Casual Racism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian (100% Japanese) & while I can relate - I personally would not have a problem w/the latter but maybe would w/the first situation.

For what it’s worth, I live in SoCal + there is a large Asian population here so you may like it here better than Hawaii.

It is just as expensive though but bonus is that it never rains here.

DP.. I'm originally from SoCal, Korean American. I had the exact same thing happen to me, but in Japanese. I think I was in San Diego and another case in Santa Barbara. Granted this was decades ago, but there were still enough Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese people in Socal for people to not make assumptions about what type of Asian the person is.

IMO, it's ignorance and stereotyping. There are a lot of Chinese people, a lot more than Koreans, in the DC area. So, a person assumes you are Chinese rather than any other Asian heritage. Even so, there are also enough American born Asians in this area to not assume that the person knows how to speak Chinese. That's the other assumption and/or stereotype -- that even if you are Chinese American, a child would know what xiexie means.

No one says to a white person "danke shon", as if they think all white people know what thank you means in German.

It is annoying. It's a bit like the "but where are you *really*" from shtick. I get that, too. Maybe by our grand kids' ages this won't be an issue.

As an aside, dam! I miss CA weather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

Of course it’s based on her looks. That’s the whole point. PP is not offended (because she sounds astonishingly normal). Take a lesson.

This is totally confusing

What are Inca or Mayan Latina "looks"? And if they are somehow distinctive, how is it they would be confused with Asian "looks"? This gets weirder and weirder.

A study of incan or Mayan roots could give you some insight. There's something called the bering strait that connected Asia to the America's hence giving natives their close to Asian looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

Of course it’s based on her looks. That’s the whole point. PP is not offended (because she sounds astonishingly normal). Take a lesson.

This is totally confusing

What are Inca or Mayan Latina "looks"? And if they are somehow distinctive, how is it they would be confused with Asian "looks"? This gets weirder and weirder.

To be fair, Mayans and Incans don’t look the same. - the pp Mexican Mayan.

[Anonymous]

I've experienced things that some might consider "micro aggressions" but I don't get wound up about it. Sometimes a person is just trying to connect and doesn't have the cultural literacy or exposure, so they make a gaff.

My anger is reserved for people with bad intent or aims. There's plenty of more pressing things to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

Of course it’s based on her looks. That’s the whole point. PP is not offended (because she sounds astonishingly normal). Take a lesson.

It's obvious you're not Hispanic. No Hispanic wants to be perceived as Mayan or incan. Heck Latinos who are Salvadoran don't want to be called Mexican or vice versa. It's a major offense. You're just another white person trying to justify acting an idiot. It's not like I go around speaking German or Russian to white people.

What do you mean no Hispanic wants to be perceived as Mayan or Incan? Lol I’m the Latina/Hispanic PP and proudly Maya from Mexico. People in this area tend to think I’m Salvadoran because that’s the predominant group. I don’t get offended because there’s nothing wrong with being from El Salvador or Guatemala or Bolivia.

Getting back to the original point- people are trying to reach out, make connections and be friendly.

N.adie quiere el look Indio is what I mean. I don't want to connect with idiots so ignore their dumb quips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

Being perceived as an outsider is why Japanese Americans were put in internment camps during WW2 but Italian Americans and German Americans were not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian (100% Japanese) & while I can relate - I personally would not have a problem w/the latter but maybe would w/the first situation.

For what it’s worth, I live in SoCal + there is a large Asian population here so you may like it here better than Hawaii.

It is just as expensive though but bonus is that it never rains here.

DP.. I'm originally from SoCal, Korean American. I had the exact same thing happen to me, but in Japanese. I think I was in San Diego and another case in Santa Barbara. Granted this was decades ago, but there were still enough Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese people in Socal for people to not make assumptions about what type of Asian the person is.

IMO, it's ignorance and stereotyping. There are a lot of Chinese people, a lot more than Koreans, in the DC area. So, a person assumes you are Chinese rather than any other Asian heritage. Even so, there are also enough American born Asians in this area to not assume that the person knows how to speak Chinese. That's the other assumption and/or stereotype -- that even if you are Chinese American, a child would know what xiexie means.

No one says to a white person "danke shon", as if they think all white people know what thank you means in German.

It is annoying. It's a bit like the "but where are you *really*" from shtick. I get that, too. Maybe by our grand kids' ages this won't be an issue.

As an aside, dam! I miss CA weather.

Do you think the vast majority of white people know any words in an Asian language? Much like few even know German words, or how to spell them correctly, ahem. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes will be made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

Boom! So I gues I can no longer say "Ni hao ma" even though I speak Mandarin and would like to practice it. I can no longer say "Bon Jour" without criticism. And I can't speak Spanish to those in Nova who have difficulty speaking english, without being called a racist. Got it.

I mean, you shouldn’t be saying Ni hao ma unless you know that this person is a native Mandarin speaker. And it’s difficult to tell just by looking at someone. It’s the assumption that is offensive.

I’ve had people make assumptions about me based on how I look, but I wasn’t offended because I didn’t consider the assumption, if true, to be a bad thing. E.g., someone recently thought I might be Eastern European. I didn’t find it derogatory at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian (100% Japanese) & while I can relate - I personally would not have a problem w/the latter but maybe would w/the first situation.

For what it’s worth, I live in SoCal + there is a large Asian population here so you may like it here better than Hawaii.

It is just as expensive though but bonus is that it never rains here.

DP.. I'm originally from SoCal, Korean American. I had the exact same thing happen to me, but in Japanese. I think I was in San Diego and another case in Santa Barbara. Granted this was decades ago, but there were still enough Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese people in Socal for people to not make assumptions about what type of Asian the person is.

IMO, it's ignorance and stereotyping. There are a lot of Chinese people, a lot more than Koreans, in the DC area. So, a person assumes you are Chinese rather than any other Asian heritage. Even so, there are also enough American born Asians in this area to not assume that the person knows how to speak Chinese. That's the other assumption and/or stereotype -- that even if you are Chinese American, a child would know what xiexie means.

No one says to a white person "danke shon", as if they think all white people know what thank you means in German.

It is annoying. It's a bit like the "but where are you *really*" from shtick. I get that, too. Maybe by our grand kids' ages this won't be an issue.

As an aside, dam! I miss CA weather.

Do you think the vast majority of white people know any words in an Asian language? Much like few even know German words, or how to spell them correctly, ahem. Nobody is perfect. Mistakes will be made.

No, they don't, hence the ignorance of assuming that an Asian person must be Chinese.

It's 2023 (almost 2024), and the DC area is very diverse. Ignorant to make assumptions about someone's heritage in this area in 2023.

[Anonymous]

Whites will be a minority 2045 and all this will be over. Perfect!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

? expecting to be treated like an American, because the kid is American born, is now considered "red carpet treatment"?

[Anonymous]

Ricky Gervais just released a special basically about this post on Netflix. Pretty decent look at all this microagressive environment we live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

? expecting to be treated like an American, because the kid is American born, is now considered "red carpet treatment"?

? Most Americans don't treat each other very well. You're not special. And if you want people to not notice differences. Stop expecting preferential treatment because of differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've experienced things that some might consider "micro aggressions" but I don't get wound up about it. Sometimes a person is just trying to connect and doesn't have the cultural literacy or exposure, so they make a gaff.

My anger is reserved for people with bad intent or aims. There's plenty of more pressing things to worry about.

+1
Completely agree. Life is nice when there's time to worry about these micro aggression. I can't wait for the nano aggressions to come next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

You mean fragile like you who can’t stand being told to be more considerate