College Parent Pages/ Helicopter Parenting

[Anonymous]

Every time I scroll the parent FB page at DC's school, I shake my head in wonder. How do some of these people get out of bed every morning without mama standing right there?

Today, a frantic parent is posting that "we" don't have a blue book for DS's exam an hour from now. Can one of your kids please find one and take it to him? He'll meet you anywhere on campus!

Yesterday, there were posts of student meltdowns at the airport because they "forgot" they needed Real ID to fly and they didn't allow enough time for extra security. How dare the TSA delay these students, who are crying that they just want to go home?

I wish I was making this up.

[Anonymous]

That's pretty horrifying. Not so much that kids make these mistakes and stuff happens, but that anyone would post about it on FB. To what end?

[Anonymous]

How dare these kids be kids with caring parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How dare these kids be kids with caring parents.

LOL no. They're deranged.

[Anonymous]

I sit and shake my head in wonder also. My favorites are the moms (it's ALWAYS the moms) that post photos of their cherubs undercooked food from campus dining and complaining about the lack of good food. For the love of God!!!! These people are huge losers and their kids are too if they are texting photos of food they don't like to their mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How dare these kids be kids with caring parents.

"Caring parents" do not try to solve every problem that their young adult creates for themselves.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids in college and I joined the parent facebook pages for both schools. Neither of them have that level of helicopter parenting.

It's a lot of seeking graduation tickets, questions about parents weekend, and advice on hotels for parents to stay at near campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty horrifying. Not so much that kids make these mistakes and stuff happens, but that anyone would post about it on FB. To what end?

Because despite the fact that they live all over the country, they believe that they are creating a "village" to continue to help raising their 20 YO, as they have been doing since the students were in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How dare these kids be kids with caring parents.

"Caring parents" do not try to solve every problem that their young adult creates for themselves.

100% agree. A good parent doesn't carry their kid / solve all their problems. Better to let them fail / learn younger when the stakes are low. By college, they should be able to navigate troubles and *gasp* sometimes fail.

[Anonymous]

The worst was a mom on one of my kids college parents FB group who disclosed her kids major depression and begged for friends. I feel for the kid but the posting was horrifying.

[Anonymous]

The college parent pages are nuts! I can’t get over how invested some moms are in their kids’ dorm decor.

The blue book thing is ridiculous. The Real ID…I can see college students not being on top of that as it just got rolled out and could be easy to miss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worst was a mom on one of my kids college parents FB group who disclosed her kids major depression and begged for friends. I feel for the kid but the posting was horrifying.

I learned this lesson by my DC's middle school years. Painful to watch your kid suffer - but better than making it worse. And posting something like that on FB would most definitely make it worse.

[Anonymous]

I got on the one for Ds's college and I had to hide it all pretty quickly. Keeping it just in case I need to do a specific search but yes, parents are very intense and micromanaging. For the sake of my ds, and mine as well, I do not want to know all the college minutia and lead things at that point.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I feel this way about the “Adult Children” forum on DCUM too. Anytime a thread pops up there I want to respond “stay out of it.”

I know these parents are trying to be helpful, but sheesh don’t you remember being 24? You did NOT want or respect unsolicited advice from your mommy!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I feel this way about the “Adult Children” forum on DCUM too. Anytime a thread pops up there I want to respond “stay out of it.”

I know these parents are trying to be helpful, but sheesh don’t you remember being 24? You did NOT want or respect unsolicited advice from your mommy!!

I think the issue is often they DO want the advice. I see it with my own kids. At their ages my parents knew almost nothing about my life, I was independent, did what I wanted, used my own money and it was plenty. Because everything from high school to college admissions to the work world and cost of living have become higher stakes and more complicated (I say this as a public school/in-state university mom so not an "elite" perspective) these kids have a lot to figure out that we did not have to figure out and turn to parents more, and parents panic that if they do not help their kids will be screwed.