Is this cheating? I’d assume it’s not common

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Right?! A person would have to feel very entitled to someone else’s body to think that any touching of that body, even by the body’s owner, is cheating.

Touching herself is not the issue. Involving another person in it is the issue. Everyone saying it’s no problem would be perfectly fine with their partner involving somebody else in sexting and masturbating?

I would have a problem with sexting and masturbating. This is not that.

You sound unhinged.

OP
Telling each other they’re going to do it, texting about what they’re going to use, letting each other know they’ve started, and when they have had an O, but going for another, etc is not sexting and masturbating? What is it then? I have no issue with it, but her telling me she’d be angry if I did the exact same thing is comical. Why is it different?

That’s the sticking point in this discussion, she thinks it’s no big deal only because it’s 2 women and "that’s different". Ok, what’s different? She can’t say what is different, just that "it is"

We are not arguing about it, neither has an issue if it happens again, I just think the double standard is odd.

Did I miss the post where you said you asked her how she'd feel about you doing this, no more nor less than exactly what she did, with a dude?

This sounds like a joke between old friends that you decided to flip out about, mostly because you felt excluded. You're not entitled to her sexuality like that, and no, talking about it isn't cheating. Talking about it a lot still isn't cheating. Talking about it in detail? Not fscking cheating.

lol, haven’t "flipped out" at all. Why do the sexes matter? If she posted I had lunch with a girlfriend, talked about running home and masturbating at the same time, then texted while we were doing it, people here would call me a cheater and tell her to leave, they wouldn’t be telling her she has no right to "my body" like the posts here.

You're an idiot troll. Here's the simple math of why it matters: the assumption is that whatever got them so fired up was attractive to both of them, but not either of them. They didn't run home to JO about each other, or about the other jerking off. That's not the appeal. They made a game of their attraction to whoever/whatever. The assumption (again, in your troll thread devoid of actual facts so as to require assumption and increase potential drama) is that the object of their desires was probably male.

So if you and a female friend both got hot talking about Pedro Pascal (an aside: who doesn't love Pedro?), or Sidney Sweeney's rack (again, who wouldn't?), and went home and timed how long it took you both to get off, that's the same. But when you say "If I did this with a female, how is that any different?" the assumption (again, because troll posts are fueled by lack of facts provided) is that your "target of orgasmic intentions" isn't the same. Your wife and her friend thinking about some random celebrity dick isn't cheating, nor is it likely to lead to cheating as her female friend has no dick, celebrity or otherwise, to provide. You and a female friend jerking off to celebrity boobs/dick does create that potential, since one of you has what the other is looking for. There's a whole lot of assumed heterosexuality here, because you're a troll with a JO fantasy, and you like to argue with randoms on the internet. But assuming straightness, which you have, 2 women jerking off to a man, 2 men jerking off to a woman, a gay guy and a straight woman jerking off to a dude, a gay woman and a straight men jerking off to a woman... not cheating.

The key "not cheating" factor here is: SHE TOLD YOU. Cheaters don't go home and tell their spouses what they're up to. She's a woman with a healthy libido who trusted you enough to share with you (to the extent she exists, and she doesn't, because you're trolling). You are insecure and got upset about it and accused her of cheating. You're an idiot, and ass, and a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Right?! A person would have to feel very entitled to someone else’s body to think that any touching of that body, even by the body’s owner, is cheating.

Touching herself is not the issue. Involving another person in it is the issue. Everyone saying it’s no problem would be perfectly fine with their partner involving somebody else in sexting and masturbating?

I would have a problem with sexting and masturbating. This is not that.

You sound unhinged.

OP
Telling each other they’re going to do it, texting about what they’re going to use, letting each other know they’ve started, and when they have had an O, but going for another, etc is not sexting and masturbating? What is it then? I have no issue with it, but her telling me she’d be angry if I did the exact same thing is comical. Why is it different?

That’s the sticking point in this discussion, she thinks it’s no big deal only because it’s 2 women and "that’s different". Ok, what’s different? She can’t say what is different, just that "it is"

We are not arguing about it, neither has an issue if it happens again, I just think the double standard is odd.

np.

It’s different because men are gross ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Maybe not. But if the extent of the wife’s sexual activity is solo and is discrete about it, it’s just a level below. This assumes that the husband doesn’t lack interest. Regardless, the couples sex life isn’t together in this scenario.

Masturbation and sex are two different things. You don’t get to proscribe masturbation to “get” more sex. In fact, that would have quite the opposite effect in most women.

Masturbation is not different than sex if you do it together. What do you think old people do?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Maybe not. But if the extent of the wife’s sexual activity is solo and is discrete about it, it’s just a level below. This assumes that the husband doesn’t lack interest. Regardless, the couples sex life isn’t together in this scenario.

Masturbation and sex are two different things. You don’t get to proscribe masturbation to “get” more sex. In fact, that would have quite the opposite effect in most women.

Masturbation is not different than sex if you do it together. What do you think old people do?!?

That's not what happened tho. Follow the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Maybe not. But if the extent of the wife’s sexual activity is solo and is discrete about it, it’s just a level below. This assumes that the husband doesn’t lack interest. Regardless, the couples sex life isn’t together in this scenario.

Well if your wife still has libido to take care of herself, you need to figure out why she doesn't want to do it with you. Clearly that's where the issue lies...

How would one find out? I have asked what she likes and dislikes in bed, and received minimal feedback.

If I asked, she would cite stress or that I need to do more around the house. However, these areas improved, I she may be more willing, but would probably be mostly out obligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Touching yourself is not cheating. No matter how little you touch someone else. Get over yourself.

Maybe not. But if the extent of the wife’s sexual activity is solo and is discrete about it, it’s just a level below. This assumes that the husband doesn’t lack interest. Regardless, the couples sex life isn’t together in this scenario.

Masturbation and sex are two different things. You don’t get to proscribe masturbation to “get” more sex. In fact, that would have quite the opposite effect in most women.

Should (and do they) women discuss the topic with their husbands?