Fed husband is furloughed and doesn’t do anything all day

[Anonymous]

My husband is NOT a go get ‘em guy and he’s always been super inefficient with time. But now he’s home all day (7:30-3:30, alone, no kids) but hasn’t done anything beyond the day to day tasks. I worry about him.

I am not leaving him a list, because he gets overwhelmed easily and doesn’t manage time well. For example, I asked him one day to drop off somethings for returns at ups but then he called me stressed because he missed getting the kids off the bus. I gently apologized and said I thought maybe he’d go early but he said he was cleaning the kitchen.

I am worried about him sitting home on his phone all day. His home office (now obsolete) is a mess. I don’t want to nag him but I worry…he’s home all day and doesn’t do anything.

[Anonymous]

What’s to worry about? Why must he “do” anything beyond the normal? He may be taking some time to recharge. This time won’t last forever. Just let him be.

[Anonymous]

You are very annoying and so is your husband

[Anonymous]

I'm furloughed too and it really feels weird. I thought I'd get so much done but having no idea when we'll be called back makes it hard. I'm sad and I'm worried about my work friends struggling without their paychecks. This isn't the vacation feel I was expecting, at all. It's okay if he takes a breather.

[Anonymous]

Does he not do anything at all, or does he do things like clean the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s to worry about? Why must he “do” anything beyond the normal? He may be taking some time to recharge. This time won’t last forever. Just let him be.

Because he seems worse, not recharged. He’s on his phone a LOT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he not do anything at all, or does he do things like clean the kitchen?

He will do regular things like wipe down the kitchen counters. But that takes maybe 5 minutes? I just worry about his mental health.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what I just read. Your husband is incapable of managing a ups drop off and getting kids off the buss because he's cleaning the kitchen?

You married a moron and had kids with him. Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like poor executive functioning and he's adrift without his routine. It's not gonna change. Not worth fighting about. From now on, choose his tasks more carefully.

[Anonymous]

Then tell him to hit the gym for 1 hr a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is NOT a go get ‘em guy and he’s always been super inefficient with time. But now he’s home all day (7:30-3:30, alone, no kids) but hasn’t done anything beyond the day to day tasks. I worry about him.

I am not leaving him a list, because he gets overwhelmed easily and doesn’t manage time well. For example, I asked him one day to drop off somethings for returns at ups but then he called me stressed because he missed getting the kids off the bus. I gently apologized and said I thought maybe he’d go early but he said he was cleaning the kitchen.

I am worried about him sitting home on his phone all day. His home office (now obsolete) is a mess. I don’t want to nag him but I worry…he’s home all day and doesn’t do anything.

What else do you want him to do? What have you been doing, just watching him? Go do something together and enjoy your vacay time together if you don't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm furloughed too and it really feels weird. I thought I'd get so much done but having no idea when we'll be called back makes it hard. I'm sad and I'm worried about my work friends struggling without their paychecks. This isn't the vacation feel I was expecting, at all. It's okay if he takes a breather.

Well, every morning you certainly have today to attend to whatever needs done. No need to plan tomorrow but you do have today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what I just read. Your husband is incapable of managing a ups drop off and getting kids off the buss because he's cleaning the kitchen?

You married a moron and had kids with him. Good luck with that.

Sounds like he was flourishing in his government job then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like poor executive functioning and he's adrift without his routine. It's not gonna change. Not worth fighting about. From now on, choose his tasks more carefully.

Or learned helplessness

[Anonymous]

I could see him thinking the drop off will take 10 mins but the line was long and he was late. It’s a bad task to do right before a time sensitive other task. But don’t let him off the hook, he needs to make himself useful if he is amenable to it. Make a list but give him a task or two per day.