My sister told me I am not allowed to grieve our father in her house around her baby

[Anonymous]

She has a 9 month old baby and our father passed 5 months ago. My mother is visiting for the first time since his death and it will be a hard and emotional visit. My sister says she does not want negative energy in her house or around her baby and we can cry when we are at my place or outside.

I thought this was such a weird comment to make.

[Anonymous]

Oh boy. Gonna be quite a ride with your sister. Buckle up.

[Anonymous]

Yelling and anger are types of negative energy that I agree should not be around a baby.

But she sounds nuts.

Is she into aura repair?

[Anonymous]

You both taking it too far in both directions. Your all crying must be bad if she said so.
On the other hand, I'd never cry 5 months afterwards and my sister would not have the need to say it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your sister has enough on her plate and does not want to be a grief support person for others. Nor does she want symbol of death and new life baggage placed on her baby.

[Anonymous]

Fear period for human babies peaks at 7-10 months.

If you hadn't shown any proclivity to crying or otherwise visible grief, then yes, it would be a very off-putting comment. But I'm going to assume that you did, and she's right, I wouldn't want that around my 9 months old either, because as explained above, they're at a sensitive age.

Baby comes first.

[Anonymous]

I still cry for my dad who died five years ago.

Kids should know that grieving is a normal and positive process and expressing sadness is not a negative, when not taken too far, of course.

Your niece/nephew may need to cry at your house at some point if their mom refuses to recognize this.

[Anonymous]

Your sister sounds like a momzilla. She can’t dictate how you grieve.

I would like to know how she would feel if you told her she can only express her emotions in approved ways.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't host

[Anonymous]

A bit crazy, but her house, her rules. Frankly, with a nine month baby you and your mother should celebrate the joy of life and do the grieving elsewhere. When my father died I traveled there with my two month baby (I was nursing) and the baby really helped put life in perspective for the rest of my family.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I see my sister once a week. We grab brunch or coffee. We chat and catch up. We of course talk about our dad and I tear up. But thats it.

So...I don't know how she equated that to screaming and crying for hours on end.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your sister. I bet you are dramatic and she’s sick of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your sister has enough on her plate and does not want to be a grief support person for others. Nor does she want symbol of death and new life baggage placed on her baby.

+1 Your sis is doing this right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I see my sister once a week. We grab brunch or coffee. We chat and catch up. We of course talk about our dad and I tear up. But thats it.

So...I don't know how she equated that to screaming and crying for hours on end.

Did she actually say those words, OP? Why are you exaggerating? Her baby is in their fear period. Surely you can understand that you can't negatively impact their development at this critical juncture. Get a hold of yourself, and if you think you can't, don't visit right now. Or shorten the visit.

[Anonymous]

Well, it's her house and her baby. And yes, it will upset the baby.

Being a new mom is exhausting and she probably just doesn't want to deal with other people's feelings. You need to find another outlet for your grief.