Who do you think is more delusional about who’s “in their league”? Men or women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, I think it’s less about what’s in your league and more about the amount of effort required. In which case, men are more delulu.

I’m 40 and put in the effort to maintain my appearance, make a solid income, can hold a conversation, have a solid OLD profile, show up looking nice for a date, and am willing to do my share to make a relationship work.

But I see far too many men who put in bare minimum effort yet still feel entitled to sex/a relationship. They look bad, dress badly, put a couple of terrible selfies on their profile with “just ask!” as their bio, don’t want to plan a date, don’t want to travel for a date, hell most of them don’t even want to go on an actual date. They want to look and act gross yet expect women to come to them to give them BJs.

Most of them would do just fine with women if they shaved, bought some nice clothes, and put some effort into dating.

No they don't feel entitled to it. That's what your missing. You're not paying attention. Since all but the most attractive men are playing a.numbers game,as someone else mentioned, it would not be possible for them to devote the time, energy, or money to any individual prospective date that you seem to feel "entitled" to. Your response is EXACTLY an indicator of women's unstned sense of entitlement. You aren't entitled to anything. If you want to go out on a date with a guy, you are free to plan and pay for it.

Yikes, you sound bitter.

It’s not that much time. Hit the gym a few times a week, get some nice clothes, spend 20 minutes on your OLD profile. I do all of these. You and I likely spend around the same amount of time messaging people on apps.

Planning a date takes maybe 15 minutes. I’ll spend 4-5 times that getting ready for it, so it all evens out.

It’s not entitlement. I don’t expect any and all men to bend over backwards for me. But I do expect them to put some effort into talking to me and planning a first date. I’m not interested in low effort men.

The point is that it’s actually pretty easy for men to stand out, because 90% of them put forth almost zero effort.

If the thought of putting in a few minutes of effort is that distasteful, you shouldn’t pursue a relationship. Relationships require time, effort, and sacrifice, far more than casual dating does. If you don’t want to do that, that’s fine, but dating and relationships aren’t for you. You’ll be happier being single.

Once again: nothing at all is stopping you from asking a guy out on a date, or a trip, planning for it, and paying for it. That's what you say you want. A well planned, paid for, actual date.

You just want someone to do the heavy lifting for you and you're not getting what you feel are enough adequate men to accept your terms and conditions. The fact that it takes you forever just to get ready for a date tells me you are below average in attractiveness. An. averagely or better attractive woman doesn't have to put on makeup like a Level 5 drywall contractor has to mud a rec room. Not wear ridiculously fancy or expensive clothes. The first date I ever had with my now wife was completely spontaneous. She was a casual acquaintance in college and I ran into her at random coming back from her part time office job. I realized how great she looked (I wasn't thinking in terms of out.of my league but she probably was as she was dressed in business casual and I was wearing sweat pants sneakers a T-shirt and a hoody lol). On the total spur of the moment I asked her out right then and there and she said why not . It took her zero time to get ready for our date because there was no time. She looked fine

What makes you think that? I date plenty of men who meet my “terms and conditions”.

Also very strange that you’re here ranting about women and dating when you are apparently happily married. Perhaps therapy will help you unpack this unfounded resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if other people had this experience, but I feel like, when it comes to dating, most of my male friends are like Ross from “Friends,” and they have one specific girl that they obsess over for months or years, whether they are dating her or not.

So, while a lot of my female friends have a list of “criteria” that seems unrealistic, they will usually date outside of that and kind of know that some of it is unreasonable. Meanwhile, the men say they have no criteria, but what they really mean is “Heather, (and whoever else will have sex with me while I try to get Heather to go out with me.)”

. That's because you've surrounded yourself with male friends who have no self respect and therefore are afraid to be honest about what they really want . In contrast, self respecting men want nothing to do with you. There's a reason for that.

lol…the men I am thinking of don’t want to date me because I am their sister, cousin, mother, or much older married boss. I think they are as honest as anyone about what they want.

Mother? So this is how your sons are?

Yes. They both have one particular girl that they really like.

[Anonymous]

I’m an attractive slim woman of high NW. I was surprised that men who are overweight get upset or offended when rejected. When I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny to progress I would offer them to work out with me, change the diet, do hiking etc. They don’t want change shit instead resorting to blaming me for “being too picky”. If he’s a VP of an investment bank he thinks that his deep pocket compensates for dad bod. He in a way settles for women who are being dishonest with him and their feelings.

Men don’t care if women truly desire them or not. That’s concerning.

A man worthy of the title should not throw any type of tantrum if he is rejected when asking a woman for a date. However, if he asks a woman out on a date, and her response is, "No, thank you. Would you like to be my hiking buddy?" or "No, thank you. Please lose weight and work out," he should have enough self-esteem to politely decline.

