Casual Racism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

Yeah? Is that what you call what you’re doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

It’s getting to the point where people just need to keep their mouths shut and just nod their heads, or else you’re a flaming racist/homophobe/(insert whichever accusation you like here). Every words gets dissected and assigned meaning and intent. It’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

Says the person who has not had to deal with such things her entire life.

It's easy to be like you when you don't experience what others do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

It’s getting to the point where people just need to keep their mouths shut and just nod their heads, or else you’re a flaming racist/homophobe/(insert whichever accusation you like here). Every words gets dissected and assigned meaning and intent. It’s ridiculous.

How about if people just decide not to zero in on someone else's difference from themselves when interacting with them? If you wouldn't say Xiexie to a random white person, don't say it to a random Asian person. If you wouldn't tell an able bodied person "wow you're doing so great walking!" then don't say it to a disabled person you don't know. Don't assume people you don't know aren't as American as you are.

I don't understand why this is so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

+1

Agree. First gen here. You would not believe some of the sh&t that has been said to my face, and those of my family. People usually have good intentions (well maybe not in the DC area, but you KWIM). Stop looking to be offended. Stop looking to be the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

You are asking for the impossible. What offends one Asian person or Hispanic or black or whatever, is laughed off by another.

I don’t care about my unconscious biases and I don’t care about yours. How about that? Much simpler all around.

Tell me you’re white without telling me you’re white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The man basically said "All Asians look alike" and look at the all the fine white folks in here excusing it and blaming the recipient for being offended.

Can you tell which country Latinos come from? Some of us can but most Black and White Americans, the ones who have been here their whole life can’t. Mexico is part of North America but Americans typically use the term “Mexicans” to describe anyone from a South American country. They can’t the difference from a Peruvian and a Guatemalan even though they look nothing alike.

I’m European but I bet none of you can identify what European country I am from based on my appearance…should I be offended? Or does this only apply to people with high levels of melanin?

DP I've lived in a number of European countries, from East to West and North to South, and have gotten really good at guessing nationalities! Especially if you dressed in clothes you purchased in your home country, then I bet I could identify at least the region you're from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

Boom! So I gues I can no longer say "Ni hao ma" even though I speak Mandarin and would like to practice it. I can no longer say "Bon Jour" without criticism. And I can't speak Spanish to those in Nova who have difficulty speaking english, without being called a racist. Got it.

I mean, you shouldn’t be saying Ni hao ma unless you know that this person is a native Mandarin speaker. And it’s difficult to tell just by looking at someone. It’s the assumption that is offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

Says the person who has not had to deal with such things her entire life.

It's easy to be like you when you don't experience what others do.

You are assuming a lot. Which you have to when someone’s opinion is different than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

You are asking for the impossible. What offends one Asian person or Hispanic or black or whatever, is laughed off by another.

I don’t care about my unconscious biases and I don’t care about yours. How about that? Much simpler all around.

Tell me you’re white without telling me you’re white.

Tell me you’re making assumptions without telling me you’re making assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

It’s getting to the point where people just need to keep their mouths shut and just nod their heads, or else you’re a flaming racist/homophobe/(insert whichever accusation you like here). Every words gets dissected and assigned meaning and intent. It’s ridiculous.

How about if people just decide not to zero in on someone else's difference from themselves when interacting with them? If you wouldn't say Xiexie to a random white person, don't say it to a random Asian person. If you wouldn't tell an able bodied person "wow you're doing so great walking!" then don't say it to a disabled person you don't know. Don't assume people you don't know aren't as American as you are.

I don't understand why this is so hard.

And I don’t understand what’s so hard about ignoring what someone says especially if it’s only offensive to some people and not others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

Of course it’s based on her looks. That’s the whole point. PP is not offended (because she sounds astonishingly normal). Take a lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Latina. People say hola and gracias to me all the time. It’s not racist but their way of trying to be friendly and make a connection. It’s not racism and it’s not a micro aggression.

They're saying it based on your Mayan or inca Latina looks. A Latina went up to an Asian lady in my area and started speaking to her in Spanish. After she was done the Asian lady looked pissed and told her she wasn't Hispanic.

Of course it’s based on her looks. That’s the whole point. PP is not offended (because she sounds astonishingly normal). Take a lesson.

It's obvious you're not Hispanic. No Hispanic wants to be perceived as Mayan or incan. Heck Latinos who are Salvadoran don't want to be called Mexican or vice versa. It's a major offense. You're just another white person trying to justify acting an idiot. It's not like I go around speaking German or Russian to white people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

Thank you.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

It’s getting to the point where people just need to keep their mouths shut and just nod their heads, or else you’re a flaming racist/homophobe/(insert whichever accusation you like here). Every words gets dissected and assigned meaning and intent. It’s ridiculous.

How about if people just decide not to zero in on someone else's difference from themselves when interacting with them? If you wouldn't say Xiexie to a random white person, don't say it to a random Asian person. If you wouldn't tell an able bodied person "wow you're doing so great walking!" then don't say it to a disabled person you don't know. Don't assume people you don't know aren't as American as you are.

I don't understand why this is so hard.