop tops. That's the fun of being young. The clothing isn't the issue.

Its easy to shift to justifying poor behavior vs. doing anything about it. Many parents in MS let their kids behave how they want with no consequences. Fun dressing and behavior are two different things and poor behavior needs to be addressed at home and school. Clothing, who cares. They are only young once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

What on earth are you talking about? What does a culture of arranged marriages have to do with middle school culture? This isn’t a foreign culture vs domestic culture issue. This makes you sound very racist. Dressing appropriately is in every culture. That’s why we don’t have people wearing bikinis to work. There is a time and place for certain outfits. School is an academic institution and should be treated as such. Middle schoolers are children and need to be taught how to dress appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

What on earth are you talking about? What does a culture of arranged marriages have to do with middle school culture? This isn’t a foreign culture vs domestic culture issue. This makes you sound very racist. Dressing appropriately is in every culture. That’s why we don’t have people wearing bikinis to work. There is a time and place for certain outfits. School is an academic institution and should be treated as such. Middle schoolers are children and need to be taught how to dress appropriately.

Cultures with arranged marriages tend to marry them off young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

What on earth are you talking about? What does a culture of arranged marriages have to do with middle school culture? This isn’t a foreign culture vs domestic culture issue. This makes you sound very racist. Dressing appropriately is in every culture. That’s why we don’t have people wearing bikinis to work. There is a time and place for certain outfits. School is an academic institution and should be treated as such. Middle schoolers are children and need to be taught how to dress appropriately.

Nobody is stopping you from requiring your children to wear clothes you consider appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

What on earth are you talking about? What does a culture of arranged marriages have to do with middle school culture? This isn’t a foreign culture vs domestic culture issue. This makes you sound very racist. Dressing appropriately is in every culture. That’s why we don’t have people wearing bikinis to work. There is a time and place for certain outfits. School is an academic institution and should be treated as such. Middle schoolers are children and need to be taught how to dress appropriately.

Nobody is stopping you from requiring your children to wear clothes you consider appropriate.

I don't need to require anything as mine dress appropriately but what someone considers appropriate is subjective. Most of the clothing complaints are petty and silly. Kids behavior is far more important vs. dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes have to remind myself that many of you come from cultures where your parents had arranged marriages, that even you were probably virgins when you married. I'm not making value judgments about those choices--I just hope they WERE choices--but it must color how you view your bodies and your daughters' bodies and what you teach your sons. It is probably not a coincidence that some of those countries also have disturbingly high percentages of rape and teen marriage. But again, no judgment. My grandma was a teen bride as well, although I'm not sure it was her shorts that led her to ruin, morelike the War. And the South.

What on earth are you talking about? What does a culture of arranged marriages have to do with middle school culture? This isn’t a foreign culture vs domestic culture issue. This makes you sound very racist. Dressing appropriately is in every culture. That’s why we don’t have people wearing bikinis to work. There is a time and place for certain outfits. School is an academic institution and should be treated as such. Middle schoolers are children and need to be taught how to dress appropriately.

Cultures with arranged marriages tend to marry them off young?

My husband was married at 18 to his first wife. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I popped into this thread to see what the fuss was and am totally amused for I see a bunch of supposed adults behaving like packs of opposing mean girl groups in middle school.

For those so busy proclaiming what they would or would not allow their middle school students to wear, I have news for you. Middle school girls change outfits all the time when they arrive at school, often into clothes a friend brought. Your daughter may be one of the kids you are so busy judging here.

- MS teacher

[Anonymous]

Wow this thread makes me realize private school was the right choice for my daughter, who wears a uniform every day. No options to change when she gets to school and no makeup or gaudy jewelry is allowed. The school enforces these rules. Thankful and will be sending my daughter to a high school with the same sort of rules (preferably all girls).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread makes me realize private school was the right choice for my daughter, who wears a uniform every day. No options to change when she gets to school and no makeup or gaudy jewelry is allowed. The school enforces these rules. Thankful and will be sending my daughter to a high school with the same sort of rules (preferably all girls).

brb gotta go post on the private school forum about how awful private schools are and how I'm grateful my kids don't go there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread makes me realize private school was the right choice for my daughter, who wears a uniform every day. No options to change when she gets to school and no makeup or gaudy jewelry is allowed. The school enforces these rules. Thankful and will be sending my daughter to a high school with the same sort of rules (preferably all girls).

Your insecurity is showing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread makes me realize private school was the right choice for my daughter, who wears a uniform every day. No options to change when she gets to school and no makeup or gaudy jewelry is allowed. The school enforces these rules. Thankful and will be sending my daughter to a high school with the same sort of rules (preferably all girls).

Your insecurity is showing

No, her gratitude is showing

Another private school parent thankful for her DD’s school