A woman does not owe a man a reason for declining a date. A polite "No, thank you" is all he should need to hear. Likewise, he has no obligation (or reason) to listen to someone evaluate his "dad bod".

In our society, men initiate dates with women (in most cases). This means that almost all men will be turned down at some point. If a man cannot handle that with grace, it is time to get out of the game.

Finally, to the PP. Please learn to write so that your post is readable. Your grammar is substandard, even for DCUM (e.g., "I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny", "He in a way settles for women"). Even better, invest in an AI grammar checker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m an attractive slim woman of high NW. I was surprised that men who are overweight get upset or offended when rejected. When I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny to progress I would offer them to work out with me, change the diet, do hiking etc. They don’t want change shit instead resorting to blaming me for “being too picky”. If he’s a VP of an investment bank he thinks that his deep pocket compensates for dad bod. He in a way settles for women who are being dishonest with him and their feelings.

Men don’t care if women truly desire them or not. That’s concerning.

A man worthy of the title should not throw any type of tantrum if he is rejected when asking a woman for a date. However, if he asks a woman out on a date, and her response is, "No, thank you. Would you like to be my hiking buddy?" or "No, thank you. Please lose weight and work out," he should have enough self-esteem to politely decline.

A woman does not owe a man a reason for declining a date. A polite "No, thank you" is all he should need to hear. Likewise, he has no obligation (or reason) to listen to someone evaluate his "dad bod".

In our society, men initiate dates with women (in most cases). This means that almost all men will be turned down at some point. If a man cannot handle that with grace, it is time to get out of the game.

Finally, to the PP. Please learn to write so that your post is readable. Your grammar is substandard, even for DCUM (e.g., "I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny", "He in a way settles for women"). Even better, invest in an AI grammar checker.

A man worthy of this title wouldn’t allow his body sag and dilapidate. I did realize it so I only go out on dates with slim and athletic men. No longer accept active pursuing of fatties because they’ll never change. Of course, they are “too manly” to get their calories intake under control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm, I think it’s less about what’s in your league and more about the amount of effort required. In which case, men are more delulu.

I’m 40 and put in the effort to maintain my appearance, make a solid income, can hold a conversation, have a solid OLD profile, show up looking nice for a date, and am willing to do my share to make a relationship work.

But I see far too many men who put in bare minimum effort yet still feel entitled to sex/a relationship. They look bad, dress badly, put a couple of terrible selfies on their profile with “just ask!” as their bio, don’t want to plan a date, don’t want to travel for a date, hell most of them don’t even want to go on an actual date. They want to look and act gross yet expect women to come to them to give them BJs.

Most of them would do just fine with women if they shaved, bought some nice clothes, and put some effort into dating.

No they don't feel entitled to it. That's what your missing. You're not paying attention. Since all but the most attractive men are playing a.numbers game,as someone else mentioned, it would not be possible for them to devote the time, energy, or money to any individual prospective date that you seem to feel "entitled" to. Your response is EXACTLY an indicator of women's unstned sense of entitlement. You aren't entitled to anything. If you want to go out on a date with a guy, you are free to plan and pay for it.

Yikes, you sound bitter.

It’s not that much time. Hit the gym a few times a week, get some nice clothes, spend 20 minutes on your OLD profile. I do all of these. You and I likely spend around the same amount of time messaging people on apps.

Planning a date takes maybe 15 minutes. I’ll spend 4-5 times that getting ready for it, so it all evens out.

It’s not entitlement. I don’t expect any and all men to bend over backwards for me. But I do expect them to put some effort into talking to me and planning a first date. I’m not interested in low effort men.

The point is that it’s actually pretty easy for men to stand out, because 90% of them put forth almost zero effort.

If the thought of putting in a few minutes of effort is that distasteful, you shouldn’t pursue a relationship. Relationships require time, effort, and sacrifice, far more than casual dating does. If you don’t want to do that, that’s fine, but dating and relationships aren’t for you. You’ll be happier being single.

Once again: nothing at all is stopping you from asking a guy out on a date, or a trip, planning for it, and paying for it. That's what you say you want. A well planned, paid for, actual date.

You just want someone to do the heavy lifting for you and you're not getting what you feel are enough adequate men to accept your terms and conditions. The fact that it takes you forever just to get ready for a date tells me you are below average in attractiveness. An. averagely or better attractive woman doesn't have to put on makeup like a Level 5 drywall contractor has to mud a rec room. Not wear ridiculously fancy or expensive clothes. The first date I ever had with my now wife was completely spontaneous. She was a casual acquaintance in college and I ran into her at random coming back from her part time office job. I realized how great she looked (I wasn't thinking in terms of out.of my league but she probably was as she was dressed in business casual and I was wearing sweat pants sneakers a T-shirt and a hoody lol). On the total spur of the moment I asked her out right then and there and she said why not . It took her zero time to get ready for our date because there was no time. She looked fine

I wonder how would a woman who organizes dates for a man look like. Probably 200 lbs overweight. I’m 49, in great shape /20BMI, still pretty face with no wrinkles. I have no problems getting 1-2 quality, really well organized dates every week. It doesn’t need to be super expensive. If you shears invite them to restaurants you lack intelligence and don’t really know your city and cool dating spots.

