If you did not do many chores growing up, do you wish your parents had made you?

[Anonymous]

I am well aware of all of the research that says doing chores growing up is evidently really good for kids. Right now my kids help me unload the dishwasher (the younger one more often) and sometimes sort laundry but that’s about it. They have expressed interest in learning how to do the laundry so hopefully they will do that when they are a little older, also taking out trash. They sometimes clean their rooms on their own, usually if I ask them to clean it and say that they need to have it clean before they do something like TV they usually do it without putting up too much of a fight. They are young, 3 and 6. Sometimes they help pick up before I need to vacuum, other times they won’t want to help and I don’t force it. I do try to make it fun for them and have them join in. My little one enjoys helping me change the bedding,

I feel a little bad to admit it, but I barely helped my mom (stay at home) with chores growing up. Sometimes she would have us sort the laundry and put it away, or help vacuum, but that’s about it. I would put up a big fight and refuse to clean my room, which would create some screaming matches, although I think I eventually would do it. I’m not sure if I did not do many chores just because she did not ask me to, or she would ask and I would not help and she didn’t want to force it. I think in general it was seen as our main job was to study and get good grades, which we all did, and she would do almost all of the chores.

now as an adult, I do not love doing chores of course, but I do it because we need to in order to keep our household running. Oddly, I stay on top of chores a lot more in my 40s than I did in my 20s and early 30s when I was living with roommates. I’m not the neatest but I like a mostly tidy house. Anyway, my general idea is to invite my kids to keep helping me, encouraging them to help, but I’m not sure I really want to force it…although it would maybe be good if they had some regular responsibilities as they get older since I work full-time, and it would be nice to have their help.

I’m curious, if you were not made to do chores growing up, do you wish your parents had pushed more? Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve benefited from doing more chores, since there are all of these good outcomes, but I’m not really sure since it feels like I figured it out all my own eventually.

I wonder if some of the figuring it out on my own was due to socialization as being a woman. Most of the people that I know who were really slobs into adulthood are men who I think were just comfortable living in a mess.

[Anonymous]

Never had chores. Glad I didn’t. I can’t imagine how having chores would have made me a better person.

[Anonymous]

Never had chores except to straighten up here and there sometimes. My mom was a Sahm and she did it all somehow. No, I don't think it would have made me better, as soon as I moved out of the house I noticed quite quickly that if I didn't clean up after myself the dishes would just stay there or the laundry wouldn't wash and dry themselves. It's really not that hard a lesson to learn as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never had chores except to straighten up here and there sometimes. My mom was a Sahm and she did it all somehow. No, I don't think it would have made me better, as soon as I moved out of the house I noticed quite quickly that if I didn't clean up after myself the dishes would just stay there or the laundry wouldn't wash and dry themselves. It's really not that hard a lesson to learn as an adult.

And no I don't regret not having more chores, no matter what the research says BUT I did carry a superiority complex over housekeepers and maids which I know now as a mom was silly. But as a 20 or 30 something fabulous person, I thought they were lower than me so to speak but I don't think that way anymore after becoming a mom and having to cook, clean and do laundry 24/7.

[Anonymous]

I think the importance of chores is overstated.

I had chores. I don’t see how it helped me. Yes, I did my own laundry and cleaned my bathroom and helped clean up after dinner. However, if didn’t, I would have been able to do those things just fine as an adult!

[Anonymous]

I was expected to do chores growing up and it wouldn't occur to me not to expect my kids to help with age-appropriate chores. My parents viewed learning how to do housework as a basic life skill for me and my siblings (of both genders) and I view it the same way. We give our kids some leeway on the state of their rooms, but expect them to help tidy up common areas, sweep, clear table, put away laundry, and do dishes. Sometimes they aren't thrilled to pitch in, but it's a non-negotiable expectation in our family.

[Anonymous]

I never did chores either and my house is spotless like a boss now. Don’t require chores for my kids either

[Anonymous]

I learned how to do everything when I moved away for college. It’s not rocket science

[Anonymous]

No. I definitely don't wish that. I managed to still be really good at and responsible about chores when I left their house.

[Anonymous]

What is the definition of a chore? My kids have to clear their places after eating, hang up towels after bathing, etc. I don't have them take out the garbage, they have helped me and once or twice proactively put it out on trash day. Those of you that never had chores, how did you learn what/how to do things around the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the definition of a chore? My kids have to clear their places after eating, hang up towels after bathing, etc. I don't have them take out the garbage, they have helped me and once or twice proactively put it out on trash day. Those of you that never had chores, how did you learn what/how to do things around the house?

Sure I had to take care of my own things/messes but never any common areas or kitchen or yard or what have you. Maybe the occasional one-off but no regular expectations. I learned by just being around my parents doing it. It is not rocket science. And when I went to college and beyond I liked things clean and tidy and organized so I just...made sure they were clean and tidy and organized. Maybe my dad showed me how to change the AC filter and things like that at one point but they were not chorse.

[Anonymous]

No. I don't understand this chore obsession on DCUM, and the stupid pride some posters take in assigning chores to very young children.

I made my bed and straightened out my room, that's it. Then I left home and was perfectly able to clean my apartment, cook my meals and generally be an adult. My parents asked me for help randomly when they needed it, particularly my disabled mother, to write letters, help her down the stairs, fetch and carry, or cook simple meals. But I didn't have assigned tasks.

I've done the same with my kids. They have no chores. They help me out when I need help, like when I'm running late and need all hands on deck to vacuum, mop, dust, walk the dog, help me in the kitchen, etc. I prefer to do the laundry myself to consolidate it and not waste water.

When my oldest left for college last year, I showed him how to do laundry and various basic things he'd never done before. He had no trouble adulting this year in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I don't understand this chore obsession on DCUM, and the stupid pride some posters take in assigning chores to very young children.

I made my bed and straightened out my room, that's it. Then I left home and was perfectly able to clean my apartment, cook my meals and generally be an adult. My parents asked me for help randomly when they needed it, particularly my disabled mother, to write letters, help her down the stairs, fetch and carry, or cook simple meals. But I didn't have assigned tasks.

I've done the same with my kids. They have no chores. They help me out when I need help, like when I'm running late and need all hands on deck to vacuum, mop, dust, walk the dog, help me in the kitchen, etc. I prefer to do the laundry myself to consolidate it and not waste water.

When my oldest left for college last year, I showed him how to do laundry and various basic things he'd never done before. He had no trouble adulting this year in college.

I’m same

[Anonymous]

Never had chores. Now I’m a stay at home mom and love it.

[Anonymous]

I never had chores as a child, but we lived in a country where household help was ubiquitous. It didn’t take me any time to figure things out once I arrived in the US for college.