Disaster coming with brother and fiancé

[Anonymous]

Team 11 year old. Step dad to be might be overcompensating on the food, but he’s coming from a place of wanting her to feel comfortable. Aunt to be is going to be the bane of this poor child’s existence. Will turn the 6 year old against her step-cousin soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know many tween girls, but all the ones I do know would be "picky eaters" by some folks' definition.

A number are vegetarian or vegan. Others are into "healthy eating" and hot dogs would be disdained. If you served hot dogs and hamburgers, mac n cheese and cocoa puffs for breakfast, they wouldn't eat.

I know one lovely young girl who likes her food bland. Serve her something even mildly spicy and she won't eat it.

And, I know everyone seems to be dumping on you but...did you ask about food preferences before the weekend? Most people do these days...especially where kids are involved.

We did. Brother and SIL are vegan, the daughter is not. She eats chicken nuggets, but they had to road-test several brands. She couldn’t eat certain ones, and when they ordered her chicken fingers along with their cheeseless pizzas, and she rejected the chicken for being too big, she could not eat them after they cut them to smaller pieces.

I wish I were making any of this up. It’s kind of hilarious to me now. I am not creative enough to even make this crap up.

A PP asked if this was a fast-moving relationship relative to his past ones, and if that’s why we didn’t see some of this going in. Yes, it is, and that was part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You PPs are totally and completely insane. The circumstances are as I put them. She’s a user and a liar; I know the rule is to pile on OP, but that changes nothing.

I think what you’re not getting is that NONE of the circumstances that are apparently so triggering to you amount to anything. That is why people think you sound insane. So far we have:

- goes grocery shopping a lot and wants certain brands
- lets 11 year old child stay up late
- never married child’s father; complains about father
- takes ubers
- lets daughter have bedroom in rent controlled apartment
- gets daughter financial aid for private school
- does not want to lose rent controlled apartment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You PPs are totally and completely insane. The circumstances are as I put them. She’s a user and a liar; I know the rule is to pile on OP, but that changes nothing.

If you think everybody else is crazy except you that's a big red flag. Just sayin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team 11 year old. Step dad to be might be overcompensating on the food, but he’s coming from a place of wanting her to feel comfortable. Aunt to be is going to be the bane of this poor child’s existence. Will turn the 6 year old against her step-cousin soon enough.

Nope. I have no interest in dealing with the level of idiocy that leads to the Veruca Salt-level spoiling of a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You PPs are totally and completely insane. The circumstances are as I put them. She’s a user and a liar; I know the rule is to pile on OP, but that changes nothing.

I think what you’re not getting is that NONE of the circumstances that are apparently so triggering to you amount to anything. That is why people think you sound insane. So far we have:

- goes grocery shopping a lot and wants certain brands
- lets 11 year old child stay up late
- never married child’s father; complains about father
- takes ubers
- lets daughter have bedroom in rent controlled apartment
- gets daughter financial aid for private school
- does not want to lose rent controlled apartment

You forgot accepts engagement ring while making it impossible to marry because she can’t afford to live in an apartment with her husband. This is not normal, dear. People who want love and peace in their lives aren’t having one party not plan to cohabitate while accepting a ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know many tween girls, but all the ones I do know would be "picky eaters" by some folks' definition.

A number are vegetarian or vegan. Others are into "healthy eating" and hot dogs would be disdained. If you served hot dogs and hamburgers, mac n cheese and cocoa puffs for breakfast, they wouldn't eat.

I know one lovely young girl who likes her food bland. Serve her something even mildly spicy and she won't eat it.

And, I know everyone seems to be dumping on you but...did you ask about food preferences before the weekend? Most people do these days...especially where kids are involved.

We did. Brother and SIL are vegan, the daughter is not. She eats chicken nuggets, but they had to road-test several brands. She couldn’t eat certain ones, and when they ordered her chicken fingers along with their cheeseless pizzas, and she rejected the chicken for being too big, she could not eat them after they cut them to smaller pieces.

I wish I were making any of this up. It’s kind of hilarious to me now. I am not creative enough to even make this crap up.

A PP asked if this was a fast-moving relationship relative to his past ones, and if that’s why we didn’t see some of this going in. Yes, it is, and that was part of the problem.

Agreed that you are an insufficiently creative troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know many tween girls, but all the ones I do know would be "picky eaters" by some folks' definition.

A number are vegetarian or vegan. Others are into "healthy eating" and hot dogs would be disdained. If you served hot dogs and hamburgers, mac n cheese and cocoa puffs for breakfast, they wouldn't eat.

I know one lovely young girl who likes her food bland. Serve her something even mildly spicy and she won't eat it.

And, I know everyone seems to be dumping on you but...did you ask about food preferences before the weekend? Most people do these days...especially where kids are involved.

We did. Brother and SIL are vegan, the daughter is not. She eats chicken nuggets, but they had to road-test several brands. She couldn’t eat certain ones, and when they ordered her chicken fingers along with their cheeseless pizzas, and she rejected the chicken for being too big, she could not eat them after they cut them to smaller pieces.

I wish I were making any of this up. It’s kind of hilarious to me now. I am not creative enough to even make this crap up.

A PP asked if this was a fast-moving relationship relative to his past ones, and if that’s why we didn’t see some of this going in. Yes, it is, and that was part of the problem.

Agreed that you are an insufficiently creative troll.

It’s all true, which sucks. My parents love my husband, i love my husband’s sisters. Not everyone is decent, I’m sure you can relate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You PPs are totally and completely insane. The circumstances are as I put them. She’s a user and a liar; I know the rule is to pile on OP, but that changes nothing.

If you think everybody else is crazy except you that's a big red flag. Just sayin.

The hive mind here is never impressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what OP’s parents are thinking too

Probably desperately brainstorming how to see their son in the future without OP knowing/interfering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious what OP’s parents are thinking too

Probably desperately brainstorming how to see their son in the future without OP knowing/interfering.

Nope, worrying about how to talk to him. I get it, you relate to someone who uses others. Is that normal for you? For a woman in her mid-40s to not offer to carry beach chairs for soon to be in laws in their 70s? That’s a nice thing to stick up for.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are missing some core facts. A 16 year lease on an apartment isn’t a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are missing some core facts. A 16 year lease on an apartment isn’t a thing.

Yes it is under Mitchell-Lama in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are missing some core facts. A 16 year lease on an apartment isn’t a thing.

I think I caught that they are in NYC. In NYC, rent-controlled apartments are frequently passed down from parents to children. Keeping it isn’t crazy at all. Maybe OP doesn’t understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are missing some core facts. A 16 year lease on an apartment isn’t a thing.

I think I caught that they are in NYC. In NYC, rent-controlled apartments are frequently passed down from parents to children. Keeping it isn’t crazy at all. Maybe OP doesn’t understand this.

If this is the case, OP and her family are really off-base criticizing the SIL. Preserving that kind of deal plus private tuition is really important. They can get married when the kid graduates. In the meantime, it makes ZERO sense to get married soon. SIL would be crazy to do so. Absolutely crazy.