In fact, your whole post shows how delusional you are- attractive women at any age don’t have shortage of men who are interested in planning and will pay for the dates. I had 35 yo men taking me out and they always planned and paid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m an attractive slim woman of high NW. I was surprised that men who are overweight get upset or offended when rejected. When I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny to progress I would offer them to work out with me, change the diet, do hiking etc. They don’t want change shit instead resorting to blaming me for “being too picky”. If he’s a VP of an investment bank he thinks that his deep pocket compensates for dad bod. He in a way settles for women who are being dishonest with him and their feelings.

Men don’t care if women truly desire them or not. That’s concerning.

A man worthy of the title should not throw any type of tantrum if he is rejected when asking a woman for a date. However, if he asks a woman out on a date, and her response is, "No, thank you. Would you like to be my hiking buddy?" or "No, thank you. Please lose weight and work out," he should have enough self-esteem to politely decline.

A woman does not owe a man a reason for declining a date. A polite "No, thank you" is all he should need to hear. Likewise, he has no obligation (or reason) to listen to someone evaluate his "dad bod".

In our society, men initiate dates with women (in most cases). This means that almost all men will be turned down at some point. If a man cannot handle that with grace, it is time to get out of the game.

Finally, to the PP. Please learn to write so that your post is readable. Your grammar is substandard, even for DCUM (e.g., "I feel somewhat romantic not not sufficiently horny", "He in a way settles for women"). Even better, invest in an AI grammar checker.

Actually, you are wrong about my responses to him. I would simply offer him to be friends until he drops weight. Some men prefer to stick around in woman’s orbit to get a chance. Others don’t

[Anonymous]

Women tend to be more delusional, because of two things 1. They tend to value more personality and intellect 2. They think they are nicer and smarter than the average woman.

So they might date someone out of their league, and still think it’s normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women tend to be more delusional, because of two things 1. They tend to value more personality and intellect 2. They think they are nicer and smarter than the average woman.

So they might date someone out of their league, and still think it’s normal.

If she’s dating a msn who is outside her income and intellect bracket it means he chose her. As men value looks more it’s likely because she’s a hottie

[Anonymous]

Actually, you are wrong about my responses to him. I would simply offer him to be friends until he drops weight. Some men prefer to stick around in woman’s orbit to get a chance. Others don’t

No. A man does not orbit.

He shoots his shot and moves on if it does not work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Actually, you are wrong about my responses to him. I would simply offer him to be friends until he drops weight. Some men prefer to stick around in woman’s orbit to get a chance. Others don’t

No. A man does not orbit.

He shoots his shot and moves on if it does not work out.

You have zero clue about relationships. Men absolutely orbit and re-approach women when their circumstances change, drop weight etc . Many successful marriages are between former colleagues, classmates etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Actually, you are wrong about my responses to him. I would simply offer him to be friends until he drops weight. Some men prefer to stick around in woman’s orbit to get a chance. Others don’t

No. A man does not orbit.

He shoots his shot and moves on if it does not work out.

No, rejected men (“alpha “ type in particular that’s not used to rejection) get surprised, request detailed explanation why you can’t be with them etc. I’m always frank why : you need to drop weight before I can join you on that trio in France you bragged about; I’m not ready for intimacy because you have a gut; you are an ass-e because you don’t tip and scream at service workers.

I can go on

[Anonymous]

Women, but it’s men’s fault. The advent of dating apps and the fact that men swipe way too frequently has given women a sense of desirability beyond their station.

[Anonymous]

No, rejected men (“alpha “ type in particular that’s not used to rejection) get surprised, request detailed explanation why you can’t be with them etc. I’m always frank why : you need to drop weight before I can join you on that trio in France you bragged about; I’m not ready for intimacy because you have a gut; you are an ass-e because you don’t tip and scream at service workers.

I can go on

Labels such as "alpha men" are stupid. A man either has enough self-esteem to avoid any of the begging noted in your post, or he does not.

You seem to attract men who lack self-esteem.

[Anonymous]

DCUM women hands down!

[Anonymous]

I don't think either group is "delusional." Rather as the necessity of being married to survive and and have a decent life has declined, both sexes have elevated their standards. If you can be happy or "kind of" happy single Why settle with someone who isn't your dream mate?