Reply to If you did not do many chores growing up, do you wish your parents had made you?

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[quote=Anonymous]I am well aware of all of the research that says doing chores growing up is evidently really good for kids. Right now my kids help me unload the dishwasher (the younger one more often) and sometimes sort laundry but that’s about it. They have expressed interest in learning how to do the laundry so hopefully they will do that when they are a little older, also taking out trash. They sometimes clean their rooms on their own, usually if I ask them to clean it and say that they need to have it clean before they do something like TV they usually do it without putting up too much of a fight. They are young, 3 and 6. Sometimes they help pick up before I need to vacuum, other times they won’t want to help and I don’t force it. I do try to make it fun for them and have them join in. My little one enjoys helping me change the bedding,

I feel a little bad to admit it, but I barely helped my mom (stay at home) with chores growing up. Sometimes she would have us sort the laundry and put it away, or help vacuum, but that’s about it. I would put up a big fight and refuse to clean my room, which would create some screaming matches, although I think I eventually would do it. I’m not sure if I did not do many chores just because she did not ask me to, or she would ask and I would not help and she didn’t want to force it. I think in general it was seen as our main job was to study and get good grades, which we all did, and she would do almost all of the chores.

now as an adult, I do not love doing chores of course, but I do it because we need to in order to keep our household running. Oddly, I stay on top of chores a lot more in my 40s than I did in my 20s and early 30s when I was living with roommates. I’m not the neatest but I like a mostly tidy house. Anyway, my general idea is to invite my kids to keep helping me, encouraging them to help, but I’m not sure I really want to force it…although it would maybe be good if they had some regular responsibilities as they get older since I work full-time, and it would be nice to have their help.

I’m curious, if you were not made to do chores growing up, do you wish your parents had pushed more? Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve benefited from doing more chores, since there are all of these good outcomes, but I’m not really sure since it feels like I figured it out all my own eventually.

I wonder if some of the figuring it out on my own was due to socialization as being a woman. Most of the people that I know who were really slobs into adulthood are men who I think were just comfortable living in a mess.

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