You other parents are the problem....

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

NP. You sound grouchy and unfit for civil discourse. Perhaps you need more…sleep?

It’s wrong to congratulate and reward people for their superior parenting and loving their kids more than all the other parents? What has the world come to?!

It seems you need to find another site or maybe a friend, a spouse, anyone who can affirm that your myriad instances of failing to be an adult and a reasonably competent mom were okay.

I honestly don’t understand. I was paying the woman a COMPLIMENT. Isn’t that what she wanted?

You’re such a lumpen snatch.

[Anonymous]

I am way more worried about the parents who buy alcohol for teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many of my teen's friends' parents let them keep their phones and laptops in their bedrooms overnight. I am apparently the mean, super strict parent who makes my teen put his technology in my bedroom overnight. He keeps begging to keep it so he can snapchat with whatever girl he is interested in or friends. He says it is embarrassing that he has to stop talking to someone at 11:30 when the girl's parents let her have the phone in her room overnight.

I don't get why parents are letting their kids have unfettered access to a device that is shown to be so harmful to teens. Do we really want our teens up until the wee hours scrolling and getting 4-6 hours of sleep? I am sure the sleep deprivation is as big of a problem as the social media.

People who let their teens have access to phones/laptops overnight - do you think it's good for them to be on them all night? Do you think they're honestly putting it away at a responsible hour? Or is the fight over it just too much trouble (it is a TON of trouble, let me assure you).

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am way more worried about the parents who buy alcohol for teens

The Venn diagram of parents who don’t put limits on phone use/don’t care if their teens have poor sleep and the parents who buy their teens alcohol is a circle.

[Anonymous]

I agree with OP. But I know my kid and she does not have the self control to stay off device in her room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are stricter than you on this. My 15 year old has to give us his phone at 8:30, lights out in his room at 9. We will let up over summer, but we are strict about this on school nights. Will probably push the time back every year until he goes to college.

Like others have said, though, we are more permissive in other areas. Stand your ground on the rules you establish and know that there will always be someone with light rules and stricter rules. And kids will always find a way to complain about it.

my 15 year old desperately needs more sleep but I can't make the 9pm lights out rule because there is ALWAYS homework to do after evening activities. How do you do it? Phone isn't an issue at all though sneaking on youtube when doing his homework is.

[Anonymous]

OP- we have the same rule. Phones and laptops plugged in downstairs overnight.

I have a rising college junior (Ivy) and rising college freshmen (T20).

Sleep was always a huge priority of mine. The nightie phone and computer use is bad for sleek. It’s seriously bad for mental health. It creates lots of danger. Anyone who lets a kid/teen have unfettered 24 hour access is insane and has given up. Read any study out there about the developing brain, kids’ mental health, etc. It’s lazy, bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

DC didn’t have phones until 14, the summer before high school. For two years, we did not allow phones in the rooms and we had parent control controls on them. But after sophomore year, the reality was they needed to monitor themselves a little bit better without parental control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am way more worried about the parents who buy alcohol for teens

It’s the same kids abusing alcohol…and the parents with no limits or rules. The “friends” of the kids. The weak parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC didn’t have phones until 14, the summer before high school. For two years, we did not allow phones in the rooms and we had parent control controls on them. But after sophomore year, the reality was they needed to monitor themselves a little bit better without parental control.

I’d wait two more years. Summer before college would be better. You want it fully ingrained, not to form habits on a young brain. Plus, it just leads to trouble in high school on an immature brain. Nothing good comes from it. Not to mention the lack of reading!! My sons are readers. Very few are nowadays. It’s something you actively cultivate early and don’t give up. What a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am way more worried about the parents who buy alcohol for teens

The Venn diagram of parents who don’t put limits on phone use/don’t care if their teens have poor sleep and the parents who buy their teens alcohol is a circle.

+1

It’s the parents who can’t even set basic limits for their kids. You don’t have to be all or nothing with rules, but limiting phone use and not supplying your kids with alcohol are pretty low parenting bars to meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

NP. You sound grouchy and unfit for civil discourse. Perhaps you need more…sleep?

It’s wrong to congratulate and reward people for their superior parenting and loving their kids more than all the other parents? What has the world come to?!

It seems you need to find another site or maybe a friend, a spouse, anyone who can affirm that your myriad instances of failing to be an adult and a reasonably competent mom were okay.

I honestly don’t understand. I was paying the woman a COMPLIMENT. Isn’t that what she wanted?

NP. Disingenuous sarcasm is not the same as plausible deniability.

You still get to be who you are, but it just comes off as dumb.

[Anonymous]

Mine have iPhones that they have no access to any apps due to downtime programmed by me by 10:00pmexcept phone calls

[Anonymous]

I hate all the irresponsible and/or clueless parents who give their kids access to social media.

Now England has joined the growing list of nations which have banned those under 16 years of age from using social.

Social media is toxic (especially for teenagers). Why are many of you so ignorant of this fact?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

You’re a neglectful parent.

And yet her kids are better than yours. Sorry your genes suck.

LOL, sorry. Two beautiful, healthy, kind, intelligent, social daughters on honor roll, in musicals and in gymnastics.

Sorry you have disappointing boys.

sure they are Janice. Will end up at JUCO