What makes a man commit to being faithful?

[Anonymous]

Single (35/F). I’ve noticed many of the men I meet aren’t interested in being in a faithful/committed relationship.

Of course, I’m looking for marriage with the right person and before we can be monogamous of course it starts with baseline of being in a relationship.

what am I missing? Do some men just not want to commit? Or what does it take for single men to settle down? I hate to think all men cheat.

[Anonymous]

Too many whores out there. So many women will bang first meet, look for it online, don’t care if the for is married or already in a relationship. When free sex is everywhere- it’s a tough road.

[Anonymous]

It’s internal, it’s about their self esteem, lack of mental illness.

Nobody makes somebody cheat and nobody can stop somebody from cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many whores out there. So many women will bang first meet, look for it online, don’t care if the for is married or already in a relationship. When free sex is everywhere- it’s a tough road.

No it’s not for normal guys.

[Anonymous]

You need to add value to his life, make his life easier and become indispensable or at least project the possibility of doing so. This assumes, of course, that you are dealing with a man of good character that wants to be in a monogamous relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to add value to his life, make his life easier and become indispensable or at least project the possibility of doing so. This assumes, of course, that you are dealing with a man of good character that wants to be in a monogamous relationship.

How do you do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many whores out there. So many women will bang first meet, look for it online, don’t care if the for is married or already in a relationship. When free sex is everywhere- it’s a tough road.

This!!!! Spot on!!

[Anonymous]

1. Don’t be 35
2. Go after men who like you a lot more than you like them
3. Find god

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to add value to his life, make his life easier and become indispensable or at least project the possibility of doing so. This assumes, of course, that you are dealing with a man of good character that wants to be in a monogamous relationship.

How do you do this?

You don't want to be a doormat or a pushover and, of course, want to make sure that your needs are being met as well, but the basic process involves some combination of taking notice of his interests or likes (this demonstrates that you think and care about him as a person) and becoming aware of his pain points and helping to alleviate them (this demonstrates that you have observed his life enough to know what causes him headaches and can be a willing and active participant in trying to make them go away, even if not always successful). It's better if these things are done volitionally as opposed to having to be extracted, but this will also need to involve some communication to fully understand these things. He should be of the mindset that what you bring to his life will be hard to replace in the open dating market and thus think twice about effing it up. Concurrently with this, he has to know that you are a woman of standards and the he must meet them.

Of course, none of this is a guarantee because people will always be idiots, but it should improve odds.

[Anonymous]

having known many kind men in life (F), I would: be a good conversationalist/ask good questions, talk, and also listen deeply; have your own passions and hobbies that makes you interesting; not put pressure or hurry them to do anything (suggest not being physically intimate until you two are exclusive but that's up to you to decide -- and if they don't want to do that, say, best of luck to them and mean it.) and, yes, I think some men don't want to commit. it doesn't make them bad people. they just either don't want to ever or haven't found the right fit. but you will keep it moving because you have so much going on already it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single (35/F). I’ve noticed many of the men I meet aren’t interested in being in a faithful/committed relationship.

Of course, I’m looking for marriage with the right person and before we can be monogamous of course it starts with baseline of being in a relationship.

what am I missing? Do some men just not want to commit? Or what does it take for single men to settle down? I hate to think all men cheat.

Let’s take a little stroll down Truth Lane for a moment.

Look, darling, dating these days can feel like you’re shopping at a flea market at closing time: lots of noise, lots of flash, lots of folks selling you something they don’t intend to stand behind once you walk away with it. And when you’re out here trying to build something steady, something sacred, something with Sunday-morning coffee and shared car insurance energy…well, it can feel like the world’s dealing you jokers instead of kings.

But here’s the thing: you’re not missing some secret manual. You’re not broken. You’re not naïve. You’re not asking for too much. You’re just playing in a field where not everyone showed up to harvest.

Some men? Yeah, they’re out here treating life like an all-you-can-eat buffet — little taste of this, little taste of that, commitment hovering somewhere between “maybe later” and “never heard of her.” But that ain’t all men. Not by a long shot.

A man commits when his values line up with his timing and he looks at someone and thinks, “If I play this one casual, I’m gonna regret it for the rest of my days.” That’s not fear. That’s clarity. That’s gravity pulling him toward someone worth building a life with.

You don’t need to convince someone to be faithful. You don’t need to audition for loyalty. Commitment is not a coupon you have to beg someone to redeem. The right man, the kind who’s done the work, who knows what he wants, who’s tired of roller coasters and ready for a good long road trip, he’ll step into that with both feet.

So no, not all men cheat. But plenty of boys pretend to be men because they learned how to grow a beard before they learned how to grow up.

Hold your standard. Keep your heart open but your eyes clear. You’re not searching for the many, just the one. And he’s out there, probably looking around wondering where you are.

[Anonymous]

There are all kinds of people and all kinds of lifestyles out there. Usually like attracts like. I'm in a circle of Middle-Aged Staid Marrieds who met their spouses rather early on and never cheated (or at least, I've never heard a whiff of cheating).

You need to find the right people to hang out with and hope for the best, OP.

[Anonymous]

You give him lots of sexytime, it’s about that simple for the majority of guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single (35/F). I’ve noticed many of the men I meet aren’t interested in being in a faithful/committed relationship.

Of course, I’m looking for marriage with the right person and before we can be monogamous of course it starts with baseline of being in a relationship.

what am I missing? Do some men just not want to commit? Or what does it take for single men to settle down? I hate to think all men cheat.

Call me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You give him lots of sexytime, it’s about that simple for the majority of guys.

Nope. Not sufficient and you'll get the wrong kind of guy.